With more companies announcing mandatory return to office (RTO) policies, I’m curious — how are other developers handling the shift back to in-person work? Do you prefer working from the office, or are you still team WFH?
I recently accepted a new grad offer as a Software Engineer I, and starting soon, I’ll be commuting to the office 3-4 days a week in downtown. My past internships were all remote, so this is a large shift for me.
For those of you who have already worked in-office, I’d love to hear your advice on a few things:
- How do you handle the fatigue from commuting?
- If you’ve ever felt awkward or shy in the office, how did you overcome it?
- What’s typical attire like for engineering teams these days?
- Do you usually pack your lunch, or grab something near the office?
For those who work in-office or have a hybrid schedule, I’d really appreciate any tips on making the most of the experience. Thanks! 😊
Commuting tips:I try to head into the office a bit earlier than most, just so I can avoid the people traffic. I've both travelled by car and by public transport for WFO days and can say that I much prefer the public transport option. Understandably this might not be a good option for everyone if you live/work in a city that might not have very good public transport links - but I have found that this option just gives me the time to sort of wind-up for the day and to wind-down too on the way home. Don't do work related activities on these commutes - i think its really important too start the day just being you for a bit, slow down. Also weed helps.
Surviving the modern office:Some things really haven't changed. I suffer from being just social awkward. I kind of just come in, put on a mask for 6-8 hours and try to be even a little bit social at lunch. Ive found that 'meeting' people remotely has been a lot easier, so once i get settled in a role and meet a few members of the team, i will arrange to go into the office on the same days so can get lunch together. Also weed helps.
Attire:It depends on the company, not the team. Start Ups ( depending on the sector ) are usually fine with jeans & tshirt vibe. I've worked in some digital design ad agencies where I could rock in wearing a Iron Maiden vest, shorts and trainers, then if you work in like proper enterprise jobs, its gonna be smart/casual - you might get away with nice clean sneakers in most places. If you're not too sure, ask. If you are anxious about asking - then just go into the office one day, wearing whatever you get the 'vibe' of from seeing people on camera. Dont worry, if you're wrong with your assumptions, someone will probably let you know, and you get a free pass because - no one ever told you.
Lunch:Lunch is a great time to be social ( if you want to be ) or escape and get some quiet time. Really its up to you what you feel best doing. If you are looking to make friends and meet new people - this is the best time to do it. As for lunch, I would say that if you can afford it, bring a small lunch in but expect to go out and so you can have both bases covered. Location also has a impact here - some places you can get a good lunch on campus / in-office, so no one really brings lunch in. If you need some time to decompress though and just get a break - I used to just bring in lunch and sat in my car for an hour alone.
Great discussion!
How do you handle the fatigue from commuting?
Definitely seek out a media routine that you can look forward to every day: Podcast, audiobook, etc. I think that's key. Give this enough thought that you have a backup plan if the show isn't on as normal or you finish your book etc.
Also, try and not being in a hurry. Just always leave enough time you're never rushed, so if there are delays, instead of stressing you can zone out and enjoy your media.
If you’ve ever felt awkward or shy in the office, how did you overcome it?
Here's a tip: Thinkaheadabout the relevant hobbies or interesting things you have going on in your life so you always have something relevant to say for basic small talk. It's not always organic for everyone to even think of what you did this weekend, and that can feel awkward. So actually prepare a bit (maybe on your commute as a fun exercise) for this and you will feel more at ease.
What’s typical attire like for engineering teams these days?
I imagine this varies pretty widely. I doubt anyone would be weirded out by you asking them ahead of showing up if nothing was mentioned about this. I feel like most places these daysgenerallyhave a "be yourself" policy and I think you'll be happiest to dress in a way that feels most genuine.
I think if you're going to be among people it always feels nice to feel like you put insomeeffort vs just throwing something on, but it has to be a routine, vs something you struggle to figure out each morning and maybe give up on.
Do you usually pack your lunch, or grab something near the office?
Healthier and cheaper to pack your own and use whatever's nearby as a backup plan. Between add-ons/tip/taxes, eating out adds up even if it only seems like a small dent.
I personally like to "go for coffee" even if the office has some just because I find that to be a really nice part of a morning routine, and a single coffee doesn't add up in cost quite the way lunch can.
Opinions can definitely vary on all of this, so feel free to disagree with me on anything!
Hi Ben this is a really fantastic comment - thank you for your advice! I definitely will probably listen to audiobooks or read on my kindle during the commute as part of my daily routine, and for the first week or two I'll probably leave extra early until I know exactly how much time I need for the journey to the office 😅
I agree eating out for lunch every day will be a significant cost that I'd like to avoid so packing lunch seems to be the way to go! You sound a lot like me - it's very hard to give up a good coffee so I probably will still let myself grab one as a pick me up during the day.
Seconding@ben's comments about the commute, attire, and lunch - I used to have a very active podcast queue, and I just haven't been able to keep up with it since WFH. I'm not really someone who can listen to podcasts and also type/think about code, so I would say, find a way to enjoy your commute! I loved the chance to learn about things passively while also "moving" at an above human speed (i.e. 55mph+)! And depending on where you commute/live, traffic could be a nasty thing. Especially if you drive, leave early enough so that you never have to worry about speeding, passing people, weaving in and out of traffic -- That is what makes commuting unhealthy. I'm always amazed at the road rage I see on the roads, sometimes even from the people closest to me!
Wholeheartedly I agree about making lunch or bringing leftovers as your lunch. However when I was commuting I didn't take this advice, and as such, I always had to pay $12-17 per meal. It feels like it's even more expensive these days. Now that I WFH, and have paid off all my debts, I love seeing my bank accounts grow just by having more money left at the end of the month. But there are several methodologies here - Ramit Singh's "Rich Life", Dave Ramsey, The Money Guys, Rich Dad Poor Dad... experiment to see what makes you the most satisfied.
As for attire -- you should really be asking the people who are either your peers, bosses, or boss's boss. There might be standards in the office, ask around. Especially if you're shy.
I've heard a lot from my gf that there are lots of accommodations made to people these days about anxiety and social shyness... "Back in my day", it was always that part of being in an office meant you needed to learn how to talk to, act, and operate in an office setting... so consider this your time to learn! I Apologize if I sound insensitive, but... learning soft skills and people skills is not only important in the office or around finding jobs, but it sets us apart from the machines - our emotions and consideration of others (empathy) is one of our greatest strengths! In this time of rising AI, we need to get back to being more human.
Congrats on being introduced to finding out if you like working with the people you work with. This could lead to happy hours after work, making friends even, and going to events with colleagues that makes things a little bit less painful than going by yourself, haha!
Thank you for your thoughtful response, Sean! I really appreciate the insights you've shared. Lately, I've been focused on investing in my personal development, particularly in areas like personal finance. I plan to make the most of my commute by reading some books on areas I'm looking to level-up in.
On my first day, I’ll definitely ask around and observe to get a sense of the office dress code and other norms. I’ve heard from friends who work in hybrid or in-office settings that business casual is pretty standard, but I was also curious to hear what others in the dev.to community wear. Honestly, I'm looking forward to shopping for a few new professional pieces to add to my wardrobe!
I’m also excited about the chance to connect with my team and meet other junior developers, especially since my company recently hired a new cohort. Like you said, it would be great to grab lunch or dinner together or find shared hobbies we can enjoy as a group—it sounds like a fun way to build connections 🤩
Lots of useful tips in the comments! My 2 cents:
fatigue from commuting:Try out different commuting ways and find out what works best for you! It really depends where you live and what you like. For example for a +-1 hour commute, I've tried different things:
If you’ve ever felt awkward or shy in the officeTreat it as any other social activity. Don't overthink it. Just be you (unless your normal you is an as****e, then just dont).
What’s typical attire like for engineering teams these days?It really depends on the company and culture but in general just t-shirt and jeans. A but more "formal" approach: Blazer, t-shirt and jeans. But it also depends on what you feel comfortable wearing, since being comfortable with that gives you confidence.
Do you usually pack your lunch, or grab something near the office?I normally grab something from restaurants around the office, it's one less thing to worry about in my daily routine.
Good luck in your new job!! You'll rock it.
And now, a mini rant about this wave of RTO policies:
Yes, there are some roles, teams, and companies where being in the office might make sense, but for a lot of teams, it’s just nonsense. There’s no universal case for or against office/hybrid/remote setups, because it all depends on the business, the structure, and the work itself. I’ve seen plenty of tech teams thriving under a remote setup, with people happily engaged and super productive. And then some “upper management” steps in and decides they want everyone back in the office without even understanding how these teams work day-to-day.
If you’re going to force people back to the office, you better have a really really good reason, because:
a) You’re making people waste 2+ hours of theirlifeon commuting, not to mention their energy.
b) Productivity could go down—more distractions, harder to focus, and the office isn’t ideal for everyone.
c) You’ll probably lose some folks.
d) In general, your employees are going to be more tired (and probably more resentful, too).
Sure, there are people who love going in, get energized from seeing their coworkers IRL, or live close by and don’t mind the commute and wearing noise cancelling headphones the whole day. But others don't. And there's plenty of remote first choices in the industry.
So, if you’re gonna push RTO without a solid justification, just know you’re risking a lot more than a few annoyed devs: you’re risking the very productivity you say you want to improve. Plus, nobody wants to deal with thoseoffice energy vampires.
-- end of the mini rant:P
Thanks so much for your advice! I agree with finding things to look forward to do around/near the office after work - I've already been looking at hitting up some shops I normally wouldn't frequent without already being in the city. 🤩
Regarding the wave ofRTO policies,I watched a good video recently by the channelHow Money Worksthat goes into some of the motivations behind it. TLDR it seems like companies need to make cuts to their costs in order to maximize revenue, and forcing a RTO is one way to achieve higher staff turnover, so they get the benefits of layoffs without actually having to lay people off. Also, being locked into 5-10 year office lease contracts means they might as well force employees back into the office anyways, despite the clearly documented negative impacts on productivity and efficiency. Worth a watch if you're curious, but yes I completely agree a lot of companiesdo nothave a solid justification for RTO, and it's a frustrating trend.
They have some good points there too, thanks for sharing!
I worked in an office from 2012-2017. I've been fully remote since 2017. So I'm a little out-of-practice at office-ing. But that's how I started my career so in my mind it's still just a normal thing.
How do you handle the fatigue from commuting?
I used to not like driving (I feel better about it now) soliving close to workwas my solution for this. I had an easy, 7-8 minute drive to work. If I work in an office again, I'll definitely try to live close to it. Within walking distance even, if possible. I rent, so it wouldn't be too hard for me to move close to a new workplace.
If you’ve ever felt awkward or shy in the office, how did you overcome it?
Unless you're really pathologically shy, I think you'll overcome it naturally given some time. You can't be around people 40 hours per week for very long without warming up to them. I think this is easier in-person than remote, at least for me. Having to use a mic and camera to communicate adds more friction and makes things more awkward for me.
What’s typical attire like for engineering teams these days?
Generally just regular street clothes, whatever you would normally wear. It depends on the company to some extent but that was even the case when I worked at a 50 year old company with 10,000 employees. Some departments like marketing dressed more nicely, and a lot of older and higher-ranking engineers did too, but all the engineers fresh out of college (like me at the time) wore shorts and t-shirts.
I'd suggest business casual for your first day or two until you know what everyone else is doing. Better to overdress than underdress. I'd wear a polo shirt and jeans probably.
Do you usually pack your lunch, or grab something near the office?
I always packed a lunch but I had diary restrictions and also wanted to save money. The company I worked for had a cafeteria that was pretty good (and inexpensive), so most employees ate there.
I really wish I could live closer to work, I'm not a big fan of commuting and waking up earlier for it, but unfortunately renting in Toronto (especially without roommates) is just too expensive.
Definitely will wear business casual for the first few days until I learn what the 'dress code' is like for the other engineers in the office and in my team.
Noise cancelling headphones. Especially if your office is going with the increasing popular "open space" concept.
Yeah that's a good idea, I’m definitely going to bring headphones to work to block out that noise.
@martinbaunDo they cancel noise in our head?
I use "white noise" for that for sure - so technically, yup haha.
Haha perfect:P
I worked 100% in office for many years, though I mostly had more-or-less walkable commutes. So I tried to make sure to walk relatively regularly (weather permitting) and even when driving, vary the route sometimes when possible just to keep things vaguely interesting. But ultimately it's unfortunately a case of "just get used to it" I'm afraid.
In terms of shyness/awkwardness - I'm still not great at this not gonna lie. Food is great for starting conversations: e.g. at lunch time "your lunch smells nice, what have you got?".
I think attire varies a lot based on the company, personally I tend to go fairly smart/smart-casual for first day (as a man, chinos + polo or something like that) and then judge it from there based on what others are wearing, or just ask the hiring manager what the expectation is.
Again for lunch options, bringing it from home will save you $$$ but it may get in the way of some of the socialising etc - personally I tend to bring food from home when I'm organised, or just pop to a local supermarket or whatever when I'mnotorganised (although there's a well-stocked kitchen at the office where I work right now which is really nice, so I often just make a sandwich or bagel or whatever with ingredients from the office).
I think something that's easy to say but less easy to do sometimes is "just don't overthink it too much" - most people are not going to notice what you're eating, wearing, etc they're just trying to get on with their day! So just do whatever you're comfortable with and be willing/open minded to try different options and you'll be fine!
At my place we now have a hybrid schedule of Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday we must be in office.
How do you handle the fatigue from commuting?
Well, I, personally, enjoy driving and listening to the music or radio. My 30 to 40 min commute is not a problem. I leave home later in the morning, and leave work a little bit later too to avoid the traffic. If you have to take a public transportation use this time to relax and definitely do nothing work related. You don't get paid for it.
If you’ve ever felt awkward or shy in the office, how did you overcome it?
Be polite and don't afraid to speak up if you think it's important. Always ask questions, but try to find the answer by other means first.
What’s typical attire like for engineering teams these days?
When I started my career 24 years ago, it was full business attire - suit and tie. Then it all went down the drain... I would say dress professionally, at least for a first day, and look around what others are wearing. Usually it's business casual, slacks, polo shirt, and shoes. Something you would be comfortable wearing. I work for a huge company and our SVP wears jeans and sneakers... With a dress shirt... I usually wear polo, cargo pants, and dark sneakers.
Do you usually pack your lunch, or grab something near the office?
I do pack my lunch when we have leftovers 90% and we have full Cafeteria on site plus a coffee bar. I'm trying to stay away from cafeteria food but if I don't have lunch, then I'll buy it. I usually eat at my desk while I'm working as I go for a walk during regular lunch time 12-1. Going out for lunch usually means you have to drive somewhere, there is no restaurants on campus except in the summer when there are food trucks come on schedule.
Going back to the office certainly has advantages and disadvantages. The biggest problem is definitely commute fatigue for me, 30 minute drive feels like two hours with the stop and go traffic.
Most people that are in the office are cracked on coffee or sugar or something. People told me that all this would pass and I should commute anyways, but both times I was fired after being slammed with tight deadlines and extremely vague requirements. (Edit: and yes there are also energy vampires)
I'm sure glad I'm not returning to the office anytime soon. My first recommendation would be to try and avoid even accepting an in-office position. There are stilla lotof remote-only roles. If enough people focus on the remote roles, eventually companies that are forcing in-office work will realize they're not able to attract the best talent, and will be forced to allow WFH. Of course, beggars can't be choosers, and sometimes an in-office job is your best option.
That said, most of my career has been in an office, so here are a few suggestions I have.
Commute:Ifyou're able to commute via public transit, do it. It's so much nicer to be able to sit and read a book or game or whatever you enjoy. And you'll probably have a small part of your commute that requires a bit of walking anyway, and having a little bit of walking can be nice for your physical and mental health.
If you have to drive yourself, find some podcasts or audiobooks you enjoy. It'll be much better than just listening to music on your drive, especially if you have a very long commute (I had an hour drive, each way, for many years).
Lunch:Try an mix it up a bit. Sometimes pack a lunch, and sometimes go out. One thing I did that I enjoyed, but I've never seen anyone else do, is I kept several lunch foods that I could store in drawers in my desk (not requiring refrigeration) and made my own lunch at work in the kitchen. I actually liked that a lot more than packing a lunch.
Attire:Almost all of the companies I've worked at allowed casual attire for devs. I would wear shorts (or jeans, as some companies didn't allow shorts) and a t-shirt every day. But, check with your company.