Hard Time on Planet Earth

Hard Time on Planet Earthis an Americanscience fictiontelevision series that aired onCBSas amidseason replacementfrom March 1 to June 21, 1989.Airing for 13 episodes, the series starredMartin Kove;it was created byJimandJohn Thomas,whose previous collaborations includeThe Rescueas well as thePredatorfranchise. Scheduled oppositeNBC'sUnsolved MysteriesandABC'sGrowing Painson Wednesdays,Hard Time on Planet Earthranked 65th out of 81 programs upon its premiere.Ratings for the series never improved and the series was canceled by CBS in May 1989.

Hard Time on Planet Earth
Intertitle
Genre	Science fiction
Created by	Jim Thomas John Thomas
Starring	Martin Kove
Voices of	Danny Mann
Composer	Joseph Conlan
Country of origin	United States
Original language	English
No.of seasons	1
No.of episodes	13
Production
Executive producers	Richard Chapman E. Jack Kaplan Jim Thomas John Thomas
Producers	Janice Cooke-Leonard Michael Piller Ric Rondell
Cinematography	Fred J. Koenekamp
Running time	44 minutes
Production companies	Demos-Bard/Shanachie Productions Touchstone Television
Original release
Network	CBS
Release	March 1(1989-03-01)– June 21, 1989(1989-06-21)

Synopsis

The main character was an alien Elite Military Officer (Kove) who served in a huge interplanetary war. After the war ended, he was prosecuted for a rebellion against the planet's ruling Council; he was found guilty, but in recognition of his valuable services in the war, he was given the chance to reform by spending an undetermined amount of time in a vastly underpowered human form on planet Earth.

Along with him was dispatched Control (voiced byDanny Mann), a small floating robot in the form of a mechanical eye with the mission of overseeing Jesse (the earthly name adopted by the alien warrior, from the name tag on the first Earth clothes he wore) to make sure Jesse kept his violent behavior in check. Control also providedcomic reliefto the series, usually by assessing the events with the catchphrase "Negative outcome. Not good."

Each episode followed Jesse as he reluctantly helped different people in need. He derives much of his information fromtelevision shows,giving him a skewed sense of Earth culture. At first, Jesse only helped those in need to earn Control's approval in order to put an end to his exile, but he slowly became fond of the goodness he encountered from some of Earth's people.

Reception

Most critics detested the series.According toPeoplemagazine, "About 20,000RPM—that's how fast I reckonWalt Disneymust be spinning in his grave with shows like this on the air… It is just one long, bad commercial. "

Episodes

No.	Title	Directed by	Written by	Original air date	U.S. viewers (millions)
1	"Stranger in a Strange Land"	Robert Mandel	Jim Thomas&John Thomas	March 1, 1989(1989-03-01)	13.0
The alien, who takes on the earthly name Jesse (Martin Kove), arrives on Earth. He steals some clothes from an emptygas stationand watches some television to learn about Earth's culture. Thepolicenotice him there and, confused by his actions, open fire on him. Jesse escapes by stealing a truck and driving away. But in the process he loses a crystal which grants him above-average powers. The police eventually corner him on theVincent Thomas Bridge,so he jumps. In violation of his programming, Control rescues him. Later, inLos Angeles,Jesse witnesses the robbery of ajewelrystore and intervenes. He has realized that the only way to leave Earth is to obey his charge: to help the people of this planet.
2	"Something to Bank On"	Roger Duchowny	Richard Chapman & E. Jack Kaplan	March 8, 1989(1989-03-08)	14.7
Jesse finds himself in need of money. Control discovers thatATMsdispense money, so he empties several and Jesse takes the money. However, a woman witnesses him doing so and reports him to the police. He acquires ahotelroom and soon after agrifterapproaches him with a sob story. Jesse willingly gives him $50,000. Later Jesse sees a news report about the ATM robberies and realizes that he has done wrong. He takes the money back to the bank where he is arrested. Thepolicegrill him about the missing $50,000. Eventually he becomes frustrated and breaks out of jail. With the help of the jailpsychologist(Jamie Rose), Jesse recovers the money and returns it. But despite her pleas, he refuses to remand himself back into police custody.
3	"Losing Control"	Michael Lange	Bruce Cervi	March 15, 1989(1989-03-15)	12.7
Jesse and Control go toDisneyland.While there, Control tries to play severalarcade gamesat once and short circuits. A child finds the unconscious Control and takes him home. When the police prove unwilling to help, Jesse enlists the help of a femalereporter.The child's father investigates Control's strange properties using a computer. Eventually theU.S. governmentgets involved over fears that Control is part of some sort ofnuclearwarfare. The child receives a message from Control about Jesse and runs away to try to find him, but is caught by his father and the police. Jesse sneaks into the government lab where they are experimenting on Control and rescues him. He takes Control back to Disneyland where he uses theelectricityfrom the arcade games to revive him. A police desk officer is portrayed byKen Jenkins.
4	"The Way Home"	Timothy Bond	Michael Piller	March 22, 1989(1989-03-22)	14.2
Jesse defends an old man from some local toughs and is rewarded with a job mowing lawns. He meets a young girl (Darcy Marta) who has been kicked out of her parents' house in an attempt to show her "tough love".Jesse soon learns that she is involved in a criminal teen subculture where two crookedpoliceofficers help the kids rob from rich people. Jesse sees that she's in over her head. He tries to mediate between her and her parents so that she can come home, but she's still unwilling to abide by their rules. Angered by her parents' refusal to loosen their rules, the girl informs the corrupt policemen that her father is carrying industrial gradediamonds.Jesse, bearing a peace offering from her parents, finds the young girl and she realizes what she's done. Jesse intervenes, saving the family and the diamonds, and helping to catch the corrupt officers.
5	"All That You Can Be"	Roger Duchowny	Bruce Cervi &Nicholas Corea	March 29, 1989(1989-03-29)	15.4
Unable to find a job anywhere else, Jesse joins theUnited States Army.Control has misgivings, but agrees so that he'll have something positive to report. The recruiter,SergeantStriker (Marshall Bell), eager to take some time off, fabricates a false history for Jesse and assigns him to take his place at Fort Drake. To help Jesse acclimate more quickly, Control shows him videos ofJohn Wayne,whom he identifies as an ideal warrior within Earth culture. At Fort Drake, Jesse is put in charge of the under-performing Bravo Team. He inspires the Bravos to perform better as soldiers and as a unit. When Corporal Curtis Tillman (Larry B. Scott) runs into trouble with his oldstreet gang,the Striders, Jesse intervenes. In the midst of amilitary exercise,the Striders break into Fort Drake with Tillman's help in order to steal weapons. Jesse diverts Bravo Team and saves the day. At the end of the episode, he is given an honorable discharge. Note: This episode marks a miniCobra Kaireunion between Martin Kove and Larry B. Scott, who portrayed Sensei John Kreese and student Jerry Robertson, respectively.
6	"Battle of the Sexes"	Michael Lange	Bruce Cervi	April 5, 1989(1989-04-05)	12.3
An extraterrestrial from Jesse's world, sent toassassinatehim, arrives on Earth and takes the form of a female human being (Sandahl Bergman). Meanwhile, Jesse is working at a diner. The owner (Paul Comi) is falling on hard times, but is unwilling to take advice from his daughter (Lycia Naff). And the owner's son (Mark Thomas Miller), whom he intends to take over the restaurant, would rather pursue a career inmusic.The daughter discovers that the sons of her father's business associate are cheating them and they get into a fight with Jesse over it. Later Jesse meets the assassin at acluband they have a few dates. The sons of the father's business associate bring agangand attack Jesse, but he defeats them. The father's business associate (Al Ruscio) discovers his sons' misdeeds and rectifies the situation, validating the daughter. Jesse discovers the assassin's identity and defeats it usingelectricityfromplasma globeshe noticed earlier that week at aplanetarium.
7	"Death Do Us Part"	Charles Correll	Michael Piller & Ed Zuckerman	April 12, 1989(1989-04-12)	12.1
Jesse appears onThe All New Dating Gameand is chosen by the contestant, Jane (Lise Hilboldt). They go on a date funded by thegame show.Jesse wants to avoid a commitment and worries about how to end the date, but Jane admits that she's already met someone else, named Michael (Tim Dunigan). She states her intention to find someone for Jesse and takes him back to her apartment to pick up her copy ofMatchmaker Magazine.Two thieves (one of whom is Michael) are in her apartment and Jesse rescues her, but the thieves escape. Michael continues dating Jane hoping to marry her and get hertrust fund.He and Jane try to set Jesse up on dates, with little success. Jesse spots Michael on adatewith another woman and tries to warn Jane, but she ignores him. Michael plants evidence implicating Jesse at the scene of their next burglary. At Michael and Jane'swedding,the police attempt to arrest Jesse but he escapes. He finds Michael and Jane on their honeymoon. Michael tries to kill Jane and make it look like Jesse did it, but Jesse foils the plan and rescues Jane.
8	"The Hot Dog Man"	James A. Contner	Rob Ulin	April 26, 1989(1989-04-26)	10.4
Jesse gets a job as ahot dogman at a localwrestlingring. When he witnesseswhat he thinks is an unfair fight,he enters the ring and defeats the other four wrestlers. The owners of the ring, Annie (Conchata Ferrell) and Sandra (Pamela Cummings), hire him and promote him as the Hotdog Man, and Jesse begins to learn the concept ofsports.Meanwhile, a local businessman is trying to buy thepropertywhere the ring is located. Annie and Sandra are unwilling to sell because the ring generates money to support ahalfway houseon the same property. Some thugs try to intimidate Jesse by mugging him in a back alley with a baseball bat and then by causing a light bank to fall on the ring during a televised match. Jesse confronts the businessman about it, only to learn that he's not involved. When a man, Jake (Richard Epcar) comes to get Annie's signature to sell the lease, the wrestlers attack him and he confesses that Sandra is behind everything. Sandra takes one of the children from the halfway house hostage, but Jesse and the other wrestlers use their unique skills to rescue him.
9	"Jesse'sFifteen Minutes"	Bill Corcoran	Michael Eric Stein	May 3, 1989(1989-05-03)	11.1
Jesse uses afire hydrantto rescue a woman, Donna (Rebecca Staab), who is amodel,beingcarjacked.She takes him to a party where theyphotographhim as ajoke,but he ends up getting a job as a model. Thus he is introduced to the concepts offashionandadvertising.Jesse's ascension angers another model, Zack (Brad Lockerman), who is trying to make acomeback.Some goons try, unsuccessfully, to take Jesse's life. Jesse investigates by breaking into Zack's apartment and discovers photographic evidence that Zack isblackmailingFred (Sandy Simpson), the man whomurderedDonna's brother and stole his designs. Fred sends four men to kill Jesse and Donna, but Jesse thwarts them and goes on to catch Fred and Zack.
10	"Rodeo"	Michael Lange	David Percelay &Van Gordon Sauter	May 10, 1989(1989-05-10)	9.6
After helping to stop a runawaystagecoachat acowboy-themedcar dealership,Jesse gets a job cleaning stables at a localrodeo.Herides a broncoand gets in abarfight.One of the cowboys, Travis (Grainger Hines), is getting old and doesn't feel like he can perform, anymore, so he quits and takes a job at the car dealership. Travis and Jesse discover that the owner, Buck (Michael Alldredge), has been stealing cars with atowtruckandselling them.Travis confronts Buck and accusing him of being no different than ahorse thief.Buck tries to escape, but Jesse and Travischase him downand Jesselassoshim.
11	"Not in Our Stars"	Al Waxman	Rob Swigart	May 31, 1989(1989-05-31)	9.9
The episode starts with Jesse running throughswampsandforestswhile being chased and shot at by aSWATteam. Jesse is picked up by a spaceship where it is revealed that it was Jesse's vice commander who ordered theassassinationof the Grand Elder, not Jesse. Then Jesse wakes up on a bus to learn that it was only adream.Control ridicules Jesse for believing his dream and is unable to contact the Council, so Jesse investigates on his own. He seeks out auniversityprofessorwho is working on communicating withextraterrestrials.Jesse designs amicrochipthat will make possiblefaster-than-light communicationso that he can use theirradio telescopeto try to contact the Council. The professor and a security team try to take the chip. When Jesse resists, he is shot and eventually captured. Jesse wakes up in ahospitaland flees. He manages to recover the chip before the professor can use it—Earth is not ready for contact with extraterrestrials. Rather than risk it being used, Jesse destroys the chip, giving up his chance for absolution.
12	"The All American"	Roger Duchowny	Michael Piller	June 14, 1989(1989-06-14)	10.8
When a woman falls in front of abus,Jesse rushes to help, but a high schoolstudent,Bill (Doug Johnson), gets there first and pushes the bus out of the way. Jesse follows him to thehigh schoolwhere he takes a job as asubstitute teacher.When one of Bill's friends nearly falls off the high school building, Jesse rescues him, revealing his powers to Bill in the process. Bill admits that he was part of acoupfrom within the Council and that he was placed on Earth eighteen years ago in the body of an infant. Billy's Control and Jesse's Control try to prevent them from having contact with each other. Bill plans to go toHarvard,become alawyer,and eventually become thePresident of the United States.When Bill resorts to violence to further these ends, Jesse breaks ties with him, so Bill frames him. Jesse escapes from the police and fights with Bill. He convinces Bill to give up his ambition and when he does, Bill passes hisfinal testand is taken home.
13	"Wally's Gang"	Ric Rondell	Richard Chapman & E. Jack Kaplan	June 21, 1989(1989-06-21)	8.8
After twenty-five years of running his ownchildren's program,Wally (Gordon Jump)is given his two-weeks' notice.Devastated, he tries to commitsuicideby jumping from the building, but Jesse intervenes. Consequently, Jesse gets a job on the show. One of the features on the show is awishing well,which Jesse takes literally. When one of the kids, Timmy (Brandon Bluhm), writes in a wish that his father will be protected from beingmurdered,Jesse and Wally decide to investigate. Jesse finds Timmy's dad inwitness protectionbut, misunderstanding, attacks themarshalsand Timmy's dad runs away. Jesse and Wally find Timmy's dad, again, but this time they've been followed bythe Mob.Jesse prevents them fromkidnappingTimmy's father and hands them over to the police. At the end it is implied that Jesse has fulfilled his directive and may now return home.

External links

• Hard Time on Planet EarthatIMDb
• Hard Time on Planet Earthatepguides.com