Yoga Hosers

Yoga Hosersis a 2016 Americancomedy horrorfilm written and directed byKevin Smith.It is aspin-offof Smith's 2014 horror filmTuskand stars Smith's daughterHarley Quinn Smith,Lily-Rose Depp,and her father,Johnny Depp.The second film in Smith'sTrue Northtrilogy,it had its world premiere on January 24 at the2016 Sundance Film Festivalbefore being released on September 2, 2016, by Invincible Pictures. The film was a commercial flop and was panned by critics, who viewed it as a low point in Smith's career.

Yoga Hosers
Theatrical release poster
Directed by	Kevin Smith
Written by	Kevin Smith
Produced by	Liz Destro Jordan Monsanto Jennifer Schwalbach
Starring	Lily-Rose Depp Harley Quinn Smith Vanessa Paradis Austin Butler Tyler Posey Johnny Depp
Cinematography	James Laxton
Edited by	Kevin Smith
Music by	Christopher Drake
Production companies	StarStream Media Abbolita Films XYZ Films Destro Films SModcast Pictures
Distributed by	Invincible Pictures
Release dates	January 24, 2016(2016-01-24)(Sundance Film Festival) September 2, 2016(2016-09-02)(United States)
Running time	88 minutes
Country	United States
Language	English
Budget	$5 million
Box office	$38,784

Plot

Colleen Collette and Colleen McKenzie are two 15-year-old girls who spend their days studyingyogawith their guru, Yogi Bayer, and working an after-school job at aManitobaconvenience store called Eh-2-Zed. They are also in a cover band called Glamthrax with their 35-year-old friend Ichabod on drums. The two are invited to a party by a popular senior, Hunter Calloway, who is the object of Colleen M's affections.

The next day at school, the girls' history teacher informs the class that theNazi Partyonce had influence inWinnipeg.Led by the self-proclaimed "CanadianFührer"Adrien Arcandand his right-hand man, Andronicus Arcane, theCanadian Naziswere once a great force of terror. Arcand was later arrested by Federal authorities, but Andronicus Arcane was never found.

Colleen C's father Bob, who owns the Eh-2-Zed, and his girlfriend Tabitha, the store's manager, decide to take a spontaneous trip toNiagara Falls,leaving the girls to run the store on the night of Hunter's party. The Colleens invite Hunter and his friend Gordon Greenleaf to bring the party to the store so that they would not miss out. Colleen M escorts Hunter to the back room at his request, only to discover that Hunter and Gordon are actuallySatanistswho wish to sacrifice and dismember the Colleens. Before this can occur, an army of little monsters called Bratzis (one-foot-tall Nazis made frombratwurst) attack and kill Hunter and Gordon. Using their yoga skills, the Colleens fight and defeat the Bratzis, but are soon arrested for the murder of Hunter and Gordon.

Legendary man-hunter Guy LaPointe, who had anencounter with the Colleens once before,arrives at the police station to interrogate the girls. Having obtained some of his own evidence of the Bratzis, he believes the girls' testimony and wishes to help them prove their innocence. After sneaking them out of the station and taking them back to the Eh-2-Zed, LaPointe and the Colleens are knocked unconscious by the Bratzis. They are taken to an underground lair beneath the store where they find the Bratzis' master, Andronicus Arcane.

Arcane reveals to LaPointe and the Colleens that he once had dreams of becoming an artist. After having his work ridiculed by various critics, he decided to become a scientist for the Canadian Nazi movement. The Nazis hid him in the underground lair to create a clone army to conquer Canada and the United States. The clones, made from bratwurst and Arcane's DNA, needed to incubate for 100 years before they were fully grown, so Arcane cryogenically froze himself until the time when he and his clones could rise again. This process was interrupted when a power outage at the Eh-2-Zed 70 years later caused Arcane to thaw and the clones' incubation to stop, rendering them just one foot in height. Learning that the Nazi Party had long since been defeated, Arcane began a new mission to kill all critics as revenge for those that poorly reviewed his early work. He reveals he has constructed a ten-foot-tallgoaltenderfrom body parts of the Bratzis' victims to carry out his murderous deeds. This "Goalie Golem" is controlled by the Bratzis who operate it from its insides. No longer wishing to follow Arcane's orders, the Golem kills him and then turns on the Colleens. The Colleens once again use their yoga skills to defeat the Golem and soon after, clear their names.

After being dubbed "Hero Clerks" by the media, the Colleens return to their normal lives and end the film with a cover of "O Canada",accompanied on guitar by Guy LaPointe.

Cast

• Lily-Rose Deppas Colleen Collette
• Harley Quinn Smithas Colleen McKenzie
• Johnny Deppas Guy LaPointe
• Justin Longas Yogi Bayer
• Austin Butleras Hunter Calloway
• Adam Brodyas Ichabod
• Ralph Garmanas Andronicus Arcane
• Tony Haleas Bob Collette
• Natasha Lyonneas Tabitha
• Haley Joel OsmentasAdrien Arcand
• Vanessa Paradisas Ms. Maurice
• Tyler Poseyas Gordon Greenleaf
• Genesis Rodriguezas Ms. Wicklund
• Jennifer Schwalbachas Ms. McKenzie
• Sasheer Zamataas Principal Invincible
• Harley Morensteinas Toilet Paper Man
• Ashley Greene as 'Peg Mom
• Jack Depp as 'Peg Kid
• Jason Mewesas Rogue Cop
• Kevin Smithas The Bratzis
• Kevin Conroyas Canadian Bat, Man!
• Stan Leeas Dispatcher

Production

Smith revealed before the release ofTuskthat he had written a spin-off film calledYoga Hosers,which would feature the cast fromTusk.

The title came from a remarkScott Mosiermade during an early 2014 segment ofSModcast,thepodcasthe cohosts with Smith. Smith brought up fanciful quotes attributed to Simon Metke, anEdmontonyogainstructor whose home had recently been raided by theRoyal Canadian Mounted Police(RCMP), who recoveredan artwork stolen fromtheMontreal Museum of Fine Artsin 2011 there. Mosier imagined the RCMP saying "Open up, yogahoser!"as they knocked on the door. After it became acatchphraseamong the podcast's listeners, Smith announced it would be the title of his next film. The character of Yogi Bayer in the film is also based on descriptions of Metke in the media.

In August 2014, it was revealedYoga Hoserswould be an action-adventure, and the second in theTrue Northtrilogy.The film includes the entire cast ofTusk,including Depp's daughter Lily-Rose and Smith's daughter Harley Quinn, starring in their reprised roles as clerks.Tony Hale,Natasha Lyonne,Austin Butler,Adam Brody,Tyler Posey,andJason Mewesalso appear.StarStream Entertainment helped finance and produce the film, while XYZ Films co-produced.In September 2014, it was revealedHaley Joel OsmentandGenesis Rodriguezhad joined the cast as well,and it was later revealed Kevin Smith would portray a bratzi.Comic book writerStan Leehad acameo appearance,his second in a Smith film, after 1995'sMallrats.Thomas Ashley put up 25% of the equity to create the film and was an executive producer.

Filming

Smith announced on August 20, 2014, that filming had begun,and on September 18, 2014, he stated onSModcast#308 that he had wrapped three quarters of the film, and would finish the last quarter once Depp is available.Principal photography concluded in January 2015.

Release

The film had its world premiere at the2016 Sundance Film Festivalon January 24.A tie-in comic book was also given out exclusively at the Sundance premiere. Written by Kevin Smith and illustrated by Jeff Quigley,Yoga Hosers: When Colleens Collidetells the story of how the girls met and became friends.Later in 2017,Dynamite Entertainmentreprinted this special issue for release to comic stores.In April 2016, Invincible Pictures acquired US distribution rights to the film, and initially planned a July 29, 2016, release.The film was later pushed back to September 2.

Reception

If you were to tell me amidnight moviewas coming out that was a cross betweenClueless,a second-rateGremlinsknock-off, the1966Batman,Strange Brew,andClerks,I would have said, 'Wow, that sounds great!' If you were to tell me that the same film was written and directed by Smith, however, my response would change to, 'Wow, that sounds terrible!'

—Nathan Rabin,The A.V. Club

Yoga Hoserswas panned by critics, who considered it a low point in Smith's film career. OnRotten Tomatoes,the film has a rating of 26%, based on 62 reviews, with an average rating of 3.70/10. The site's critical consensus reads, "Undisciplined, unfunny, and bereft of evident purpose,Yoga Hosersrepresents a particularly grating low point in Kevin Smith's once-promising career. "OnMetacritic,the film holds a rating of 23 out of 100, based on 17 critics, indicating "generally unfavorable reviews".

Justin Chang ofVarietydisliked the film, writing that

Harley Quinn Smith and especially Lily-Rose Depp have sufficient spunk, spark and chemistry (and they're charming bopping through an end-credits cover of "O Canada") that you long to see them in a starring vehicle that doesn't look and feel like an on-screen underwear stain. Shot and edited with the sort of willful slovenliness that presumably fits the anything-goes grab-bag effect Smith was going for,Yoga Hoserslooks as though it was probably pretty fun to make, though only the director's hardcore fans and SModcast listeners are likely to find that pleasure in any way infectious.

John DeFore ofThe Hollywood Reporteralso gave the film a negative review, writing that "the young leads seem to be having fun even if you aren't, but any acting careers they might go on to will not be the result of this film."

Korey ColemanofDoubleToasted.comexpressed strong criticism for the film, stating that it was the worst movie he had seen in years.He also felt Smith's privilege in obtaining funding for the film was an insult to aspiring filmmakers who struggle to even get a foot in the door of the industry.He placed it at the #1 spot for the worst movie of 2016, tying withFifty Shades of Black.

In an extended review forThe A.V. Clubin 2017,Nathan Rabinsummed up the film as a "fiasco", blaming "self-indulgence" and "laziness" leading to "Smith combin[ing] what are clearly his two great loves in life: family and making terrible comedies. It's a beautiful thing when a man is able to fuse his personal and professional life this way. It's just a shame the result is borderline unwatchable."

Spin-off

Kevin Smith has said that hisTrue Northtrilogy will conclude with a film titledMoose Jaws,which he describes as "Jawswith a moose ".Smith revealed that the Colleens will return forMoose Jaws.

External links

• Yoga HosersatIMDb
• Yoga HosersatRotten Tomatoes