It took a long time for me to get, and stay, pregnant. So when it was finally my turn to make a baby registry, I was over the moon but also a little too focused on the fantasy of early motherhood rather than the reality of what was about to happen. By the time my second trimester rolled around, I had already read all of the Strategist’s baby recommendations and every edition of “How I’d Redo My Registry.” I spent hours messaging friends and family to discuss the pros and cons of different high chairs, strollers, and changing tables. I even met up with friends who had babies just so I could push their strollers and take tours of their nurseries. I Googled “glider for small spaces” about a million times. And I obsessed over finding a diaper bag that my husband would want to carry.
I thought I was prepared, but the truth is it’s impossible to be prepared. I expected my experience to mirror my friends’. Because many of their first babies were born late, I thought my baby would be too. But my son, Arlo, was born over a month early, and he was born very small. A lot of what I had put on my registry, including a radish-shaped teether and a five-pack of musical egg shakers, was very cute but felt totally impractical. The things I got right were the most straightforward and not the most exciting products to buy: a Keekaroo Peanut changing pad (which I do highly recommend) and a Nuna Pipa car seat.
Now, 14 months into the experience, I finally (mostly) have the best, most functional version of everything. If I could talk to my past self, I would tell her to spend more time getting ready to breastfeed and less time worrying about pacifiers, baby toys, and diaper bags — the best one for us is just a big tote bag with a bunch of smaller bags and pouches inside. I would also recommend asking not just for baby things but also a few small luxury items for the time spent in the hospital, plus a lot of comfortable underwear.
Arlo spent his first three days in the transitional nursery, which is one step away from the NICU. I was able to give him small amounts of breast milk right away even though we were not together. But he needed to gain weight as fast as possible, so the nurses also gave him formula. My husband, Jacob, and I were happy that he took a bottle and ate well. But we didn’t like the hospital’s brand of formula because it contained filler ingredients like corn syrup. So we immediately started researching alternatives.
Bobbie is what we ended up using for the whole first year of his life. It’s manufactured in the United States but modeled after European formula brands, so it’s made with organic grass-fed cow’s milk and no corn syrup or added palm oil. A lot of big-brand formulas have ingredients lists that read like fast food, and if you taste them (I did) they don’t taste good or anything like breast milk (I tasted that too). But Bobbie tastes good and pretty close to the real thing. We had a subscription, which made it so easy even when we wanted to change our order or cancel it at a moment’s notice. Most important, Arlo loves it.
I majorly underestimated how difficult breastfeeding would be, and I didn’t expect to have to start pumping immediately after Arlo was born. So the flanges I started with were just whatever the nurses gave me at the hospital. Later on, I used the flanges that came with the Spectra S2 pump I got through insurance. The pump is great, and I still prefer it to all of the other ones I have tried. The flanges not so much. These angled flanges from PumpinPals, which came as part of a pack that included small silicone ones as well, were recommended by a lactation specialist I saw a few weeks postpartum, and they changed everything for me. I had a C-section, so sitting up straight was painful. But most flanges are designed to be used while you’re sitting in an upright position, if not slightly leaning forward. In contrast, these allow you to lean back while you pump but still create a downward angle for the milk to flow with gravity so you catch every drop. It’s a small detail that made a huge difference for me. Once I switched, I was more comfortable. Because I was comfortable, I was also more relaxed, and my body could concentrate on making more milk.
I tried so many uncomfortable and confusing pumping and nursing bras before finding these. Most pumping bras are bulky and exceptionally unstylish, so I would only wear one when I was actually pumping. But the Bodily bras look and feel just like the no-underwire bras I preferred wearing pre-pregnancy. They are soft enough to sleep in but also hold up well enough that they don’t look ratty after a few washes. And because I like wearing them in general, I was finally able to wear one bra all the time for everything. I have friends who found them too soft to support their flanges. But while they aren’t as sturdy as other pumping bras, they worked well with the Pumpinpal flanges and never affected the amount of milk I got. In fact, they made pumping easier for me, especially after I went back to work and didn’t have time to change bras several times a day.
I wish I had had this from the beginning, because it would have encouraged me to leave the house sooner. It’s basically a thermos for breast milk with a cold pack that screws into the lid and glass storage jars that connect to your pump. I looked into the Ceres breast-milk chiller as well but found that the Mila’s Keeper is more convenient because you don’t have to mess with ice cubes to keep it cold and you can see how much milk you have in the glass bottles. It makes the whole process of pumping at work, or at a wedding, or at your in-laws’ house so much less annoying and more discreet. And even without the rest of the set, the glass storage bottles have been a really useful accessory for storing milk in the fridge at home.
Because of where the surgeon made my C-section incision, bikini-style underwear is still pretty uncomfortable, and I prefer to wear high-cut pairs. The underwear I wore during pregnancy is as grandma panty as you can get. But these are sleek and comfortable and pretty sexy, like a high-waisted bathing-suit bottom that shows off a little cheek. Plus they are made of organic cotton.
This is the one instance where I wish I had gone with my gut and chosen the more stylish option over the one I thought would be more functional. I put the (Strat-recommended) Skip Hop travel changing pad on my registry and, through a bit of confusion, I received two of them. But were I to do it over again, I would ask for this on-the-go set from Pehr. It’s not that the Skip Hop one is bad, it’s just not padded and it has extra compartments that I don’t need. I find Pehr’s combination of a softer, cushier changing pad that can hold a few diapers and wipes plus a pouch for everything else much easier to use. The the color and pattern options are also much, much better.
Speaking of soft, Mori pajamas are made from a blend of bamboo and organic cotton that I would describe as marshmallowy. They feel so cozy and wash incredibly well, and Arlo sleeps best when he is wearing them. They also have the best kind of fastener: a two-way zipper that makes middle-of-the-night changes faster and easier by giving you localized tushy access.
We used a Snoo bassinet, but initially Arlo was too small for the rocking and vibration settings. So we put him to bed with a combination of white noise and a Spotify yoga/meditation playlist. That playlist became my go-to music, aside from some off-key singing, for his bedtime routine until he was about 6 months old. That’s when we started using this instead because we needed a night light and, as a bonus this, had lullabies too. Surprisingly, it has become a major part of every nap and every bedtime. It’s rechargeable, so you can easily travel with it, and the light can go from very bright for book-reading to very dim (or totally shut off) for actual sleep. You can choose from a rainbow of glowing colors and from a collection of 12 songs and sound effects. Once Arlo gets older, we’ll be able to set the colors to let him know when it’s time to get up or stay in bed a little longer.
I knew I wanted a compact stroller that I could carry up and down subway stairs and easily maneuver through museums. So after talking to my older brother and several new parent friends, I put the Yoyo stroller on my registry. It’s known for being one of the first strollers that will fit in the overhead compartment of a plane, as well as for being easy to fold and even carry tote-bag style over your shoulder. It is wonderful and everything I was looking for, but I didn’t consider the strain it would put on my wrists (I had a mean case of mommy’s wrist) after hours of walking Arlo through Prospect Park as he napped. The main drawback of the Yoyo is that it’s not an especially smooth stroller to push. When he was about 5 months old, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I got the Baby Jogger City Mini GT2, a stroller I had tried while walking with a fellow mom friend, and immediately felt a huge relief. Compared to the Yoyo, it is a much smoother ride, and it doesn’t require any effort to turn even with just one hand. Arlo likes it too, and he sleeps much better in its roomy full recline.
I am that annoying person who tells everyone they should try acupuncture as a potential cure for everything from headaches to IBS. While I was struggling to get pregnant, I started going to the Yinova Center and then ended up going weekly all the way through pregnancy and postpartum. During each session, I got to fall asleep to gentle music while the acupuncturist and her needles did their thing; the naps were a luxury in and of themselves. My acupuncturist became like a therapist, encouraging me to process my feelings around IVF and other stuff in my life at the time. And after Arlo was born, she helped me process my feelings about that experience, too, and helped make sure my C-section scar was healing well.
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