The Thrilling Adventure Hour: Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars Emperor of Mars (Season 5, Episode 5)
Podcast Episode | Comedy

The Thrilling Adventure Hour: Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars

Emperor of Mars (Season 5, Episode 5)

Podcast Episode | Comedy

Having just recently hired Bill Clover as the sheriff on Mars upon the orders of the Mars-Earth Coalition, Sparks asks Croach if he wants to write the report to reduce his onus or if Croach would like him to do it, since Sparks loves...See moreHaving just recently hired Bill Clover as the sheriff on Mars upon the orders of the Mars-Earth Coalition, Sparks asks Croach if he wants to write the report to reduce his onus or if Croach would like him to do it, since Sparks loves writing reports. Croach immediately begins being argumentative and badly using sarcasm to fight with Sparks about the issue. Sparks is confused about why they're fighting. Bill Clover enters the marshal station and adamantly declares that he doesn't want to be sheriff. Nobody explained to him that winning the quick-draw contest in Sheriff on Mars would result in being instilled as Sheriff. Bill never wanted to be sheriff, just to prove he's the quickest draw in town. Croach points out that Bill was the quickest draw among those who were allowed to enter the contest. Sparks thinks he's the exception Croach is mentioning, which annoys Croach. Sparks says the whole thing was the mayor's idea, and also tries to convince Bill he's going to be a great sheriff. Sparks says Bill is really quick on the draw, kindly, and even-tempered. Croach sarcastically points out that Bill can't detect the flying saucer landing outside, and The Marshal Station Doors confirms the presence of the flying saucer. Sparks, Croach, and Bill go outside and greet the alien emerging from their ship. The alien looks human, but isn't a human, and is wearing a one-piece silver jumpsuit. The alien introduces themselves as Emperor Yessel, and their robot as Gork. Yessel declares themselves the Emperor of Mars. Sparks points out to Bill that this is why the town needs a sheriff and makes Bill tell Yessel to get back in their star-craft and leave town or he'll show Yessel why it's such a bad idea to not obey. Yessel declines to leave and tells Gork to shoot Bill. Sparks encourages Bill to draw and shoot, but Bill panics, doesn't draw, and is shot and killed by Gork. Croach continues to object to Sparks' behavior until Sparks insists Croach tells him what they're fighting about. Croach reminds Sparks how he's been talking all day about how someone wasn't allowed to enter the quick-draw contest, and Sparks realizes that Croach has been talking about himself. Sparks asks if Croach wanted to be sheriff, but Croach says no, he didn't want to be sheriff, as holding human office would shame him. Croach merely wanted to be considered for the job, even though he'd turn the job down. Sparks apologizes sarcastically, which Croach thinks is sincere and accidentally responds sarcastically when he realizes Sparks' apology isn't sincere. Sparks then apologizes sincerely, which Croach accepts. Yessel, amused throughout the entire conversation, says they're glad they decided to emperor this planet. Sparks tells Yessel they're under arrest for landing without a permit and declaring themselves emperor. Croach also writes Yessel a citation, which Yessel accepts. Yessel then threatens to sic Gork on Sparks, but Sparks shoots and kills Yessel before they can tell Gork what to do. Gork panics without someone to give him a directive. Sparks orders Gork to be sheriff, which he accepts. Croach says Sparks is proving himself exceptional at his job and unexceptional and hurting the few feelings he possesses.Written by Thrilling Adventure Hour Wiki See less

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Cast	+ Add Cast
9 cast members

Name	Known for
Scott Adsit Bill Clover (Variant B) Bill Clover (Variant B) See fewer	Big Hero 6(2014)
Steve Agee Gork (Variant C) Gork (Variant C) See fewer	Peacemaker(2022)
Cecil Baldwin Emperor Yessel (Variant B) Emperor Yessel (Variant B) See fewer	Dreamboy(2018)
Craig Cackowski Gork (Variant B) Gork (Variant B) See fewer	Drunk History(2013)
Mark Gagliardi Croach the Tracker Croach the Tracker See fewer	Blood & Treasure(2019)
Marc Evan Jackson Sparks Nevada Sparks Nevada See fewer	The Baby-Sitters Club(2020)
Hal Lublin Folksy Hal (narrator) / The Marshal Station Doors (Variant D) Folksy Hal (narrator) / The Marshal Station Doors (Variant D) See fewer	The Venture Bros.(2003)
Kevin Murphy Gork (Variant D) Gork (Variant D) See fewer	Mystery Science Theater 3000(1988)
Annie Savage The Marshal Station Doors (Variant A / B / C) The Marshal Station Doors (Variant A / B / C) See fewer	Unthinkable(2010)