Plans are in motion to open nine new Men’s Tables across Canberra in the next year. Photo: Michael Collins, The Men’s Table.
The number of Canberra men looking for a confidential place to share the highs and lows of life is exploding, according to a national men’s organisation which cites a few reasons for the growth.
The Men’s Table was founded in 2011 when Sydneysider Ben Hughes invited a group of 11 other men to meet once a month in a private room, under the ground rule of “no sh*t talk”.
“They wanted a space that wasn’t about business,” regional host Michael Collins says.
“It wasn’t about footy and sport and turning up with all your alpha energy, but turning up with a bit of vulnerability and sharing the highs and lows of what was going on in your life.”
There are now 202 ‘Men’s Tables’ across the country, all topped at 12 men per table. Michael is a member of one in Shoalhaven on the NSW South Coast, where the need was especially great following the Black Summer bushfires.
“We’d had a bunch of people evacuating and fighting fires and all sorts of stuff at our table, and as a man, it was pretty confronting,” he says.
“But we definitely had pretty openhearted conversations about what it felt like to experience… and it really galvanised us as a group.”
He says Canberra has been one of the organisation’s greatest success stories, since starting with seed funding from The Snow Foundation in 2022. Owner of the Canberra Airport, Terry Snow, has helped connect the group with the region’s other charities and launch five ACT tables.
The Men’s Table regional host Michael Collins. Photo: Berry, Greg Twemlow.
Eight Men’s Tables are now open in Canberra – two in Gungahlin, two in Belconnen, one in the Inner North, one in the Inner South, one in Weston Creek and one in Tuggeranong – meeting in private rooms from Vikings Erindale to the Eastlake Football Club Gungahlin.
And there are plans to open nine more over the next 12 months due to demand, starting with Woden and the Molonglo Valley.
“Queanbeyan is filling up quite fast, and maybe we’ll go out to Bungendore as well, and Braidwood, Yass and Cooma are on the radar,” Michael says.
He says Canberra cultivates a particularly dangerous combination for mental health.
“There’s a culture of security and hierarchy, which is probably linked to security clearances as part of work, which doesn’t happen anywhere else. It’s also a competitive environment. And there’s a lot of self-employed people, so there’s a lot of isolation here.”
He reiterates the Men’s Tables are not “pity parties” and they avoid “support group” type language.
“Just because someone shares a really heavy story about how his brother is having a tough time doesn’t mean you hold back on the fact that your daughter just graduated or got married and you want to celebrate that,” Michael says.
Men join for a variety of reasons, from those who want help with a tough relationship or just want a break from their clique and meet other friends, to others there “because my partner sent me”.
The Men’s Table groups are capped at 12 men each. Photo: Berry, Greg Twemlow.
He says the reactions are the same.
“They’re like, ‘Wow, I’ve just met a bunch of people for the first time and there’s so much realness and authenticity in the room, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced that, even with people I’ve known for five, 10 years.'”
He says research by The Men’s Table shows the vast majority of participants become better listeners, have a better relationship with alcohol and their own health, and become more “emotionally literate and available” for their partners and children.
“We’ve also done interviews with partners and daughters to see how profoundly the behaviour change has impacted and benefitted them, and what we’re hearing is how appreciative women are of the behaviour change they’re seeing in their men.”
The Men’s Table is planning an‘Entree’ eventfor Canberra soon, where men interested in joining a local table can find out more.
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