Này một thiên lời nói là ta ở FB mặt trên đầu phát, bởi vì là ở về giới tính chủ nghĩa mặt trên cùng người khác có khác nhau ý tưởng. Bởi vì là nguyên lai là tiếng Anh phát, sau lại liền không có lại lần nữa phiên dịch, muốn nhìn nhìn xem đi, không nghĩ xem đương không có này một tầng lâu liền được rồi ha ha ~
TLDR: I determine my own happiness. (Warning: It's going to be long:S
Just had a conversation with someone about happiness for women. According to her, the best kind of happiness for a girl is to find someone who can love her and bring her a better life. The reason why girls are asking for independence so much nowadays is that most girls are not lucky enough to find that person who love her and have the financial stability to provide her with a better life. From what I learned, it sounds like she believes that the unlucky ones are working towards this goal in becoming independent to compensate the "grand happiness" they are missing due to lack Prince Charming. We are asking to have a voice, because we are the "unfortunate".
For a very very very long time, that's exactly what I thought. I thought for my whole life, my happiness as well as personal value will be determined by what kind of man I married off to, for he will bring me everything I don't have to work for and everything I'll ever need. But thanks to my education and those who encouraged me, I now personally believe that the best kind of happiness for ANYONE, is to have the ability to choose the type of life/role they want to live in, and to be respected as an individual. It is not to be confined by traditional gender roles in thinking that it is a man's job to work and a woman's job to take care the house. It is to have the options to live the kind of life you want to live, and not to be judged by the decision you make. A man is not successful or happy because of his job, just like a woman is not happy or successful because of her marriage. Human beings are happy because they are doing what they want, not what the society wants. Therefore, I desire to live independently and happily on my own, so that I can bring more happiness to those who I love. I desire to live a life with respects to free will, no harm and no judgement.
In China, men are facing very very very high expectations when it comes to marriage. Because we don't have too much girls left in the mating pool for heterosexual males-many of us were aborted and abandoned as we were considered less desirable and inferior. Nonetheless, the traditional gender role value asks that a man to provide support for his wife and children and even elders, which results in many many many family demanding a man to have a house and a car and a well-paid job in order to marry their daughters. Because it is man's "job" to take care of their baby girls. It makes me sad and LITERALLY BRINGS ME TO TEARS (for those of you who know how much I cry, you know it's true!). I really don't think it is his responsibility (or anybody's) to provide for me, but his love that made him willing to care for me, and bring me happiness. However, most of us grew up in a society that believes in patriarchy. So we subscribe to these values that placed an immense unfairness on both genders, creating so much pressure on these poor young Chinese men who are hoping that one day they can have a house, have a car, have more pays NOT BECAUSE THEY WANT TO, but so their dream girl's family would say yes to the financial status. We are so behind that we don't even think about homosexual and transgender groups. Support or not support, we are so "old-fashioned" that it is still tabooed, it is "weird to think about".
I guess she is right, that luck really have something to do with happiness. I feel extremely lucky that I now have the options to choose the type of lives I wish to live in. I also feel very fortunate to have the power and the access to achieve and not to settle. I am grateful the opportunity this land and my education had brought to me, and I am grateful for my family and friends who are really supportive of me on my journey to happiness. I hope that my hypothetical son in the long long lonnnnng future will grow up in a more progressive era in which he does not feel pressured to fill in a certain role or a certain expectation. I hope he can have access to critical thinking and free will, that he feels no need to be anybody but himself, masculine or feminine. This is why feminism matters, because it encourages people to be who they are and not who society thinks they ought to be. So as girls we can openly discuss sex and not to be slut-shamed, so as boys they can freely express their insecurity and not to be called "weak". So that Chinese men can stop feeling the financial burden on their shoulder because as women, we can do the same thing they are doing now-we don't need to be supported. So I don't have to have people look at me and be like, "oh poor Ariel, she has to work so hard because she couldn't find a good man".
I also hope that all of us can find our happiness no matter what they are, as long as this is what we wish for. Because I think everyone deserves to be happy.
Except for Ursula, she is pretty rude...
TLDR: I determine my own happiness. (Warning: It's going to be long:S
Just had a conversation with someone about happiness for women. According to her, the best kind of happiness for a girl is to find someone who can love her and bring her a better life. The reason why girls are asking for independence so much nowadays is that most girls are not lucky enough to find that person who love her and have the financial stability to provide her with a better life. From what I learned, it sounds like she believes that the unlucky ones are working towards this goal in becoming independent to compensate the "grand happiness" they are missing due to lack Prince Charming. We are asking to have a voice, because we are the "unfortunate".
For a very very very long time, that's exactly what I thought. I thought for my whole life, my happiness as well as personal value will be determined by what kind of man I married off to, for he will bring me everything I don't have to work for and everything I'll ever need. But thanks to my education and those who encouraged me, I now personally believe that the best kind of happiness for ANYONE, is to have the ability to choose the type of life/role they want to live in, and to be respected as an individual. It is not to be confined by traditional gender roles in thinking that it is a man's job to work and a woman's job to take care the house. It is to have the options to live the kind of life you want to live, and not to be judged by the decision you make. A man is not successful or happy because of his job, just like a woman is not happy or successful because of her marriage. Human beings are happy because they are doing what they want, not what the society wants. Therefore, I desire to live independently and happily on my own, so that I can bring more happiness to those who I love. I desire to live a life with respects to free will, no harm and no judgement.
In China, men are facing very very very high expectations when it comes to marriage. Because we don't have too much girls left in the mating pool for heterosexual males-many of us were aborted and abandoned as we were considered less desirable and inferior. Nonetheless, the traditional gender role value asks that a man to provide support for his wife and children and even elders, which results in many many many family demanding a man to have a house and a car and a well-paid job in order to marry their daughters. Because it is man's "job" to take care of their baby girls. It makes me sad and LITERALLY BRINGS ME TO TEARS (for those of you who know how much I cry, you know it's true!). I really don't think it is his responsibility (or anybody's) to provide for me, but his love that made him willing to care for me, and bring me happiness. However, most of us grew up in a society that believes in patriarchy. So we subscribe to these values that placed an immense unfairness on both genders, creating so much pressure on these poor young Chinese men who are hoping that one day they can have a house, have a car, have more pays NOT BECAUSE THEY WANT TO, but so their dream girl's family would say yes to the financial status. We are so behind that we don't even think about homosexual and transgender groups. Support or not support, we are so "old-fashioned" that it is still tabooed, it is "weird to think about".
I guess she is right, that luck really have something to do with happiness. I feel extremely lucky that I now have the options to choose the type of lives I wish to live in. I also feel very fortunate to have the power and the access to achieve and not to settle. I am grateful the opportunity this land and my education had brought to me, and I am grateful for my family and friends who are really supportive of me on my journey to happiness. I hope that my hypothetical son in the long long lonnnnng future will grow up in a more progressive era in which he does not feel pressured to fill in a certain role or a certain expectation. I hope he can have access to critical thinking and free will, that he feels no need to be anybody but himself, masculine or feminine. This is why feminism matters, because it encourages people to be who they are and not who society thinks they ought to be. So as girls we can openly discuss sex and not to be slut-shamed, so as boys they can freely express their insecurity and not to be called "weak". So that Chinese men can stop feeling the financial burden on their shoulder because as women, we can do the same thing they are doing now-we don't need to be supported. So I don't have to have people look at me and be like, "oh poor Ariel, she has to work so hard because she couldn't find a good man".
I also hope that all of us can find our happiness no matter what they are, as long as this is what we wish for. Because I think everyone deserves to be happy.
Except for Ursula, she is pretty rude...