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Triggered: A Memoir of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

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Imagine the worst thing in the world. Picture it. Construct it, carefully and deliberately in your mind. Be careful not to omit anything. Imagine it happening to you, to the people you love. Imagine the worst thing in the world.
Now try not to think about it.

This is what it is like for Fletcher Wortmann. In his brilliant memoir, the author takes us on an intimate journey across the psychological landscape of OCD, known as the “doubting disorder,” as populated by God, girls, and apocalyptic nightmares. Wortmann unflinchingly reveals the elaborate series of psychological rituals he constructs as “preventative measures” to ward off the end times, as well as his learning to cope with intrusive thoughts throughClockwork Orange-like “trigger” therapy.

But even more than this, the author emerges as a preternatural talent as he unfolds a kaleidoscope of culture high and low ranging from his obsessions with David Bowie, X-Men, and Pokemon, to an eclectic education shaped by Shakespeare, Kierkegaard, Catholic mysticism, Christian comic books, and the collegiate dating scene at the “People’s Republic of Swarthmore.”

Triggeredis a pitch-perfect memoir; a touching, triumphantly funny, compulsively readable, and ultimately uplifting coming-of-age tale for Generation nxiety.

272 pages

First published March 27, 2012

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About the author

Fletcher Wortmann

1book13followers
Fletcher Wortmann is the author of Triggered: A Memoir of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (St. Martin’s Press, 2012), reviewed by People Magazine (3½ out of 4 stars) and Booklist (Starred Review, Top 10 Science and Health Book of the Year). He continues to write about managing anxiety and disability as a columnist for Psychology Today.

Fletcher received his BA in English Literature from Swarthmore College in 2009, and his MFA in Creative Writing from Sarah Lawrence in College 2016. He has worked at One Good Thing, a startup developing apps that teach mindfulness meditation using videogame design and positive psychology; and as a futurology consultant for PMK*BNC in New York, advising on the future of pop culture, politics and technology.

He is currently working on his first novel.

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5 stars
393 (26%)
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424 (29%)
3 stars
316 (21%)
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180 (12%)
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146 (10%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 93 reviews
Profile Image for Lauren.
3 reviews2 followers
May 2, 2013
I appreciate what Fletcher Wortmann has been through. Boy, do I ever. But as a fellow OCD-sufferer, I felt he didn't come close to letting people know what goes on in our heads. He seemed to give a lot of examples of the types of things people could obsess about without outright saying very much about what he DOES obsess about. He might give a line about it, but he never goes into detail. Maybe, at this stage, he can't do it. Goodness knows there are some things I can't talk about, but there is plenty that I can. If he has gone through all of that incredibly difficult therapy and is now in a place where he can deal with it, it just seems like he should be able to tell us more.

I only felt like I was starting to understand what goes on in his mind in the last couple of chapters, and even then, it was only a tip of the iceberg kind of thing. I suppose, that's all it can ever be; I just wanted a bigger chunk of ice.

Also, his writing felt very pretentious and occasionally condescending. I read a review on another website that said something along the lines of him sacrificing content for the next witty line, and I agree with that. It definitely felt like he was showing off a lot.

And I know this is stupid, and as such, I did not factor it into my rating, but the image on the cover is never tied in to the book. It's an eye-catching image that has nothing to do with anything, unless it is one of those obsessions he never fully explained.
Profile Image for Sara.
4 reviews
April 1, 2012
Wow. I heard this author interviewed by Neal Conan on NPR’s Talk of the Nation and was very intrigued. The author is clearly very bright, quite empathetic, and really funny. He suffers from a lesser-know form of obsessive compulsive disorder, pure o, which isn’t accompanied by any visible rituals. His repetitive behaviors are all in his mind. As a result, it took him quite a long time to be properly diagnosed, and he suffered greatly for it growing up.

Although there are certainly dark times in the book, Wortmann manages to introduce a great deal of humor in the telling. This is not just a book for people who suffer from mental health issues, or care for those who do. It’s a brilliant coming-of-age story of growing up in the late twentieth and early twenty-first centuries in a society characterized by stress and anxiety.
Profile Image for Simay Yildiz.
654 reviews173 followers
February 28, 2012
http://zimlicious.blogspot.com/2012/0...

When I came across this book on NetGalley, first thing that caught my eye was OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This instantly made me want to read it, but then I had to think about it for a moment because it hit too close to home. I was afraid that what I might find in it would 'trigger' my disorder even more, but in the end, the urge to read about someone who's going through the same thing won. In the end, I'm glad I didn't chicken out and read it because it showed me that it's possible to live with OCD, and one doesn't have to curl up in a ball and stay like for the rest of their life.


When you mention OCD to those who are more fortunate than you are, they seem to instantly think of Jack Nicholson's character in As Good As It Gets: the guy who keeps packages of soap in his bathroom cabinet and opens a different one every time he has to wash his hands, which is very often. Then, of course, the next thing they notice is, "you don't wash your hands all the time," or, "dirty doesn't bug you as much." It's true that the instant hand-washing and intolerance toward that are symptoms of OCD. Yet, they're not the only ones or the must-haves of the disease.


As soon as I started reading, I found out that Wortmann doesn't show the hand-washing symptoms either. This led doctors to misdiagnose him with depression, until it was found out that he was struggling with OCD. It is a serious disease, but I was glad the author chose a tone that wasn't depressing. From the very beginning, he made OCD feel like something that can be lived with and lived well with. It's amazing to see how far he's come, thinking the world will end in his youth and then being able to make fun of it as he was writing the book.


This made Triggered fun to read, believe it or not. Yet he doesn't just make you laugh as he shares his struggles with the disease; he also makes the reader learn and think. I found his sharing his stories to be very insightful. I was glad and really applauded him on sharing even the embarrassing ones because most of the time those are the hardest to deal with. And the best part is hearing all this from a person who's dealt with it all, instead of some snobbish psychologist who tells you how to even though you can't.


I believe that whether or not you suffer from OCD, you can enjoy this book. Especially those who enjoy memoirs will definitely like this one.
Profile Image for Lindsay Wilcox.
408 reviews35 followers
October 24, 2017
This book was recommended to me particularly for its description of what the "Pure-O" kind of OCD is like. I had honestly never heard of that before, so I went in about as open-minded as I ever am. Until the author got to college, I was mostly sick of reading about his pretentiousness. I have a sore spot for adolescents who claim to have understood religion enough to reject it. What kept me reading were his admittedly beautiful descriptions of what it was like as the disorder crept in.

Once he got to college, I was much more sympathetic. I am grateful that I can't imagine what it was like to be experiencing such clear and severe symptoms of a disorder that no one noticed for so long. Other kinds of suffering—and even other forms of mental illness—are at least visible and noticeable. His were silent. That can only have exacerbated the suffering.

I liked his writing, as a writer myself. Some of his turns of phrase are just beautiful. I like his story, although I'm interested in seeing where it goes as he grows up. Overall, I'm glad he was finally able to find some relief.
Profile Image for Judith.
1,648 reviews83 followers
August 9, 2012
If you didn't know anything at all about OCD, and you had never even heard of the disease, this book might prove enlightening. But if you have even a passing familiarity with it, you don't need to read this. Somehow the tone of the memoir is like a 12 year old bragging about his appendectomy scar. I wanted to sympathize with him but ending up sympathizing with everyone around him. I'm sorry and I hope he doesn't read this review and stick a fork in an electrical outlet.
Profile Image for Ms. McGregor.
195 reviews46 followers
April 10, 2012
I read about 50 pages and I couldn't get into it. Wortmann acknowledges in the introduction that because of his disease there are some parts that ramble and it is not perfectly edited, but because of his condition, it was important that he tried not to fixate on it and consider himself finished. While I can understand how delicate that may be, the lengthy, labored expositions are difficult to trudge through, so I decided to move on to another book that I've been looking forward to reading more.
Profile Image for Kendra.
185 reviews11 followers
July 3, 2013
I enjoyed the beginning of the book tremendously (about the first 120 pages or so), especially the author's witty humor but I found that as I continued to read the book the quality went downhill. There are some statements that are nigh inexcusable to me and on page 120 in my copy there is one of them. It states: "Other than that, I can only repeat my refrain: Please do not criticize me excessively, because I tried to kill myself before and may again." Maybe this statement was meant to be an attempt at dry humor but I find compelling people to not criticize your book or else you might harm yourself extremely distasteful. My abhorrence is exacerbated by the fact that later in the book he claims that he never attempted suicide, he only had suicidal thoughts. A fine line, but still enough to increase my displeasure at the statement.

The author also spends much of his time talking about Pokemon, X-men, video games, and casual sexual encounters. Though you might expect casual sexual encounters to be at least a bit interesting, it all comes across as very petty and immature. He describes his first love as a deeply troubled woman, which she might have been, but it left me wondering if she had been diagnosed with all these disorders by a professional or if the author was just assuming these diagnoses based on behavior that he encountered. Overall, I was increasingly disappointed as I continued to read. I would encourage potential readers to read the first hundred pages or so and then stop, or better yet read Devil in the Details or other memoirs of individuals suffering from OCD.
Profile Image for Sandy.
3 reviews
May 4, 2012
This book is an education about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which, at least for me (and I expect for many others) is a little known mental health disorder that is both misunderstood and misdiagnosed, particularly among children and young adults. The author, a recent graduate of Swarthmore College, suffered from this malady through childhood but was not diagnosed until he became a young adult. By itself, the needless suffering that he (and undoubtedly many other young people) undergo should make Triggered required reading for any parent with a child suffering from mental health maladies of the type that Wortmann so eloquently describes.

In the end, "Triggered" is most admirable because it is a story of a young man who faces his most horrific nightmares and, through the painful process of Exposure Response Therapy, makes them blink. The fact that Wortmann is able to take us along on his journey with poignancy and even humor makes the experience of reading “Triggered” a rewarding one.
Profile Image for Roger.
2 reviews1 follower
April 2, 2012
I read this book on Sunday in one sitting - it is that captivating. Triggered really speaks to the anxieties in all of us, but in a very personal way. The author shares his experience suffering from purely obsessional OCD. And he does so in a very humorous fashion. I think it’s a good read for those who suffer from mental health issues - because the author’s story offers hope; as well as for those who do not – because it offers great insight into the mind and heart of a very clever and intelligent writer who also happens to have obsessive compulsive disorder.
Profile Image for Larry Calvert.
3 reviews1 follower
October 11, 2015
I felt this book was exploitive, petty, and paints the author as a total snob. As someone with OCD I couldn't even conjure up sympathy for him. The author had a supportive family and no barriers to getting care. The constant high-brow references provide no insight and make the book totally un-relatable. If you want to read a book with actual facts and historical perspective I would recommend, The Man Who Couldn't Stop. Less liberal art student whining, more experiences from the author and how they effected him.
52 reviews1 follower
April 13, 2012
Heard the author interviewed on NPR and thought it sounded like a good read. I have to admit, the author is funny and keeps the book light...actually the book is quite entertaining. I gave it only two stars because it wasn't what I was hoping for. He shared stories from his youth as an OCD sufferer. I was hoping for a clearer understanding into OCD from a psychologists point of view.
1 review
April 7, 2012
How a guy in his early twenties can manage to be both heart-renderingly poignant and wryly funny when writing about his life with a serious disorder, I don't know - but this author managed to do it with great flare. I hope he writes a sequel.
12 reviews
February 13, 2019
Introspective and compelling at its best, triggered gave me powerful insight into a world of mental struggle I had not previously comprehended. At times, a few of the stories seem a bit glamorized almost and I'm still not sure what the cover has to do with the book, but it's certainly an evoking image. Wortmann has a way of making you empathize without realizing you're empathizing, his writing is almost hypnotic at times. Funny, but tragic, this book is a must read for anyone wanting to feel deeply and empathize about things you may not have wanted to think about.
Profile Image for Valentina.
Author38 books179 followers
February 16, 2012
This is a fascinating memoir about mental illness. It is neither maudlin nor whinny, but it portrays a life lived under the weight of a serious disease.
What surprised me most about the book was the light tone the author chose to tell his story. It is full of jokes and self-deprecations which makes what could have been a depressing read almost funny. As someone who has dealt with severe depression myself, I know that it is not easy to achieve that kind of levity when recounting one’s illness. This book had me laughing and frowning at the health care’s level of incompetence. It was very interesting to read about OCD and its treatment from someone who has lived his life crippled by it and not just a clinical explanation of what the disease really is all about.
The writing style is fun, although it can, sometimes, get a bit repetitive. Sometimes the voice comes through as self-pitying but I suppose that comes with the territory when writing about mental illness.
I definitely recommend this book to anyone who has suffered from any type of psychological trouble and has met with an uncaring world. Even if you haven’t, chances are you know someone close to you who has struggled with mental illness, so I do encourage you to pick it up.
2 reviews1 follower
May 6, 2013
Had a chance to read this during my spring break. I was putting it off, because I have this type of OCD too, and I didn’t know how reading it would affect me. But, I have to say, I found this pretty helpful.

The initial strategy of having the reader put himself into the mind of an obsessive compulsive (sort of) was really effective. OCD is usually portrayed so poorly, this gave the reader a sense of what it’s really like. If you suffer from OCD, it was easy to just substitute your own version of the apocalypse and your own rituals.

I found much of the middle of the book to be a reflection of the author just trying to live the life of a normal college kid while suffering from a severe mental illness - something I can really relate to.

Haven’t undergone the intensive type of treatment that the author experienced, but I have had some exposure therapy, and I thought he captured this pretty well too.

In the end, the conclusion was relatively hopeful, which I really appreciated.
Profile Image for Kathleen.
2 reviews
March 31, 2012
Triggered: A Memoir of Obsessive-Compulsive is a poignant, painful story that Fletcher Wortmann tells with intelligence and wit. As Mr. Wortmann takes us through his years of confusion and depair, the reader feels his pain as well. As he develops insights about his disorder and acceptance of the ongoing implications this will have in his life, the reader also feels a sense of accomplishment in overcomming adversity and a sense of triumph and hope for the future. This book is a must read for indivduals and families who are struggling with issues of obsessive compulsive disorder. As a mental health professional I also give it a strong recommendation. I know it will be an invaluable tool in my work with my own clients. It is a book that gives a voice and answers to so many people out there who are suffering alone.
Profile Image for Karen.
2 reviews
April 17, 2012
I thought this was a fantastic read. I learned a lot about a disorder that I thought I understood but found I knew nothing about at all. I empathized with a truly sympathetic protagonist - a young bright kid with a troubled mind. And I was entertained with some really smart language.

I’m Catholic, and I have to admit that I found this sentence to be absolutely hilarious: “I have found Catholicism and obsessive-compulsive disorder to be deeply sympathetic to each other. One is a repressive construct founded in existential terror, barely restrained by complex, arbitrary ritual behaviors; and the other is an anxiety disorder.”

Phrases such as this pervade this work, adding a lot of levity to this difficult tale.
Profile Image for Tevilla.
303 reviews1 follower
April 11, 2012
Hard to read this struggle through OCD. Not the hand washing kind but the intrusive thought kind of hell.

The book ramps up slowly, bringing you into it slowly and, for me, questioning why this was a issue--wasn't his problem just teenage/college angst? Then he hits you with the reality. It took my breath away and I read without stopping.

It ends with measured hope and I want Fletcher's life to be one of hope and moving forward in his own way.

Highly recommended for any now in the midst or fringes of OCD. Or anyone who wants to learn what special hell mental illness reserves for the special..
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Janet.
2 reviews
April 11, 2012
This book is incredibly descriptive in a way that helps you really get a sense of the way in which OCD has impacted the author's mind. He paints very vivid pictures of the many varied crises he experienced in childhood and his young adult years leading up to his diagnosis and treatment. He had the same experiences that we all shared growing up, but he felt them to a much more intense degree. Thankfully he used a lot of ironic humor to lighten the tone in this educational and entertaining memoir.
Profile Image for Marsmannix.
457 reviews52 followers
March 6, 2017
I had high hopes reading the introduction. As i got into the chapters, i could not tolerate the author's smarmy voice. He is trying (and failing) to be David Sedaris. It seems this is new norm among young memoir writers: snark, too-clever-half, sprinkling the correct cultural references.
The book is supposed to be a memoir of OCD, but it seems like a plain vanilla memoir with a few instances of OCD thrown in.

If i were the author, I would ask for refund of my MFA tuition.
4 reviews
November 26, 2014
I'm halfway through this book and so far I like it. It is interesting to see the problem that this guy has gone through his whole life. When most people think of OCD they only think of compulsive hand washing or trying to make everything perfect but his disorder is much more than that. It is just very interesting to here what he really has gone through with his disorder.
2 reviews
July 25, 2012
I am almost done reading this book. Memoir of one person's experience with Pure-O OCD. It really doesn't get into the extent of his disorder and treatment until the second half of the book. I would recommend it but prefer Devil in the Details.
Profile Image for Paula Gallagher.
130 reviews17 followers
March 25, 2012
Despite being in his mid-twenties, the author writes like a mannered, privileged, whiny 40-something. Not funny or particularly insightful.
April 10, 2012
I've got OCD with internal thoughts so I was kind of reluctant to read this, but this guy absolutely nailed it in a really funny way.
Profile Image for Yolanda.
102 reviews24 followers
December 8, 2012
Whine. Whine. Whine. You have no right to be happy. Whine. Whine. Whine. The book is too much.
19 reviews
November 15, 2021
The author writes in flourishes of outstanding, electric prose that make you envious for the apparent ease with which he toys with the language. And his experience of the subject is fascinating. However, the book as a whole is disappointing. There is certainly plenty of memoir, but not enough OCD. It is a memoir of an unknown young man moving from adolescence into adulthood, with some painful experiences along the way, some of which include OCD. Any reader looking to better understand OCD - what causes it, how you live with it, how it works - can find the scent of answers here but can never really grab hold of them.
Profile Image for Allison Holm.
8 reviews1 follower
April 16, 2018
Fletcher Wortmann's memoir does the important work of advocating for those suffering with OCD, pushing the boundaries of conventional understanding to greater inclusivity and compassion. Though his vulgarity and irreverence come off initially as over-the-top, these vices grow to become truly impressive and endearing as outgrowths of living life in the face of inevitable pain and fear. Wortmann's distinct comprehension of suffering and his hard work to live through pain with humor and confidence are empowering to both the diagnosed and the regularly-insane.
Profile Image for Leah.
26 reviews
February 5, 2019
This book gives insight into the world of a lesser known type of OCD, which I found very interesting. I laughed out loud a handful of times, which is always appreciated. The writing, however, is average, and I was distracted through a large remainder of the book after having read, "Better safe then sorry."
Profile Image for Susan.
492 reviews4 followers
August 13, 2019
Highs and lows, averaging out to, well, average. Some of his descriptions and explanations were spot on, relatable, and extremely moving. But then his writing was so overwrought and pretentious most of the time that I felt like I was reading an editorial in a college newspaper. I think this memoir could have been seriously helped by a decade or so of maturity/experience.
Profile Image for Maggy Eijk.
Author4 books73 followers
October 24, 2017
I really wanted to love this, and I did in parts, but Fletcher's self-loathing was grating at times as is his attitude towards women.
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