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The Diary of an American Au Pair
After losing her advertising job in San Francisco and canceling her wedding (though not her engagement) an unencumbered Melissa, who harbors grand illusions about life in England, heads off to a new job as au pair to the family of a Member of Parliament. But the minorly aristocratic Haig-Ereildouns’ household falls far short of Melissa’s imaginings. Mrs. Haig-Ereildoun refers to Melissa as "her American girl" with a mixture of pride and contempt, expects her to share the children’s bathwater and, most importantly, entreats Melissa to "try to speak as we do." Heaven forbid the children pick up an American accent!
But then there is Nanny, the gloriously eccentric octogenarian who raised Mrs. H-E, who offers comfort, and much comic relief; nine-year-old Trevor, Melissa’s charge, whose wisdom and companionship redeem many a lonely day; and her budding friendship with a mysterious Englishman who is miles from her fiancé in every way. Melissa converses with Scotish fishermen, breakfasts with a French Minister of Culture, frequents island castles and sixteenth century manor houses, all the while straddling her ill-defined role (somewhere between houseguest and servant) with humor and grace. Melissa’s immersion in this unforgettable world teaches her more than she could possibly have imagined not only about the culture she has come to inhabit but, most importantly, about herself.
But then there is Nanny, the gloriously eccentric octogenarian who raised Mrs. H-E, who offers comfort, and much comic relief; nine-year-old Trevor, Melissa’s charge, whose wisdom and companionship redeem many a lonely day; and her budding friendship with a mysterious Englishman who is miles from her fiancé in every way. Melissa converses with Scotish fishermen, breakfasts with a French Minister of Culture, frequents island castles and sixteenth century manor houses, all the while straddling her ill-defined role (somewhere between houseguest and servant) with humor and grace. Melissa’s immersion in this unforgettable world teaches her more than she could possibly have imagined not only about the culture she has come to inhabit but, most importantly, about herself.
346 pages, Paperback
First published March 12, 2001
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 76 reviews
January 7, 2019
I was given this book by a fellow anglophile and was told that if I love England I must read this book. Well, the good news is, I still love England, but I did not love this book.
The story follows our protagonist, Melissa, as she moves across the pond to become an au pair for Haig-Ereildoun family. Her job was to help teach their 3-year old deaf daughter to talk. What ends up actually happening is that Melissa becomes nothing more than a personal slave to this family. She ends up taking care of all 3 of their children, plus does all the housework and sometimes the cooking too. And while she complains about this to us, her audience, she never actually stands up to her employer even though it's plainly obvious that how she's being treated is illegal.
Long story short, Melissa has no backbone. My favorite character was her best friend, Mot, who also lived in England. She got so fed up with Melissa complaining about her employer and not doing anything about it that she just stopped listening. She literally would tune her out and not give her any advise. Bravo, Mot, bravo.
There were many issues I had with the book besides Melissa.
1. Tedward. Who names someone that? I thought it was a joke the first time I read it and then realized that was actually the name of Melissa's so-called fiance. I say so-called because she apparently called off their wedding and ran away to England, but yet they are still engaged and will be married at some point? I really don't know. This part was confusing.
2. What exactly is the time period here? Most of the time it seemed completely modern but then suddenly we were back in the dark ages with heating up bathwater with pots.
3. The flow. Or lack of. This book jumped all over the place with it's stories and it made it really confusing to figure out where in Melissa's time frame it occurred.
4. How the mother treated the deaf child. She was super cuddly when the child was with her but then later in the book said had she known her daughter was going to be deaf she would rather her not have been born. But this woman was a grade A bitch so...
The best part of this book was an old lady simply know as Nanny. Her parts were interesting and funny and brought life to a very dreary novel. Not even the London location could brighten this up for me.
The story follows our protagonist, Melissa, as she moves across the pond to become an au pair for Haig-Ereildoun family. Her job was to help teach their 3-year old deaf daughter to talk. What ends up actually happening is that Melissa becomes nothing more than a personal slave to this family. She ends up taking care of all 3 of their children, plus does all the housework and sometimes the cooking too. And while she complains about this to us, her audience, she never actually stands up to her employer even though it's plainly obvious that how she's being treated is illegal.
Long story short, Melissa has no backbone. My favorite character was her best friend, Mot, who also lived in England. She got so fed up with Melissa complaining about her employer and not doing anything about it that she just stopped listening. She literally would tune her out and not give her any advise. Bravo, Mot, bravo.
There were many issues I had with the book besides Melissa.
1. Tedward. Who names someone that? I thought it was a joke the first time I read it and then realized that was actually the name of Melissa's so-called fiance. I say so-called because she apparently called off their wedding and ran away to England, but yet they are still engaged and will be married at some point? I really don't know. This part was confusing.
2. What exactly is the time period here? Most of the time it seemed completely modern but then suddenly we were back in the dark ages with heating up bathwater with pots.
3. The flow. Or lack of. This book jumped all over the place with it's stories and it made it really confusing to figure out where in Melissa's time frame it occurred.
4. How the mother treated the deaf child. She was super cuddly when the child was with her but then later in the book said had she known her daughter was going to be deaf she would rather her not have been born. But this woman was a grade A bitch so...
The best part of this book was an old lady simply know as Nanny. Her parts were interesting and funny and brought life to a very dreary novel. Not even the London location could brighten this up for me.
June 13, 2010
"The Nanny Diaries" in the UK, "Do Try to Speak As We Do" (the title on my copy of this book) is about a milktoast of a young woman, Melissa, who takes on a job as an au pair in Britain, sight unseen.
It's generally known that au pairs are abused and less regulated than nannies. They also tend to be less experienced.
Melissa expected England and Scotland to be right off the screen of a Merchant Ivory film and was gravely disappointed to meet her snobby and verbally abusive employer, Mrs. Haig-Ereildoun. She has three charges: Pru, Trevor, and 3-year-old Claire, who happens to be deaf.
A few things about this book bothered me:
1. I had a hard time getting past the completely dorky name of her boyfriend, Tedward. I also couldn't understand what she saw in him (or Simon, for that matter!) and also why she called off the wedding.
2. The time sequencing seemed off. Ford was an au pair in the UK herself when she was much younger, but this book seemed to have a more modern setting but also seemed outdated in other ways.
3. I found the character development to be lacking--specifically "Tedward," Simon, and the Haig-Ereildouns. This might be because the novel was written in first person. Mrs. Haig-Ereildoun was entirely one-dimensional: she didn't have any redeeming qualities at all.
4. It bothered me that no one seemed to feel it was important for Claire to learn sign language--on the contrary in fact. In fact, they seemed to treat Claire as if she were less of a person because she was deaf. This seems like very outdated thinking to me...and an attitude leading to a lifetime of isolation. Is this what Ford really believes about the deaf? That they shouldn't be taught sign language?
As an American married to an Englishman, some of the bits I found amusing...like the inane rules of British banking, believed importance of sending one's children to private (public) schools, snobbiness about anything American, fondness for cold toast and runny eggs, and fact that doctors don't earn much money in the UK, among other things.
However, the British did not come out of this book very well. Doormat Melissa's employers and others walked all over her. Just about the only British people who were at all appealing were hired help or children.
I got tired of Melissa's lack of drive or motivation to stand up for herself. I'm vacillating between 2 and 3 stars (such a momentous decision!!), but I think I'd give it 2-1/2 stars if I could, because I was ready for the book to be over when I was 3/4 of the way through, and that's not a good sign. It also might be why I've never seen this book in the press.
It's generally known that au pairs are abused and less regulated than nannies. They also tend to be less experienced.
Melissa expected England and Scotland to be right off the screen of a Merchant Ivory film and was gravely disappointed to meet her snobby and verbally abusive employer, Mrs. Haig-Ereildoun. She has three charges: Pru, Trevor, and 3-year-old Claire, who happens to be deaf.
A few things about this book bothered me:
1. I had a hard time getting past the completely dorky name of her boyfriend, Tedward. I also couldn't understand what she saw in him (or Simon, for that matter!) and also why she called off the wedding.
2. The time sequencing seemed off. Ford was an au pair in the UK herself when she was much younger, but this book seemed to have a more modern setting but also seemed outdated in other ways.
3. I found the character development to be lacking--specifically "Tedward," Simon, and the Haig-Ereildouns. This might be because the novel was written in first person. Mrs. Haig-Ereildoun was entirely one-dimensional: she didn't have any redeeming qualities at all.
4. It bothered me that no one seemed to feel it was important for Claire to learn sign language--on the contrary in fact. In fact, they seemed to treat Claire as if she were less of a person because she was deaf. This seems like very outdated thinking to me...and an attitude leading to a lifetime of isolation. Is this what Ford really believes about the deaf? That they shouldn't be taught sign language?
As an American married to an Englishman, some of the bits I found amusing...like the inane rules of British banking, believed importance of sending one's children to private (public) schools, snobbiness about anything American, fondness for cold toast and runny eggs, and fact that doctors don't earn much money in the UK, among other things.
However, the British did not come out of this book very well. Doormat Melissa's employers and others walked all over her. Just about the only British people who were at all appealing were hired help or children.
I got tired of Melissa's lack of drive or motivation to stand up for herself. I'm vacillating between 2 and 3 stars (such a momentous decision!!), but I think I'd give it 2-1/2 stars if I could, because I was ready for the book to be over when I was 3/4 of the way through, and that's not a good sign. It also might be why I've never seen this book in the press.
August 22, 2012
I was given this book over four years ago at a Bookcrossing meet up ( a really fun one at Bob's Big Boy in Burbank) and it has sat on my bookshelf ever since. I've been battling a terrible virus and decided that I needed a light read, so I plucked it off the shelf.
I rated Marjorie Leet Ford's "The Dairy of an American Au Pair: A Novel" four out of five stars, not because it's a great book, but I think for it's genre (definitely pulpy chick-lit) it was decent. It's a quick, fun read.
The story is told from the POV of Melissa, a twenty-something American, who loses her job and decides to take a position as an Au Pair to an English Couple. Melissa sets off to England with high hopes of finding herself and seeing a new country/ cultural immersion. She quickly learns that the family she is working for is a bit nutty and has different expectations for her time in England. Ultimately the book is about the relationships that she develops, in particular with the youngest daughter Claire and the old former nanny whom has worked for the family for years. I bought into most of the book, with the exception of Melissa's romantic encounters, which just didn't work for me and I thought held little relevance to the story. They should have been edited out.
I am dating a Brit, so I think that made me a bit partial to this story, as I found some of Melissa's cultural confusion to ring true. Two things that my boyfriend says, Melissa also encounters in the book. First, "what's for tea?". It took me forever to realize that tea means dinner and not actually having a cup of tea. The second, also related, "what's for pudding?". Pudding doesn't always mean Jello, it means dessert in a generic sense. This cracked me up when I read it in the book. The weird thing is, I have begun to think in terms of Tea and Pudding, because I hear my boyfriend say it every day.
This is a good beach read. It's mostly fluff, with a few insightful and serious chapters. Enjoyable.
I rated Marjorie Leet Ford's "The Dairy of an American Au Pair: A Novel" four out of five stars, not because it's a great book, but I think for it's genre (definitely pulpy chick-lit) it was decent. It's a quick, fun read.
The story is told from the POV of Melissa, a twenty-something American, who loses her job and decides to take a position as an Au Pair to an English Couple. Melissa sets off to England with high hopes of finding herself and seeing a new country/ cultural immersion. She quickly learns that the family she is working for is a bit nutty and has different expectations for her time in England. Ultimately the book is about the relationships that she develops, in particular with the youngest daughter Claire and the old former nanny whom has worked for the family for years. I bought into most of the book, with the exception of Melissa's romantic encounters, which just didn't work for me and I thought held little relevance to the story. They should have been edited out.
I am dating a Brit, so I think that made me a bit partial to this story, as I found some of Melissa's cultural confusion to ring true. Two things that my boyfriend says, Melissa also encounters in the book. First, "what's for tea?". It took me forever to realize that tea means dinner and not actually having a cup of tea. The second, also related, "what's for pudding?". Pudding doesn't always mean Jello, it means dessert in a generic sense. This cracked me up when I read it in the book. The weird thing is, I have begun to think in terms of Tea and Pudding, because I hear my boyfriend say it every day.
This is a good beach read. It's mostly fluff, with a few insightful and serious chapters. Enjoyable.
June 10, 2020
The first 80-plus pages were earning 2-stars, but since MLF worked for NPR, I read on. It did perk up.
This was the first I've heard of Brythons, painted people, which led to the term Britain. (p 92)
p 254 I haven't heard this thought before:
"You shouldn't waste your wedding present money on new things. They have no history."
p 343
I have a friend who types the stories of his favorite writers. He says that by tapping the words across his keyboard, he gets deeper into the heart of the writer. He feels the rhythm of the sentences...,
I wonder if anyone actually does this.
This is not a keeper. (2020: I don't remember this story at all... does this say something about the book? or about me?)
This was the first I've heard of Brythons, painted people, which led to the term Britain. (p 92)
p 254 I haven't heard this thought before:
"You shouldn't waste your wedding present money on new things. They have no history."
p 343
I have a friend who types the stories of his favorite writers. He says that by tapping the words across his keyboard, he gets deeper into the heart of the writer. He feels the rhythm of the sentences...,
I wonder if anyone actually does this.
This is not a keeper. (2020: I don't remember this story at all... does this say something about the book? or about me?)
February 18, 2016
I liked this book. It’s a little formulaic: a cross between Bridget Jones and The Nanny Diaries, but a good, light and entertaining read. And the food! The food is tantalizing: luscious descriptions of banquets and teas and Scotch eggs. Plus there is a little gem of a book referenced within the book:Fattypuffs And Thinifers,by André Maurois, which the English children’s mother reads to them on picnics.
June 19, 2017
This book only received 3 stars because I absolutely love the writing style other than that this book infuriates me....like why on earth would you hire an unqualified person from another country to teach ur deaf child to speak and then complain about them not speaking the way you do and tell them to "please speak a little more like us deary". If you wanted some one to teach your child to speak like you why on earth did you hire someone from another country who sounds completely different from you and uses language differently?
May 18, 2020
This book deserves more of 2.5 stars than three but decided to just round it up. I like the author's writing style, however she spends a lot of time describing a particular topic. For example, there are three whole pages dedicated to describing Melissa's (the protagonist) plight with being fat. We get it, she's fat. Can we move on? It was also a slow start for me, I almost put the book down mid way. The book to me seemed like a never ending monologue of the cultural differences between bourgeois Brits and Americans (in terms of food, accents, food, accents....repeat). And forget tedward, Haig-Ereldoun? What a name. I will give the book some points in comedy as there were funny moments but It's also predictable. I knew a couple of chapters in that she eventually wasn't going to marry Tedward and would end up with Simon. So to sum it up, her writing style was what drew me in, not the plot.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 11, 2017
This is the tale of Melissa who leaves her life in the USA to take on a job as an au-pair to a family in England....& from thereon it follows the same formula as all the other books about au-pairs & nannies that I've read!
While this was a reasonably enjoyable story, I certainly didn't find it to be the hilarious tale that the cover described, though the misunderstandings caused by the differences with English & American language were mildly amusing. The most interesting parts of the book to me were the parts describing food:o)
While this was a reasonably enjoyable story, I certainly didn't find it to be the hilarious tale that the cover described, though the misunderstandings caused by the differences with English & American language were mildly amusing. The most interesting parts of the book to me were the parts describing food:o)
January 27, 2024
I found this to be an entertaining coming-of-age book with some interesting settings and real bright spots, like the character of Nanny. For those who complain that Melissa lets her employer walk all over her, that’s really the point, isn’t it? She’s a young woman without any self confidence, so of course she does! And eats a lot of biscuits to compensate;-) She clings to the cringe-worthy named fiancé as she starts to spread her wings with her writing. She navigates anachronistic plumbing and English attitudes all so she can figure out who she is and what she stands for.
February 12, 2018
I bailed today, on p. 120 (out of 346 pages). Life is too short, I'm afraid, for me to spend precious time reading this book. I saw it at our local library, and it looked like a fun, light read – I love fish-out-of-water tales in which, say, a Brit moves to a farm in Spain, or a foreigner comes to America. But this just got... weird. And it's boring. The other reviews here point out the many inconsistencies. Too many other books on my nightstand I can't wait to start!
Read
April 15, 2020Melissa takes a job as an au pair to a demanding British family, and finds herself straddling the line between servant and guest. The job is, of course, harder than she imagined, and she finds herself examining where she wants to go in life. Great sense of place with the British Isles descriptions, and also good food descriptions, for those of you who like that sort of thing.
October 29, 2020
What an enjoyable book. As an English girl living in America for the past 35 years I could relate well to this story & the characters. Plus, when I first traveled to California, it was to work as a nanny/au pair. I worked for some wealthy Americans, but they were not Lords or Ladies, although one women I worked for seemed to think she was the Lady of the Manor.
January 2, 2019
I was all ready to give this three stars, but will give it four for a beautiful ending!
April 21, 2019
I found this book a bit predictable, an American working as an au pair to a poor aristocrat family, and their funny ways, and how she deals with it. Ok if you are not English.
February 8, 2023
SO funny—loved it!
April 30, 2021
"Do Try to Speak as We do" is a diary of the life of an American au pair Melissa living with an Scotch -English family in the 1960s. At first, she is dazzled by the opportunity to live in the midst of British family connected with parliament and royal tradition, then she quickly learns it is more than posh accents, castles and teas. She learns about the relationship between British and American cultures: the humour, depth of history everywhere, the resilience as well as the inflexibility of British expectations of behavior, language and position. At times, she is a valued member of the family, but often she is bullied or excluded by the mother and often the children for "we've always..." and "how could you not know..." expectations without any explanation. She finds kinship and learns to value herself from Old Nanny who loves and realistically understands the family. In turn, Melissa gives the support and nurture to the children to develop their own self hood and find their place in a broader world.
+beautiful, colourful descriptions of buildings, parks, food, clothing, history in London and Scotland
+explores alternatives for teaching deaf children to speak in 1960s
+roles of women & men, relationships & the importance of respect in 1960s
Quotes: p.63 Mrs. Hai-Ereidoun: Mother pointed out that, as learning to speak will be particularly difficult for Clair [since she is deaf] under any circumstances, it would be a pity to have her learn your pronunciations instead of our own. and so, I was wondering. Could you be an angel, and do try to speak as we do?
p.84-5 poem Abou Ben Adhem by Leigh Hunt (1800s English Romantic poet) I pray thee then, write me as one that loves his fellow man...And showed the names whom love of God had blessed. And Lo! Be Adhem's name led all the rest.
If it's my religion, so to speak to love my fellow man, I'm a failure. I don't love every single one.
Granny Aitchee's Scottish catechism lets me off the hook a little. to love God and enjoy Him includes the shortbread and the daffodils. Maybe even glutting my sorrow on the morning rose has to do with enjoying Him. and seeking out songs that will make me cry. If loving God also includes even such an imperfection as not being able to love Mrs. Hai-Ereidoun. Maybe it even includes continuing to try to love her, and failing.
321 What we [Melissa & Trever the son] believe is that this life is only a part of our lives, That before we were born was another part of the big life and that after we die is another part and we don't know how many parts there are nor what the other parts are like. All we can know is that we don't know. And that it's not our business to know, yet. I told him what Thoreau said( first I had explain who Thoreau was) when someone asked him on his deathbed if he believed in the after life. Thoreau said, "One world at a time." Seeing Trevor's reaction (a calming, a relief, a recognition) made me remember how much sense that had made to me, the first time I'd heard it. Trevor and I admit we don't know, but we sense that in dying, Nanny has become more fully joined with us now than she was when she was alive. She's integrated into Trevor now, into me now, more than any living person could be, She's in us, and we're in her. She's not just the unit called Nanny anymore but part of nature's swim. She is part of God now. I told Trevor about an old man I knew who once in while talked of "what, for want of a better term, we call God." This truck a chord with Trevor too. Since Nanny ins now part of what for want of a better term we call God, she knows how we feel, how we think, when we're wrong and when we're right, more than we can. If there is such thing as right and wrong. After all, there are always reasons for all wrong. Understanding the reasons includes forgiving. I'm not going to nanny's services and nanny knows I love her. She also knows I have reason. Maybe Nanny will help me think.
326 Tervor: Poor Melissa, when you were little, you couldn't wait to get big, so your mother couldn't boss you anymore. Now you're gown up, and My mother bosses you.
Pru: you know, Melissa. you're the free-est person I've ever met. "Me?" You are. You don't need this job. You are free to go wherever in the world you like. Trevor and I are just happy that we've had a piece of your life. "
328 I'm slimming [vs on a diet] Isn't that a good word, for saying exactly what it is. and adjective made into a verb and in a tense that says "in progress."
346 I've decided to leave a note, instead of telling Mrs. Haig-Ereidoun in person. I can't say no in person and stick with it. It sounds chicken, but it's really the opposite. I've faced my weakness, and this is one I can't conquer. Well, maybe someday. but not by tomorrow.
Nanny's Risky marmalade-life on her own terms
+beautiful, colourful descriptions of buildings, parks, food, clothing, history in London and Scotland
+explores alternatives for teaching deaf children to speak in 1960s
+roles of women & men, relationships & the importance of respect in 1960s
Quotes: p.63 Mrs. Hai-Ereidoun: Mother pointed out that, as learning to speak will be particularly difficult for Clair [since she is deaf] under any circumstances, it would be a pity to have her learn your pronunciations instead of our own. and so, I was wondering. Could you be an angel, and do try to speak as we do?
p.84-5 poem Abou Ben Adhem by Leigh Hunt (1800s English Romantic poet) I pray thee then, write me as one that loves his fellow man...And showed the names whom love of God had blessed. And Lo! Be Adhem's name led all the rest.
If it's my religion, so to speak to love my fellow man, I'm a failure. I don't love every single one.
Granny Aitchee's Scottish catechism lets me off the hook a little. to love God and enjoy Him includes the shortbread and the daffodils. Maybe even glutting my sorrow on the morning rose has to do with enjoying Him. and seeking out songs that will make me cry. If loving God also includes even such an imperfection as not being able to love Mrs. Hai-Ereidoun. Maybe it even includes continuing to try to love her, and failing.
321 What we [Melissa & Trever the son] believe is that this life is only a part of our lives, That before we were born was another part of the big life and that after we die is another part and we don't know how many parts there are nor what the other parts are like. All we can know is that we don't know. And that it's not our business to know, yet. I told him what Thoreau said( first I had explain who Thoreau was) when someone asked him on his deathbed if he believed in the after life. Thoreau said, "One world at a time." Seeing Trevor's reaction (a calming, a relief, a recognition) made me remember how much sense that had made to me, the first time I'd heard it. Trevor and I admit we don't know, but we sense that in dying, Nanny has become more fully joined with us now than she was when she was alive. She's integrated into Trevor now, into me now, more than any living person could be, She's in us, and we're in her. She's not just the unit called Nanny anymore but part of nature's swim. She is part of God now. I told Trevor about an old man I knew who once in while talked of "what, for want of a better term, we call God." This truck a chord with Trevor too. Since Nanny ins now part of what for want of a better term we call God, she knows how we feel, how we think, when we're wrong and when we're right, more than we can. If there is such thing as right and wrong. After all, there are always reasons for all wrong. Understanding the reasons includes forgiving. I'm not going to nanny's services and nanny knows I love her. She also knows I have reason. Maybe Nanny will help me think.
326 Tervor: Poor Melissa, when you were little, you couldn't wait to get big, so your mother couldn't boss you anymore. Now you're gown up, and My mother bosses you.
Pru: you know, Melissa. you're the free-est person I've ever met. "Me?" You are. You don't need this job. You are free to go wherever in the world you like. Trevor and I are just happy that we've had a piece of your life. "
328 I'm slimming [vs on a diet] Isn't that a good word, for saying exactly what it is. and adjective made into a verb and in a tense that says "in progress."
346 I've decided to leave a note, instead of telling Mrs. Haig-Ereidoun in person. I can't say no in person and stick with it. It sounds chicken, but it's really the opposite. I've faced my weakness, and this is one I can't conquer. Well, maybe someday. but not by tomorrow.
Nanny's Risky marmalade-life on her own terms
June 13, 2024
"After losing her advertising job in San Francisco and canceling her wedding, Melissa impetuously heads across the Atlantic to a new job as an au pair to the family of a Member of Parliament. But the minority aristocratic Haig-Ereildouns' household falls far short of Melissa's imaginings. Straddling her ill-defined role (somewhere between houseguest and servant) with humor and grace, Melissa immerses herself in this thoroughly exotic new culture: conversing with Sottish fishermen, frequenting island castles, and befriending a mysterious young Englishman miles from her fiance in every way. To her surprise, Melissa learns more than she could possibly have imagined not only about the strange world she has come to inhabit but, most importantly, about herself."
~~back cover
This book wasn't quite what I thought it would be -- I imagined a tour through English life and countryside and it wasn't necessarily either. I was appalled at the way she was treated by Mrs. Haig-Ereildoun and couldn't imagine why she chose to stay and put up with it. The Haig-Ereildouns were far from an ordinary English couple (although perhaps they are ordinary & I just don't know the English people was well as I think I do.)
Most of the book was ordinary to the point of almost boredom, but then Nanny died from eating ducks' eggs and the ways different people in the family coped with that tragic loss was very intersting. Most interesting of all was Melissa finally growing a backbone and coming to terms with her overeating and her general lack of assertiveness.
In some ways, the book seemed like chick lit, but in the end it was a nice little treatise on finding yourself under difficult circumstances (and in the end, isn't that when we all find ourselves -- when we're forced to deal with difficult circumstances?)
~~back cover
This book wasn't quite what I thought it would be -- I imagined a tour through English life and countryside and it wasn't necessarily either. I was appalled at the way she was treated by Mrs. Haig-Ereildoun and couldn't imagine why she chose to stay and put up with it. The Haig-Ereildouns were far from an ordinary English couple (although perhaps they are ordinary & I just don't know the English people was well as I think I do.)
Most of the book was ordinary to the point of almost boredom, but then Nanny died from eating ducks' eggs and the ways different people in the family coped with that tragic loss was very intersting. Most interesting of all was Melissa finally growing a backbone and coming to terms with her overeating and her general lack of assertiveness.
In some ways, the book seemed like chick lit, but in the end it was a nice little treatise on finding yourself under difficult circumstances (and in the end, isn't that when we all find ourselves -- when we're forced to deal with difficult circumstances?)
July 5, 2013
This is a highly readable book, and an enjoyable one - I finished it in a very short time once I'd gotten underway - but also (as the British upper-crust "we" of the title might say) a bit muddled. The putative narrator is from Oregon and San Francisco; yet early on in the book, while she's still trying to sort out her Englishes, she gets a note from her young nieces in Oregon who say that a party they went to was "spoilt" (a spelling that no American kid would even think of trying, unless they'd done a lot of reading of Harry Potter).
Which brings me to my second quibble. She is so surprised by a number of English expressions that one gets the very strong feeling that this narrator has never (a) read Harry Potter, nor (b) read much English-English writing (although she's supposed to have been a lit major), nor (c) watched anything, ever, on the BBC, even via PBS. She's also very unworldly about sex, in a way that makes her seem an artifact of an earlier era. Which, I suspect, she is; the description of everything is so vivid, and so clearly set in the 1960s or maybe early 1970s, I was surprised when early on the narrator refers to "Merchant Ivory", as in the films, which didn't exist yet.
She seems, for instance, never to have heard of or used something called the Internet, although she's meant to be a contemporary young woman in her early 20s. Instead of using Skype, she calls her boyfriend in California collect, on the telephone, once using a public phone box and feeding in coin after coin. She writes all of her diary entries by hand, and mails - yes, through the post - letters home, and even (once she has achieved some success as a writer) sends her columns to the Chronicle that way. She is obsessed with her weight, but seems not to understand the concept of counting calories, drummed into everyone in America since at least the mid-80s.
The environment she finds in England also seems an artifact of an earlier era, a pre-Thatcher, hangdog England, carrying baggage from the War in the form of poor indoor heating and deep-seated frugality. (Five people share the same bathwater, for reasons that seem entirely unnecessary -- unless one had just lived through wartime and had gotten used to that sort of thing, as is said of the woman she works for - which, if this were taking place in the 1960s, would have at least made some sense.) (Hmm, she also says at one point that the woman is 38; far too young to have lived through the privations of World War II London.)
I saved reading the author's bio until I was finished with the book, but I was not surprised to see that she was much older than the narrator, was from San Francisco, and had once served as an au pair in England. As a period novel set in the mid-1960s, this could have been a gem. As a supposedly contemporary novel, it was enjoyable, and deeper than might be expected at the start; but all the distracting anachronisms made it seem as if the narrator had not only traveled the Atlantic, but also back in time.
Which brings me to my second quibble. She is so surprised by a number of English expressions that one gets the very strong feeling that this narrator has never (a) read Harry Potter, nor (b) read much English-English writing (although she's supposed to have been a lit major), nor (c) watched anything, ever, on the BBC, even via PBS. She's also very unworldly about sex, in a way that makes her seem an artifact of an earlier era. Which, I suspect, she is; the description of everything is so vivid, and so clearly set in the 1960s or maybe early 1970s, I was surprised when early on the narrator refers to "Merchant Ivory", as in the films, which didn't exist yet.
She seems, for instance, never to have heard of or used something called the Internet, although she's meant to be a contemporary young woman in her early 20s. Instead of using Skype, she calls her boyfriend in California collect, on the telephone, once using a public phone box and feeding in coin after coin. She writes all of her diary entries by hand, and mails - yes, through the post - letters home, and even (once she has achieved some success as a writer) sends her columns to the Chronicle that way. She is obsessed with her weight, but seems not to understand the concept of counting calories, drummed into everyone in America since at least the mid-80s.
The environment she finds in England also seems an artifact of an earlier era, a pre-Thatcher, hangdog England, carrying baggage from the War in the form of poor indoor heating and deep-seated frugality. (Five people share the same bathwater, for reasons that seem entirely unnecessary -- unless one had just lived through wartime and had gotten used to that sort of thing, as is said of the woman she works for - which, if this were taking place in the 1960s, would have at least made some sense.) (Hmm, she also says at one point that the woman is 38; far too young to have lived through the privations of World War II London.)
I saved reading the author's bio until I was finished with the book, but I was not surprised to see that she was much older than the narrator, was from San Francisco, and had once served as an au pair in England. As a period novel set in the mid-1960s, this could have been a gem. As a supposedly contemporary novel, it was enjoyable, and deeper than might be expected at the start; but all the distracting anachronisms made it seem as if the narrator had not only traveled the Atlantic, but also back in time.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 1, 2016
If you appreciate a very descriptive book then this book is for you. I do appreciate a good book and i do not particularly have a 'type' and enjoy giving everything a go, however i found this book particularly hard to get into and keep on track with.
I would regularly get confused with what was going on and would have to go back and read it again.. sometimes still leaving me confused. I finished the book because i could not start and leave it... but other than a few obvious facts and I guess a diary of an aupair i don't really understand how it ended!
Fantastic descriptive book which lets you into the life of the so called 'rich' and allows you to see things from the side of a light hearted american girl
I would regularly get confused with what was going on and would have to go back and read it again.. sometimes still leaving me confused. I finished the book because i could not start and leave it... but other than a few obvious facts and I guess a diary of an aupair i don't really understand how it ended!
Fantastic descriptive book which lets you into the life of the so called 'rich' and allows you to see things from the side of a light hearted american girl
November 20, 2018
You can often identify “chick lit” by the style of the jacket illustration, and this is definitely one of them. (Not a put-down; I read and enjoy a lot of contemporary light fiction written by and purportedly for, women.) Melissa is a slightly zaftig young woman, late 20s, from Oregon, who lost her job with a San Francisco ad agency, and then lost her apartment, and then broke her engagement -- and decides “what the hell” and takes an offer of short-term employment in Britain asau pairand nanny to the three children of a Member of Parliament. The family hasn’t much money -- by British aristocratic standards -- and Melissa ends up being bullied into seventy hours a week of housekeeping, cooking, and general dogs-body duties by Mrs. Haig-Ereildoun, who’s a real piece of work. Melissa just can’t say “no,” and she’s almost pathological in her attention to her duties, and even though she hates the way she’s treated -- as a servant and a cultureless American -- she stays on, month after month. The youngest child, Claire, who’s three, is deaf, and much of Melissa’s job involves spending time with her and developing her vocabulary, at which she’s extremely successful. But Melissa’s pathetic self-image, and her general wimpiness, and her inability to deal with commitment when it comes to guys, and her unbelievable naivete about Britain -- an American university graduate who made a living with her writing not knowing that “lorry” is Brit-speak for “truck”? -- make her a not very sympathetic character. The story improves in the last third, as she gets involved in serious cooking, gets paid for writing columns about her culinary experiences for the newspaper back home, and begins to understand herself a bit better. But in the earlier chapters, you just want to shake her.
September 11, 2011
Second time of reading and I still enjoyed it. The Diary of an American Au Pair is exactly that - Melissa is the American Au Pair, previously employee of an Advertising company who decides to take some time out in England, finding herself after her wedding to Tedward is called off.
Through her writing we discover that Melissa always seems to just fall into things with no planning, she is a bit of a drip, a doormat, taken for granted by her un-endearing boyfriend in America, treated like a complete nobody by her employee, not sure where she stands with new friend Simon and only truly comfortable with the three children she looks after. However, we come to understand Melissa and feel some empathy with her and after becoming friends with Nanny, the original and ageing, retired family Nanny, Melissa comes to understand herself and her circumstances a little better.
Melissa's observations of the English way of life and the English upper class person's view of Americans are funny, though I'm not sure strictly real.
By the end Melissa has got a bit of gumption and with the readers backing, becasue by this time, we are cheering her on, has made changes for the better.
Not a fluffy novel by any means, certainly gives the reader food for thought about the au pair question and relationships in general. Characters come across as caricatures but that just adds to the humour.
Through her writing we discover that Melissa always seems to just fall into things with no planning, she is a bit of a drip, a doormat, taken for granted by her un-endearing boyfriend in America, treated like a complete nobody by her employee, not sure where she stands with new friend Simon and only truly comfortable with the three children she looks after. However, we come to understand Melissa and feel some empathy with her and after becoming friends with Nanny, the original and ageing, retired family Nanny, Melissa comes to understand herself and her circumstances a little better.
Melissa's observations of the English way of life and the English upper class person's view of Americans are funny, though I'm not sure strictly real.
By the end Melissa has got a bit of gumption and with the readers backing, becasue by this time, we are cheering her on, has made changes for the better.
Not a fluffy novel by any means, certainly gives the reader food for thought about the au pair question and relationships in general. Characters come across as caricatures but that just adds to the humour.
August 30, 2010
This book was very interesting as a contrast between current (2001) Britsh and American cultures. Upper class British - MP's family - need Au Pair for their three children, one of whom, a 3-year-old, is deaf. The young American (23?) just fired from her job in San Francisco, and running away from a wedding she does/doesnot want, takes the job. The wife/mother/ Priscilla haig-Ereildoun, is a monster --- demanding rediculous levels of precision in ironing! and cleaning, preparing meals, etc., that are really not part of the Au Pair's job. She takes advantage of Melissa in every way possible, and is insulting in every way possible. Mesissa "takes it" because she is the most unassertive person you have ever met! This is chick lit --- how theheroine develops a backbone, and stands up for herself, and finds true love and a career. But it is charming, and a look at how the poorer (and richer) of the British elite live today.
July 28, 2009
This was quick and mostly fun, a first person novel about being an American nanny for an English family. A good deal of it is indeed that voyeuristic trend of finger-wagging at mothers behaving badly. The aspects I liked the most were the general "fish out of water" parts, I think the author did a great job of describing the experience of being a young person working in a different country -- the times when it's great, the times when it's educational, the times when it's maddening, and the times when it is downright weird. For the life of me, I couldn't muster up any interest in the romance parts of the plot -- they felt very forced to me, like the author couldn't muster up much interest either and then overcompensated by making things a little too wacky on this front.
Grade B
Recommended: To people who have worked abroad, and to Americans who enjoy visiting the UK.
2008/8
Grade B
Recommended: To people who have worked abroad, and to Americans who enjoy visiting the UK.
2008/8
May 6, 2011
This one was recommended by Nancy Pearl in "Book Lust to Go", and it charmed me. On the surface, it looks like a "Nanny Diaries in London", as early 20-ish Melissa, newly laid off from a San Francisco advertising job and fighting a severe case of 'post-engagement cold feet', takes a post as an au pair for the three childrean of a Scottish MP and his wife (who is horrid enough to give "Nanny Diaries" Mrs. X a run for her money). But the writing is good enough ( "Another day, glutting my sorrow on daffodils..." ), and the characters well-developed enough, that it becomes chick-lit in the very best sense of the term. And I must give it the ultimate compliment: I got teary at the end, which is really, really rare for me, especially these days. Not everyone can pull that off--Nancy Pearl's recommendations are not to be taken lightly.
November 11, 2013
I honestly don`t know what to say about this. Melissa travels to the UK to take on a job as a nanny. She is introduced to a family with three kids. Melissa has a fiancee, Tedward and Simon, friend?
I bought this book, because it takes place in Scotland and England. I liked to get to know more about differences in use of English in the UK and the US.
But.. There was so much narration. I like dialogues. Melissa had the need to describe everything. Everything. Starting from the houses she lived in. Rooms. People. Food. Process of making food. I understand this was written in order for us to get a better image of things, but for me it seemed there was not room for much else. Nothing special happened to interest me. I did enjoy comparing use of words but for me it lacked something.. more.
I bought this book, because it takes place in Scotland and England. I liked to get to know more about differences in use of English in the UK and the US.
But.. There was so much narration. I like dialogues. Melissa had the need to describe everything. Everything. Starting from the houses she lived in. Rooms. People. Food. Process of making food. I understand this was written in order for us to get a better image of things, but for me it seemed there was not room for much else. Nothing special happened to interest me. I did enjoy comparing use of words but for me it lacked something.. more.
September 15, 2008
I can see why other people didn't like this book very much, as nothing big really happens. But I really liked it becuase I related to it so well. Other than the engaged to be married part, or the au pair part, or the being skinny part, I was Melissa once apon a time. I'm from Oregon, as she is, and I went off to live in London, as she did, I got confussed with the English lingo (eg bathroom vs wc or loo), as she did, lives for the moment, as she does, and gained 10 pounds off of digestives, as she did. I loved reading about her time in London as I absolutely love that city. I really wish I could experience Scotland like she did though. I def want to own this book and write in it like I do with other books (I borrowed this copy from a friend).
October 26, 2010
This was a kind of fun, kind of easy read. Very similar to "The Nanny Diaries", but different enough that it didn't feel like I was reading the same story by a different author (I hate that!). I loved the comparisons of life in the US and in Great Britain. I can't get enough of England (yeah, I'm pretty much an Anglophile). I found the main character, Melissa, likable enough, but a little too flaky and/or passive. She made a lot of very spur of the moment decisions and could never stick to her convictions (if she had any in the first place), so it just bugged me throughout. I liked the book, but not enough that I'll actually want to read it again.
December 10, 2012
I enjoyed the narrator more than the plot, which was a little plodding and meandering for my tastes, but it held my interest the whole way through. And the book had a few twists that I did not expect, which was a welcome surprise. Also, of course, as an American who reads and watches a lot of stuff about English and Scottish people, I really liked her position as an American among the Brits. That made for some good anecdotes -- like how everyone thought it was so funny when she said "sure" instead of "yes." The ending was wholly satisfying, if a little sad. But then, the whole book was a little sad. It's not really a lighthearted read at all.
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