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No Disrespect
From the #1 New York Times bestselling author, rapper, and activist—Sister Souljah uses her passionate voice to deliver what is at once a fiercely candid autobiography and a survival manual for any Black woman determined to keep her heart open and her integrity intact in modern America.
Each chapter of No Disrespect is devoted to someone who made a difference in Sister Souljah’s life—from the mother who raised her to the men who educated (and mis-educated) her about love—and each bares a controversial truth about the Black condition in America: the disintegration of families; the unremitting combat between the sexes; and the thousand and one ways in which racism continues to circumscribe how Black people see themselves and treat one another.
The result is an outspoken and often courageous rejoinder to the pieties of race, class, and gender by a writer who is at once wise, bawdy, brutally funny, and as sensitive a lightning rod in a thunderstorm.
Each chapter of No Disrespect is devoted to someone who made a difference in Sister Souljah’s life—from the mother who raised her to the men who educated (and mis-educated) her about love—and each bares a controversial truth about the Black condition in America: the disintegration of families; the unremitting combat between the sexes; and the thousand and one ways in which racism continues to circumscribe how Black people see themselves and treat one another.
The result is an outspoken and often courageous rejoinder to the pieties of race, class, and gender by a writer who is at once wise, bawdy, brutally funny, and as sensitive a lightning rod in a thunderstorm.
364 pages, Paperback
First published December 27, 1994
About the author
Sister Souljah
22books2,643followersSister Souljah (born Lisa Williamson) was born in 1964 in New York City. She attended Cornell University's advanced placement summer program and Spain's University of Salamanca study-abroad program. She later majored in American history and African studies at Rutgers University. Her travels and lectures have taken her all over America, Europe, and Africa. In the mid-1980s, she founded, in cooperation with the United Church of Christ, the African Youth Survival Camp, located in Enfield, North Carolina, for children of homeless families. In 1992, her rap album,360 Degrees of Power,and video, "Slavery's Back in Effect," catapulted her to national attention. She lives in New York with her husband and son.
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February 4, 2010Do not mess with a married at all, ever, for any reason. It does not matter what he tells you. He may say he’s getting a divorce. Wait until he gets one before you go anywhere with him, before you touch him, before you kiss him, even before you have a lot of conversation with him. He will tell you he doesn’t love his wife. Or he will tell you he does love his wife, but not the same way he loves you. He will tell you that the two of you can be together forever. He will tell you that he’s only with his wife because he loves his children. Then he will say he doesn’t love her. He will tell you he hasn’t slept with his wife for months. No matter what he tells you, don’t go for it. Do not mess with a married man. He will take your sex and go back to his wife. You will end up crying and in pain. Moreover, by messing with a married man you will be helping to destroy a family, an African family, which already is struggling to survive. To steal away with the father of someone else’s children is wrong. You would not want it done to you once you get married. Remember: Anything a married tells you is a lie because, after all, he already promised God that he would honor his marriage. If he lied to God, the preacher, the state, and his wife, he will certainly lie to you. 357
October 13, 2015
I really did hate the narrator. She's self-inflated, hypocritical and thinks her body is some kind of gift to the world that no guy can resist. I like how real and honest about her feelings she is, but I just don't like her at all. She claims to be all about Black pride and building the Black family, but goes out of her way t seduce & entrap a married black leader in her community. Then she justifies it by saying it's the ugly by-product of racism, and there aren't many good black men left so women must share, and polygamy was practised in Africa before colonial influence. Blah blah blah! Just say you want to go after a married man, and let it be. Then she scolds her old college friend for being a lesbian, her main point being that homosexuality destroys Black families & lesbians are just confused women who've been hurt by men. She was ready to make all types of excuses when she was seducing a married man (thus consciously destroying a present, real black family) but quick to judge gay people who are looking for single partners, and not harming any immediate family. I do get her point to an extent but the hypocrisy is just... I also really don't like her pickings with men. The good guys (like the friend of her first college boyfriend) are always boring or "suckers" to her, while she is inexplicably (and quite quickly) deeply in love with men with aggressive traits or no real ambition or some kind of obvious flaw. And when all these relationships keep falling apart she blames society, racism, white supremacy, bad parenting, the men themselves, but she doesn't look inward and question herself. I hate this lack of self-doubt about her, well maybe not self-doubt but I believe every intelligent person questions their actions or motives at least once. She never does this. She immediately considers herself as better-looking than every woman around and is convinced that a guy desperately loves her because he's actively trying to have sex with her. Not as experienced & worldly as she'd have us think, obviously. In the end, I'm glad she learnt her lessons & I loved this story. It was interesting, though I don't think I'll be reading it again.
May 12, 2017
Loved this story!
Her fiction work makes a lot more sense after reading this memoir on her life!
I can see snips of all of her peers in the characters of her subsequent books.
Souljah is controversial in nature and though I do not agree with every sentiment depicted in this work I must admit it does open forum for conversation. Instead of the latest reality tv shows and shallow fashions, we should be talking about the advancement of our people.
But I digress from the soapbox...(save for another outlet)
This story, like Midnight is book of tremendous literary importance.
A must read!
Her fiction work makes a lot more sense after reading this memoir on her life!
I can see snips of all of her peers in the characters of her subsequent books.
Souljah is controversial in nature and though I do not agree with every sentiment depicted in this work I must admit it does open forum for conversation. Instead of the latest reality tv shows and shallow fashions, we should be talking about the advancement of our people.
But I digress from the soapbox...(save for another outlet)
This story, like Midnight is book of tremendous literary importance.
A must read!
October 17, 2012
Finally! I got to read this one...which admittedly I wasn't warmed by the opening. It took turning to a page just about in the middle of the book, (page 109 to be exact), and reading from there for a few pages before going back to the beginning to understand this woman's philosophies, and where she's coming from.
After that, from beginning to end I didn't want to close the book. Anyone who advocates for children wins me over, before and after all else. Of course there is much more to Sister Souljah's autobiography than the children she crusades for; she had to go through some things before reaching a platform from which she could stage her fight to help empower disenfranchised children.
Other engaging spots were her relationship with her family, and as well other relationships... Nathan (of course being the premier), but also Joseph...(Sonya's spiel was truly potent), and Chance I just adored...at first! And that incident in Baltimore had me in stitches. Oh, that was a special kind of hilarious. Nikki was interesting, and also that talk on lesbianism with Mona. Tusani, and her mother Nita, just may have been the most stirring. It was the message behind the mother's message that I found tremendous; one where although it wasn't written, I felt wasn't lost on Sister Souljah either--the other thing I found impressive...her openness to hear what the people she was trying to help, and as well all of those she forged relationships with, were saying.
I highly recommend `No Disrespect.' I really want to go on and on here, but in summary this work is as compassionate as it is passionate, intellectual, and outstanding.
After that, from beginning to end I didn't want to close the book. Anyone who advocates for children wins me over, before and after all else. Of course there is much more to Sister Souljah's autobiography than the children she crusades for; she had to go through some things before reaching a platform from which she could stage her fight to help empower disenfranchised children.
Other engaging spots were her relationship with her family, and as well other relationships... Nathan (of course being the premier), but also Joseph...(Sonya's spiel was truly potent), and Chance I just adored...at first! And that incident in Baltimore had me in stitches. Oh, that was a special kind of hilarious. Nikki was interesting, and also that talk on lesbianism with Mona. Tusani, and her mother Nita, just may have been the most stirring. It was the message behind the mother's message that I found tremendous; one where although it wasn't written, I felt wasn't lost on Sister Souljah either--the other thing I found impressive...her openness to hear what the people she was trying to help, and as well all of those she forged relationships with, were saying.
I highly recommend `No Disrespect.' I really want to go on and on here, but in summary this work is as compassionate as it is passionate, intellectual, and outstanding.
August 2, 2015
This author certainly has no dearth of self love. She can’t go anywhere without first a puja to the intelligent.powerful.strong.beautiful.giving.insightful.tireless.spiritual.educated.brilliant-sister souljah. It seems everyone she interacts with reminds her of all of these fine qualities. So she reminds us.
i admit i am not from an oppressed racial group and my invisible backpack is loaded with givens, but is it really necessary to CONSTANTLY be self aggrandizing to feel ok about oneself? i think the repetitive i’m-so-awesome really diminished the rest of the writing.
And OH how disappointing her homophobia is. She refers to CHOOSING to be gay and implies that ‘choice’ to be a lesbian must have resulted from being hurt by a man in the past. She rattles off ‘focus on the family’ hate crap like “sex between two women cannot bring about life. It’s impossible because it wasn’t meant to be.” That is about as intelligent as saying all the descendants of Ham should be servants.
She talks about the importance of living with the people whose genetics you share. Like that happens in the straight world? And, in direct contradistinction to the research, says that same sex parents screw up their children. She reminds us that the Bible, the Quran and the Torah say same-sex love is wrong. Wonder if she knows that the Bible and the Torah also say (in the same book of the Bible) that it is ok to own slaves, (Leviticus 25:44), that you can sell your daughter into slavery (Exodus 21:7) and that eating shellfish is an “abomination” (Lev.11:10) - the same word that Bible used for same-sex love. Are there degrees of abomination? And if we are all made in the image of God (p 253)- why does God consistently make 10-15% of us INHERENTLY homosexual if that isn’t perfect too?
Dear Sister: gays don’t choose to be gay anymore than you chose to be black, or i chose to be short.
The book covers episodes - sometimes quite disjointed, from her life; bad choices (gay boyfriend, followed by an affair with a married preacher) included. And some very sad vignettes (a ‘throw-away' 12 year old hooker being bamboozled by her 40+ year old pimp, a pathetic adolescent Tusani whose life is severely crippled by her unconscionable crackhead, hateful “mother”, well, egg donor). Violence, misogyny, & the devaluation of education are all sickeningly present.
She often mentions her love for her people - but casually insults them as group as in (p 258) “Plus, most blacks are so weak-minded that...they could not stay focused on their agenda…” What?!
There is a deep seated misogyny evident throughout the book. At the end she does a “listen up!” with info on what one should and should not do. She then goes on to make taboo all the sh*t she just described to us as having done - “stealing” another woman’s man, sleeping with a married man, even lying about pregnancy. Interesting that she had a ready rationalization for her actions then, huh? She says “Many men are locked up in prison today because they took some silly woman seriously” and advises that you not speak to your girlfriends about the positives of your man because “Your girlfriends will become jealous and they will screw your man.” Grab a red pencil and let’s review what’s wrong with that statement: first please get yourself some new girlfriends and work on your definition of FRIEND. Usually that includes folks who won’t betray you. Second - he has no decision making apparatus? “they will screw your man” seems to indicate that he didn’t, oh by the way, screw them too. If this is such a tenuous & real possibility isn’t it time to find someone else, perhaps someone you can trust?
If she truly loves all Africans, she needs to work on her love for her sisters.
i admit i am not from an oppressed racial group and my invisible backpack is loaded with givens, but is it really necessary to CONSTANTLY be self aggrandizing to feel ok about oneself? i think the repetitive i’m-so-awesome really diminished the rest of the writing.
And OH how disappointing her homophobia is. She refers to CHOOSING to be gay and implies that ‘choice’ to be a lesbian must have resulted from being hurt by a man in the past. She rattles off ‘focus on the family’ hate crap like “sex between two women cannot bring about life. It’s impossible because it wasn’t meant to be.” That is about as intelligent as saying all the descendants of Ham should be servants.
She talks about the importance of living with the people whose genetics you share. Like that happens in the straight world? And, in direct contradistinction to the research, says that same sex parents screw up their children. She reminds us that the Bible, the Quran and the Torah say same-sex love is wrong. Wonder if she knows that the Bible and the Torah also say (in the same book of the Bible) that it is ok to own slaves, (Leviticus 25:44), that you can sell your daughter into slavery (Exodus 21:7) and that eating shellfish is an “abomination” (Lev.11:10) - the same word that Bible used for same-sex love. Are there degrees of abomination? And if we are all made in the image of God (p 253)- why does God consistently make 10-15% of us INHERENTLY homosexual if that isn’t perfect too?
Dear Sister: gays don’t choose to be gay anymore than you chose to be black, or i chose to be short.
The book covers episodes - sometimes quite disjointed, from her life; bad choices (gay boyfriend, followed by an affair with a married preacher) included. And some very sad vignettes (a ‘throw-away' 12 year old hooker being bamboozled by her 40+ year old pimp, a pathetic adolescent Tusani whose life is severely crippled by her unconscionable crackhead, hateful “mother”, well, egg donor). Violence, misogyny, & the devaluation of education are all sickeningly present.
She often mentions her love for her people - but casually insults them as group as in (p 258) “Plus, most blacks are so weak-minded that...they could not stay focused on their agenda…” What?!
There is a deep seated misogyny evident throughout the book. At the end she does a “listen up!” with info on what one should and should not do. She then goes on to make taboo all the sh*t she just described to us as having done - “stealing” another woman’s man, sleeping with a married man, even lying about pregnancy. Interesting that she had a ready rationalization for her actions then, huh? She says “Many men are locked up in prison today because they took some silly woman seriously” and advises that you not speak to your girlfriends about the positives of your man because “Your girlfriends will become jealous and they will screw your man.” Grab a red pencil and let’s review what’s wrong with that statement: first please get yourself some new girlfriends and work on your definition of FRIEND. Usually that includes folks who won’t betray you. Second - he has no decision making apparatus? “they will screw your man” seems to indicate that he didn’t, oh by the way, screw them too. If this is such a tenuous & real possibility isn’t it time to find someone else, perhaps someone you can trust?
If she truly loves all Africans, she needs to work on her love for her sisters.
April 12, 2011
I really appreciated this book just because of its gritty personal truth. Sister Souljah lets us into very private and defining moments of her life and I appreciated her honesty. The book honestly made me want to write her a letter. I do have to say I was rather shocked by the opinions she drew mainly concerning sexuality and the black man. She comes down on homosexuality in such a personal way that I wish I could dialogue with her on the issue especially since she seems to have such wildly unfortunate experiences in relation to both sexes. I found it incredibly interesting and also a unique look into some of the possible reasons for homophobia in the African American community, and while I would have to strongly disagree, I appreciated this unique look into the thoughts and feelings of Miss Souljah none the less.
July 19, 2010
I was very dissapointed when i read no disrespect. It not only showed disrespect it was racist, biast and that girl was the most judgemental person I ever read about. I absolutely think this book is degrading and not a book I would even reccomend to the most annoying people. I hate the character because she never tells her name for one. Then she goes around sleeping with other peoples men talking about "there isn't that many men in the world. So we should share them". I think that this character is very dumb and she couldn't even keep herself from getting played by every man she layed eyes on. They all used her and played her or turned gay. She ended up with no man to rely on which is her fault and I absolutely don't give a two cents about this character. this was a terrible book.
June 18, 2012
Sister Souljah's memoir is surprisingly naive, homophobic, and racist. It is tragic in its juxtaposition of a close-minded prejudice with the searching of someone who so badly wants to learn, be educated and think outside the box. Finally, the cultural Pan-Africanism Souljah's protagonist values so much is the worst kind of insult to the diverse and distinct African (or of African descent) cultures that inhabit the world. Skip it and read some Frantz Fanon instead.
November 17, 2012
After reading Coldest Winter Ever, and then reading this book, I can honestly say that Sister souljah's style of writing grates on me. I gave the book three stars because there were aspects of it that I appreciated, but overall I found her to be quite vulgar and vacuous.
She has a way of writing which translates as a sort of self-righteousness as opposed to self-love which is imagine to be purer. She barely mentioned other women who were doing positive things, the focus only seemed to be on women who weren't as "enlightened" as herself.
I got really annoyed at her notion that homosexuality in the black community is a result of white supremacy. Also her notion that women are only lesbians because they have been hurt by men, is an illogical and disrespectful idea.
I tired of her before I got to the end of the book and I doubt I'll be running out to buy any more of her drivel, oops, I meant work.
September 16, 2021
I have to admit that Sister Souljah is one of my three favorite female writers. Ever since I read The Coldest Winter Ever, I have been blown away by her excellent writing, her depth and breadth of knowledge, and her ability to create and sustain memorable characters, whether in fiction or non-fiction.
While I was reading No Disrespect, I have also been struggling through Eldridge Cleaver’s Soul on Ice, and the difference between the two writers is amazing. Cleaver seems he’ll-bent on shocking his readers, while Souljah wants to resonate with and educate hers.
Now, bearing in mind that I am hardly Sister Souljah’s target demographic, I can only hope and pray that she knows she has readers of other demographics, and that she keeps writing her books, which are so important. (I also hope that one day in whatever life I have left, I will get to meet this most remarkable writer and tell her just how much her work means to this old, Jewish woman.)
While I was reading No Disrespect, I have also been struggling through Eldridge Cleaver’s Soul on Ice, and the difference between the two writers is amazing. Cleaver seems he’ll-bent on shocking his readers, while Souljah wants to resonate with and educate hers.
Now, bearing in mind that I am hardly Sister Souljah’s target demographic, I can only hope and pray that she knows she has readers of other demographics, and that she keeps writing her books, which are so important. (I also hope that one day in whatever life I have left, I will get to meet this most remarkable writer and tell her just how much her work means to this old, Jewish woman.)
August 23, 2007
read this:
"*soul food*
I don't remember what led me to read No Disrespect. Maybe it was the title, the way it subtely declared that she intended to tell her story, even at the risk of unconsciously offending some while attempting to uplift others. But she was making a declaration right from the jump - no disrespect. No disrespect intended, and none accepted. Hmm, I liked that.
It might have been the grainy black and white photo of her on the cover, the serious look in her eyes, her pretty, youthful face cocked to the side, finger to temple Malcolm X-style. She looked powerful and thoughtful, and those eyes were like an open invitation into the mind of a womban on a mission. I liked that to.
I liked the title and I liked the cover, and although I had heard that old, familiar adage a million times, I judged anyway - this looked like a book I would like. So I bought it, and I consumed her story like I was coming off of a forty day fast; hungrily, because I had not been fed such useful knowledge in quite some time, and quickly, eager to vanquish that hunger for knowledge. And when I was done, I was full, my mind fat with things to remember and ideas to explore.
It was through this book that I was introduced to Sister Souljah. I was just a preschooler when her powerful political raps and incendiary form of black activism made waves in the music industry, the Black community, and America at large, leaving consciousness and rebelutionary fire in their wakes. Thankfully, she documented her personal growth, experiences, and struggles in No Disrespect so that we of younger generations could learn from it and use it to help progress our people and culture. Both before and after her book was published, she was planting seeds of wisdom by giving lectures and speeches and hosting discussions about issues important to Black youth, explaining why we have to want to change this world and gain physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual freedom not just for ourselves or our immediate friends and families, but for the future of Black people across the Diaspora. Beyond the whys and what fors, she offered useful how tos, pushing us from contemplation into action.
EMAIL ME FOR MORE... "
"*soul food*
I don't remember what led me to read No Disrespect. Maybe it was the title, the way it subtely declared that she intended to tell her story, even at the risk of unconsciously offending some while attempting to uplift others. But she was making a declaration right from the jump - no disrespect. No disrespect intended, and none accepted. Hmm, I liked that.
It might have been the grainy black and white photo of her on the cover, the serious look in her eyes, her pretty, youthful face cocked to the side, finger to temple Malcolm X-style. She looked powerful and thoughtful, and those eyes were like an open invitation into the mind of a womban on a mission. I liked that to.
I liked the title and I liked the cover, and although I had heard that old, familiar adage a million times, I judged anyway - this looked like a book I would like. So I bought it, and I consumed her story like I was coming off of a forty day fast; hungrily, because I had not been fed such useful knowledge in quite some time, and quickly, eager to vanquish that hunger for knowledge. And when I was done, I was full, my mind fat with things to remember and ideas to explore.
It was through this book that I was introduced to Sister Souljah. I was just a preschooler when her powerful political raps and incendiary form of black activism made waves in the music industry, the Black community, and America at large, leaving consciousness and rebelutionary fire in their wakes. Thankfully, she documented her personal growth, experiences, and struggles in No Disrespect so that we of younger generations could learn from it and use it to help progress our people and culture. Both before and after her book was published, she was planting seeds of wisdom by giving lectures and speeches and hosting discussions about issues important to Black youth, explaining why we have to want to change this world and gain physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual freedom not just for ourselves or our immediate friends and families, but for the future of Black people across the Diaspora. Beyond the whys and what fors, she offered useful how tos, pushing us from contemplation into action.
EMAIL ME FOR MORE... "
May 17, 2009
Sister Souljah is a wonderful writer to me. everything seems to be true in one way or another. even if one of her books is taking place back in the day,the problems she relates to still seem to be the same.
sister souljah puts her self in everyone of her books, using her name and her on character.
i think one of the reasons she has so much respect is because she is more than just a writer,she is involved in the community also.
No disrespect was about a young girl. she always looked up to her mother as her role modle. until her mother started doing bad herself.
then she noticed how weak her mother her mother had become in a short period of time which made her wanna go out better herself.
so now while the girl is college,she comes across a few men but dosen't let them approach her because she doesn't want to end up like her mother.
One thing i liked most about this book is the fact that everything was true in real life today. She talked about men being gay and scared to come,because of the type of enviroment they are in. Also, the fact that people are still just a racist as they wanna be. there is also a a part where she talks about drug addictions and why they become such a bad habbit.
There was one section where the main character meet a man who was very attractive. When they started becoming more involve with each other she noticed that he was acting a little nervous. after they shred a night together he told her that he couldn't see her anymore,but never stated a reason. Until a month later she ran into him at a bar and he had been so drunk that he couldn't make it home alone. So her being the generous person she was in this book, she helped him to her dorm and that's when he explained that the reason for the break-up was because he was bisexual.
Aeading that part made me upset. I think he could have told her this before. After reading this book it made me look at everybody in a new perspective. Just because a person doesn't look gay or bisexual doesn't mean they aren't.
if you had a chance i recommend that you read this book.
sister souljah puts her self in everyone of her books, using her name and her on character.
i think one of the reasons she has so much respect is because she is more than just a writer,she is involved in the community also.
No disrespect was about a young girl. she always looked up to her mother as her role modle. until her mother started doing bad herself.
then she noticed how weak her mother her mother had become in a short period of time which made her wanna go out better herself.
so now while the girl is college,she comes across a few men but dosen't let them approach her because she doesn't want to end up like her mother.
One thing i liked most about this book is the fact that everything was true in real life today. She talked about men being gay and scared to come,because of the type of enviroment they are in. Also, the fact that people are still just a racist as they wanna be. there is also a a part where she talks about drug addictions and why they become such a bad habbit.
There was one section where the main character meet a man who was very attractive. When they started becoming more involve with each other she noticed that he was acting a little nervous. after they shred a night together he told her that he couldn't see her anymore,but never stated a reason. Until a month later she ran into him at a bar and he had been so drunk that he couldn't make it home alone. So her being the generous person she was in this book, she helped him to her dorm and that's when he explained that the reason for the break-up was because he was bisexual.
Aeading that part made me upset. I think he could have told her this before. After reading this book it made me look at everybody in a new perspective. Just because a person doesn't look gay or bisexual doesn't mean they aren't.
if you had a chance i recommend that you read this book.
June 18, 2014
wow this book was not what i expected. I hated the fact sista was always making an excuse on why black people acted the way the acted it's like she wanted us all to hate white people:( which was really disappointing - I must admit this book was pretty interesting - 80% of the book pissed me off; I felt that sista was not practicing what she was preaching she said she did not agree with abortions but she went & got one >_< then she made an excuse on why she was dating a married man like wtf are you serious! I must admit this book made me look at sista in a different light. I had a lot of sympathy for her as well... This book had alot going on but even though parts made me mad I felt that I learned alot too.
September 16, 2021
Probably the most important thing I've read in awhile. It's so imperative to be reminded sometimes that you're not the only one dealing with these issues and that we need to aspire to better.
I've been in and seen almost every situation here and I have learned these lessons and honestly if I ever have a daughter or son - they will read this as soon they can read and really understand it.
I disagree with her lack of understanding towards the LGBT community and the perpetuation of her homophobic biases, but I do also understand that that's a very common attitude throughout the black and Caribbean communities and that this book was written AWHILE ago. It's important to see things in the context in which they are presented.
I definitely recommend this.
I've been in and seen almost every situation here and I have learned these lessons and honestly if I ever have a daughter or son - they will read this as soon they can read and really understand it.
I disagree with her lack of understanding towards the LGBT community and the perpetuation of her homophobic biases, but I do also understand that that's a very common attitude throughout the black and Caribbean communities and that this book was written AWHILE ago. It's important to see things in the context in which they are presented.
I definitely recommend this.
June 2, 2010
Interesting and well written, I just hated her guts.
February 6, 2013
Every black woman should be required to read this before her 18th birthday. A powerful testament of the difficulties of black womanhood.
September 14, 2017
5 stars is not enough and my review on this book seems to have no end so i don't even know where to start.
December 20, 2020
I saw this book in Goodwill and I was curious. I read The Coldest Winter Ever a year prior and I had a love-hate relationship with it, which is how I feel about her memoir as well. I once read in a book that said "I believe if anyone should ever have the audacity to write a book about themselves they should always be honest, leaving the reader with a little dislike for the author." With that being said, I commend Sister Souljah for her honesty. The book was raw, uncut, and gutsy of her to write. It definitely left me with a dislike for her. On one hand, I commend her for the work she's done. I admired how educated, and opinionated she is. On the other hand, she is prejudiced, judgmental, and hypocritical. For every belief and value, she claimed to hold dearly, she contradicted herself with her actions. She scolded her friend Mona for being gay and even went as far as condemning her interest in pursuing fertility in Artificial insemination lecturing her on contributing confused children to a sinful lifestyle but was upset with her mother when she took her 13-year-old sister to get an abortion. So you can stand by your baby sister bringing a new life into the world unwed, uneducated, with no father to help but not a gay couple who wants a child of their own? She preached about the destruction of black families due to the system and their long history of racism but knowingly had an affair with a married man and lied about being pregnant in an attempt to keep him around. She talked about how her greatest strength is "self-love" but was it? She had an affair with a married man, changed her hairstyle, clothes, etc. for another man when he first criticized her and was even trying to force a three-way relationship because she believed she was never going to find a good man of her own. If anything it sounds like she struggled with self-love the most! Although there were some things I agreed with her on it seemed like everything wrong in her life (or the black community) was, according to her, because of "racism" and was the "white man's fault".
With that being said I gave it three stars because, in the end, it sounded like she learned her lesson based on the mistakes she's made, not to intentionally be a hypocrite. It was also entertaining to read.
With that being said I gave it three stars because, in the end, it sounded like she learned her lesson based on the mistakes she's made, not to intentionally be a hypocrite. It was also entertaining to read.
October 9, 2012
I would like to first say that this book was an interesting read as far as mixing racism and politics with drama. The author heightens intellect with urban intellect with street smarts. However, the drama is what kept me interested in reading this book. At times I felt as if the author's political views were contradictory and confusing until the lessons at the end of the book. Although I understand the authors reasoning for writing the literature in this form, I believe that the form that was utilized can easily distance a reader from completing the book. Overall, I admire how Ms. Souljah demonstrates the effects politics joined with racism has on everyday life for African Americans and Caucasians.
February 23, 2018
OMG!!! This book was wonderful!! It took forever to pick it up and when I did, I couldn’t put it down. I love how she uses people who crossed her path to unpack some of her life lessons. I should hv read this book years ago
March 29, 2016
Destinee Rivera
Mrs.Mulhall
26 March 2016
World Literature
This book I found to be empowering for young people who aspire to be great and can get tangled into a ball of mess we call life. Sister Souljah took me on a very personal, deep trip throughout her life as a bold, black woman growing up in poverty. She encountered endless setbacks, disappointments, and enlightenments throughout her growing years which she completely revealed to us by expressing her beliefs, future plans, good and bad thoughts, and her entire self. Sister Souljah made many empowering yet unfulfilling choices throughout her life which I didn't completely see eye to eye with but respected in many ways due to her impenitent honesty. She wanted to feel life coursing through her veins, and did things only that motivated her or made her feel good. "I do what I do for myself, for my own enjoyment and benefit.(210)" This is the exact attitude Sister Souljah keeps throughout her book always having an opinion on things and never remaining invisible; she is dauntless and this is what I admired most about her book. She spoke words from experience, hurt, happiness and true emotions one can encounter in any situation. I admire her truth and having no discretion with her experiences. One aspect too brought out with her honesty, is her bold racial beliefs and judgements. After an emotional and hopeful beginning, most of this book seems to be about how beautiful she feels she is and how disillusioned she's been by black males. She talks about the destruction racism has caused blacks all over the world and then takes up basic racial beliefs about people constantly. In more depth, I felt that there should have been a better resolution for the book, I thought she would have taken it deeper than just relationship betrayal, black poverty and trying to make a change for her communities around the world. I respect and followed it 100% however felt that she could’ve included more in the book. On the other hand, this being an autobiography I feel that these were Sistah Souljah’s self-values and truths and it should be known for any future reader to understand that. I love how she moves readers, her existence speaks throughout the book and as I turn each page it was almost as if I was right in the very moment going through her experiences with her. I am a female who is very passionate and have encountered endless disappointments. Sometimes those painful lessons we learn sculpt us to be the stronger, smarter people we needed to be. Sister Souljah describes this in every obstacle she encountered; for every setback she found a lesson learned, or knowledge gained. She is very spiritual, and connected with her inner self which was different reading. I enjoyed her awareness with her surroundings and outer life being that she cared about the world and what was going on outside of the teen gossip or boy craves. She stressed the importance of change in her race, for a better future for all environments dealing with poverty and even cleaning up the streets. She is powerful with every word she speaks and had me on board with every thought she had. I loved this book being my second read from Sister Souljah. Having read a previous book I was disappointed at the fact that she honed in too much in certain aspects of Black poverty, sexual desires and her looks, and didn’t cover more ground. However, this is a moving read with a great insight to life through the "under privileged" eyes. Though I may not agree with all of her actions, I love the fact that this book is real life raw and gives someone pure examples of how tough, fun, or motivating life can be. I would recommend this book to many seniors, and upper-class men because we as young teens deserve to have an outlook on life’s obstacles, taboos and racial issues. Many people in real life are going through these very issues and it can open the eyes to many teens not aware of the problems around them as close to streets away or even hundreds of miles away. It involves rape, drug abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse, poor welfare, and other issues that are important to know about. Sister Souljah created a very special book that can give many young woman inspiration, motivation and a yearning for more to life! This book was a great read.
Mrs.Mulhall
26 March 2016
World Literature
This book I found to be empowering for young people who aspire to be great and can get tangled into a ball of mess we call life. Sister Souljah took me on a very personal, deep trip throughout her life as a bold, black woman growing up in poverty. She encountered endless setbacks, disappointments, and enlightenments throughout her growing years which she completely revealed to us by expressing her beliefs, future plans, good and bad thoughts, and her entire self. Sister Souljah made many empowering yet unfulfilling choices throughout her life which I didn't completely see eye to eye with but respected in many ways due to her impenitent honesty. She wanted to feel life coursing through her veins, and did things only that motivated her or made her feel good. "I do what I do for myself, for my own enjoyment and benefit.(210)" This is the exact attitude Sister Souljah keeps throughout her book always having an opinion on things and never remaining invisible; she is dauntless and this is what I admired most about her book. She spoke words from experience, hurt, happiness and true emotions one can encounter in any situation. I admire her truth and having no discretion with her experiences. One aspect too brought out with her honesty, is her bold racial beliefs and judgements. After an emotional and hopeful beginning, most of this book seems to be about how beautiful she feels she is and how disillusioned she's been by black males. She talks about the destruction racism has caused blacks all over the world and then takes up basic racial beliefs about people constantly. In more depth, I felt that there should have been a better resolution for the book, I thought she would have taken it deeper than just relationship betrayal, black poverty and trying to make a change for her communities around the world. I respect and followed it 100% however felt that she could’ve included more in the book. On the other hand, this being an autobiography I feel that these were Sistah Souljah’s self-values and truths and it should be known for any future reader to understand that. I love how she moves readers, her existence speaks throughout the book and as I turn each page it was almost as if I was right in the very moment going through her experiences with her. I am a female who is very passionate and have encountered endless disappointments. Sometimes those painful lessons we learn sculpt us to be the stronger, smarter people we needed to be. Sister Souljah describes this in every obstacle she encountered; for every setback she found a lesson learned, or knowledge gained. She is very spiritual, and connected with her inner self which was different reading. I enjoyed her awareness with her surroundings and outer life being that she cared about the world and what was going on outside of the teen gossip or boy craves. She stressed the importance of change in her race, for a better future for all environments dealing with poverty and even cleaning up the streets. She is powerful with every word she speaks and had me on board with every thought she had. I loved this book being my second read from Sister Souljah. Having read a previous book I was disappointed at the fact that she honed in too much in certain aspects of Black poverty, sexual desires and her looks, and didn’t cover more ground. However, this is a moving read with a great insight to life through the "under privileged" eyes. Though I may not agree with all of her actions, I love the fact that this book is real life raw and gives someone pure examples of how tough, fun, or motivating life can be. I would recommend this book to many seniors, and upper-class men because we as young teens deserve to have an outlook on life’s obstacles, taboos and racial issues. Many people in real life are going through these very issues and it can open the eyes to many teens not aware of the problems around them as close to streets away or even hundreds of miles away. It involves rape, drug abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse, poor welfare, and other issues that are important to know about. Sister Souljah created a very special book that can give many young woman inspiration, motivation and a yearning for more to life! This book was a great read.
July 30, 2015
Overall I was disappointed with this book. The beginning caught me immediately and I was so excited to dive in and really understand her life philosophy as well as her life experiences. As a young black woman in her early twenties I was eager about what she had to say. Sadly I fought her philosophy very judgmental, and limiting. For example her understanding of lesbianism was so off and based on no real research but only the interaction she had with no woman. I also felt that she justified her wrong doings so strongly but was quick to judge others. Overall I thought she tried to classify all black people in one narrow box and if you didn't fill you were doomed and blinded but white supremacy. She's missing so many points about our people and community I was amazed. I'm happy I read this, but I won't be reading any of her other work.
November 27, 2013
Sister Souljha used Voice in her text. I loved the moral of the this book. It was an excellent read! Her text connects to you on an emotional level. It all comes from her point of view of the story. She used it throughout her story. She used it very well. It was consistent about how she felt and what happened through her eyes in her relationships, but it had a moral at the end. This text can be used to show the writer to write from a place you know and reflect on it in the end. She reflected from her mistakes and it made her a better person. In the classroom I can have the students think about a time they were in trouble and how could they change that now. Ask them what they could have did to avoid these situations, make it personal and meaningful. Show them an example and let them go from there.
June 2, 2021
This is my ultimate favorite reads. HANDS DOWN BETTER TCWE SERIES ALTOGETHER.
She tells it like it is and know how it feels to be West Indian Caribbean black American in New York City. She knows how it feels to go off to college and be on her own and learn people for what they are. She tells stories in a story. It is a page turner and enjoyable. The very first time I read it I was 14 years old. The second time I was 15. The third time I was 17. The last time I was 21. I enjoyed it each read. I admire her intelligence, resillence, beauty and talent. She is amazing. This is the Sister Souljah I remember seeing and listening to growing up. This other evolved other split personality ion know nothing about
She tells it like it is and know how it feels to be West Indian Caribbean black American in New York City. She knows how it feels to go off to college and be on her own and learn people for what they are. She tells stories in a story. It is a page turner and enjoyable. The very first time I read it I was 14 years old. The second time I was 15. The third time I was 17. The last time I was 21. I enjoyed it each read. I admire her intelligence, resillence, beauty and talent. She is amazing. This is the Sister Souljah I remember seeing and listening to growing up. This other evolved other split personality ion know nothing about
January 25, 2011
Well, I read it. If you are going to read her books (I've read 3 of them)it's just because someone mentioned it to you as a somewhat entertaining read. DON'T EXPECT TO COME AWAY WITH...ANYTHING, OKAY? it's business for her, I understand. I was already familiar with her so I am not surprised with the content of the book. I didn't expect her to be quite so vulgar but again I didn't have any expectations. To me, Midnight is her best book. It's like a Harlequin of sorts(use your imagination) with more vulgarity. If you can get pass that, you'll be okay.
September 30, 2012
I read this book years ago and still remember the characters. Good books stay with you. I enjoy how the author organized the book and the idea of the book overall. Excerpts of memoirs from past lovers and friends and what they each taught you. Everyone should write about it for themselves I think, the entire exercise would be therapeutic.
January 5, 2009
a candid, funny memoir that i related to much more than i expected. however, was disappointed by her views on rape culture. i would like to ask her if her opinion has changed since 1994 about any of the events chronicled in her memoir.
January 10, 2008
I really did not enjoy this book at all!!
March 10, 2015
My favourite from her, guaranteed to learn some lessons about yourself.
July 7, 2013
I felt disrespected while reading this book. The language and many of the scenes are offensive. I have read books with similar scenes that were not as in your face.
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