What doyouthink?
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304 pages, Paperback
First published September 6, 2016
The tales we tell ourselves these days always seem to need a happy ending... Is it because the Librarians are protecting us from stories with sad endings?Or is it something about who we are, who we have become as a society, that makes us need to see the good guys win?
"You have to understand. Your mother is aLibrarian.In her heart, she's terrified of change - not to mention frightened of the idea of common people being outside her control. "She has certainly moved past being your ordinary textbook villain into a more complicated presence in Al's life. Moreover, I would call her the wisest character in the series; she's often giving very insightful comments from the sidelines. Last but not least, she is a walking reality check to her son, who certainly needs one on various occasions in the book.
"Librarians," my mother said, "share more with Smedrys than either would like to admit. Both will bend over backwards to accommodate sheer dramatic effect."
"Have you been with that fool of a grandfather of yours so longyou've lost the ability to see the world as it has to be?"
Brandon Sanderson is the fake author of these books, the name Alcatraz publishes them under to keep the Librarians from realizing that the books are real. Alcatraz has it on good authority that that while there was once a real Brandon Sanderson, he was executed for take too much time to write the 5th book of a series-and then doing something horrible at the ending. These days, the title "Brandon Sanderson" is wielded by a group of shadowy book writing ninjas, wth the goal of owning all of the world’s Mac and cheese.
death by gratuitous paper cuts, being forced so watch too many Korean soap operas,being forced to go back in time and accidentally killing my own great-great-grandfather in a clichéd science fiction action sequence,SADS (Sudden Alcatraz death Syndrome), poisoning,balefire,heat death of the universe, accidental grenade ingestion,Avada Kedavra,being sued by J. K. rowling, accidental teddy bear detonation, being eaten by a sentient romance novel…etc. etc. etc
Ah, the wooly sea sloth, with its luscious fur and its body made of high-grade aluminum. It is a noble creature, and endangered; as of writing this there are precisely negative four of them remaining in the wild--as opposed to a hundred years ago, when there were none of them living off the coast of Newfoundland.
The wooly sea sloth is known for a steady diet of conservative talk show hosts and Twix bars with the chocolate licked off. The peaceful animal is of no danger to anyone, since none of them exist or have ever existed, and yet their habitat is threatened by their only natural predator: Wikipedia.
Stop Wikipedia rampages now and support the wooly sea sloth reforestation project, led by six former presidents of the United States (one a zombie) and no conservative talk show hosts.
When we left the room, we were well disguised. The only way we could have done better is if we’d been wearing ropes, a bucket, and a sign that said TOSS IN A COIN FOR A WISH.