Controlling Parents Quotes

“Abuse grows from attitudes and values, not feelings. The roots are ownership, the trunk is entitlement, and the branches are control.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“The fear of abandonment forced me to comply as a child, but I’m not forced to comply anymore. The key people in my life did reject me for telling the truth about my abuse, but I’m not alone. Even if the consequence for telling the truth is rejection from everyone I know, that’s not the same death threat that it was when I was a child. I’m a self-sufficient adult and abandonment no longer means the end of my life.”
― Christina Enevoldsen, The Rescued Soul: The Writing Journey for the Healing of Incest and Family Betrayal

“Hate is a normal and involuntary reaction when somebody tries to control you for no good reason. It signals that the person is extinguishing your emotional life force by getting his or her needs met at your expense.”
― Lindsay C. Gibson, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

“If you alter your behaviour because you are frightened of how your partner will react, you are being abused.”
― Sandra Horley

“The problem with the evangelical homeschool movement was not their desire to educate their children at home, or in private religious schools, but the evangelical impulse to" protect "children from ideas that might lead them to" question "and to keep them cloistered in what amounted to a series of one-family gated communities.”
― Frank Schaeffer, Crazy for God: How I Grew Up as One of the Elect, Helped Found the Religious Right, and Lived to Take All (or Almost All) of It Back

“Narcissists are very retaliative if they believe another has achieved what they desire,
exposed their insecurities, or refused to be under their control.”
― Lorraine Nilon, Breaking Free From the Chains of Silence: A respectful exploration into the ramifications of Paedophilic abuse

“A bird cannot love freely when caged.”
― Matshona Dhliwayo

“Self-centered people often get angry when someone tells them no.

Stan said yes out of fear that he would lose love and that other people would get angry at him. These false motives and others keep us from setting boundaries:”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Children are not born for the benefit of their parents, neither are they the property of their family. Children belong to the future.”
― Anthon St. Maarten

“We are all entitled to our own share of mistakes and learning experiences in life. No one should take them away from us. Not even our parents.”
― Lukasz Laniecki, You Have The Right Not To Make Your Parents Proud. A Book Of Quotes

“If parents want “success stories” to share at gatherings they should provide themselves with those, and they should not use their children for that purpose.”
― Lukasz Laniecki, You Have The Right Not To Make Your Parents Proud. A Book Of Quotes

“People have a much greater chance of finding something they’ll enjoy doing and making those greatest contributions when they trust themselves and are free to make their own life choices (are not marionettes in the hands of their parents).”
― Lukasz Laniecki, You Have The Right Not To Make Your Parents Proud. A Book Of Quotes

“That’s not our role here, provide our parents with a “success story” to share at gatherings.

Our role here is to contribute the best we can to the society. Use our talents and make sure we add the greatest value possible to other people’s lives.”
― Lukasz Laniecki, You Have The Right Not To Make Your Parents Proud. A Book Of Quotes

“We grow up in a belief system according to which children should always make their parents proud and happy (instead of making themselves proud and happy) - and that’s unfortunately the belief system in most cultures.”
― Lukasz Laniecki, You Have The Right Not To Make Your Parents Proud. A Book Of Quotes

“An approach, according to which children should fulfil their parents’ dreams/ do everything in order to make their parents happy/ provide their parents with a peace of mind, or whatever they want for themselves - because they owe it to them for all those years in which their parents took care of them - is utterly selfish.”
― Lukasz Laniecki, You Have The Right Not To Make Your Parents Proud. A Book Of Quotes

“Mistakes are part of life. And yet, for some reason, most parents in this world, wish their children made no mistakes at all, or as little as possible.”
― Lukasz Laniecki, You Have The Right Not To Make Your Parents Proud. A Book Of Quotes

“None of us has an obligation to accept the definitions of ‘respect’ and ‘gratitude’ our parents espoused, especially when those definitions can be used to guilt-trip us, or when they are being used for the purpose of forcing us to do certain things (as an extortion mechanism).”
― Lukasz Laniecki, You Have The Right Not To Make Your Parents Proud. A Book Of Quotes

“Control leaves no room for trust.”
― Glennon Doyle, Untamed: Stop Pleasing, Start Living / A Toolkit for Modern Life

“Who said that parents’ beliefs should be adopted by their children?”
― Lukasz Laniecki, You Have The Right Not To Make Your Parents Proud. A Book Of Quotes

“It’s a mistake to believe that they (parents) are responsible for their children’s best future. This responsibility is on their children, and that’s the message they should be conveying to their children on a daily basis.”
― Lukasz Laniecki, You Have The Right Not To Make Your Parents Proud. A Book Of Quotes

“It’s entirely on our children to build their best futures. Not on us, parents. And we should be imprinting this message on our children’s brains from as early as possible.”
― Lukasz Laniecki, You Have The Right Not To Make Your Parents Proud. A Book Of Quotes

“Pushing them (children) into a career that is “practical” / “safe” / prestigious/ well-paying doesn’t count as help. It’s how parents satisfy their own needs.”
― Lukasz Laniecki, You Have The Right Not To Make Your Parents Proud. A Book Of Quotes

“There is no better way to crush someone’s self-confidence than to tell this person that her / his choice was wrong, and that she / he should have listened to us (parents). Because, obviously, we know how to make the right choices and she / he does not.”
― Lukasz Laniecki, You Have The Right Not To Make Your Parents Proud. A Book Of Quotes

“Our parents are not the only people on this planet, and we should not base our life choices on what they want (what will bring them a peace of mind, satisfaction, and give them a reason to brag), but we should make those choices keeping in mind that there are upwards of 7,5 billion people in this world, and that we should use our talents and energy trying to improve the lives of as many of them as possible.”
― Lukasz Laniecki, You Have The Right Not To Make Your Parents Proud. A Book Of Quotes

“They (parents) use this guilt-tripping to stop you from fulfilling your plans, but most important, from believing something they don’t (something which contradicts their beliefs)”
― Lukasz Laniecki, You Have The Right Not To Make Your Parents Proud. A Book Of Quotes

“They (parents) have been doing this (imposing their beliefs about life on you) since you were born. That’s more than enough to establish a habit.”
― Lukasz Laniecki, You Have The Right Not To Make Your Parents Proud. A Book Of Quotes

“We feel stuck in a rut, unable to say ‘no’ to our parents, unable to put an end to their controlling behavior, unable to grab hold of our own lives, simply because we fear that we will hurt, insult, disrespect or disappoint our parents (entire families).”
― Lukasz Laniecki, You Have The Right Not To Make Your Parents Proud. A Book Of Quotes

“And as he sat there alone, he knew that never again would he have any sensation of peace or contentment, that never would his days or his nights be free from anguish and bitter distress. Because of what he had seen and heard that evening he would be driven tormented to mental horror as yet unknown to him and feared, there would be no rest for him until he had crushed and hidden and made secure into eternity his own creation, possessed for ever or returned to the place from whence it came.”
― Daphne du Maurier, Julius