Duck Quotes Quotes

“I love how golf courses have water hazards. But the ponds feel empty without ducks. I'd like to start a business renting my ducks out to country clubs.”
― Jarod Kintz, To be good at golf you must go full koala bear

“I don't play the saxophone. But that's OK, because I talk to my quacking ducks, and our conversation is like music to my neighbor's six AM ears.”
― Jarod Kintz, Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast

“I once saw a duck on a golf course. It was the best part of the game.”
― Jarod Kintz, Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast

“Crack a duck egg and chug it. Nature's energy drink.”
― Jarod Kintz, Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast

“White people have been accused of not seasoning our chicken. But what about other poultry? I season duck with layered flavors of various aquatic spices, like swimming, splashing, and powdered saxophone music.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“I'm a duck farmer. Am I the world's best duck farmer? Probably not, but there's no official ranking, and I'm a modest guy, so I claim the number two spot.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“My ducks give me eggs, and I took two of those eggs and nurtured them under a dome to produce two ducklings. In a way, I am their mother, and I think Hallmark should make a special card to honor me.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“My ducks have trumpets for beaks. I do NOT farm the way liquid jazz would fill up an elevator and turn it into an ascending pond.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“Some people call me The Duck King, but that isn't true, because I was elected. That makes me The Duck President.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“Ducks splash in water like an aqua saxophone swims in jazz. Elevators have space that needs to be filled with anti-silence, and I have a surplus of liquid music you can purchase or lease.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“My ducks swim like they are water dancing. They do this because I play the saxophone like it's liquid music.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“Music is fluid, and my ducks love splashing in it. When I fill my pool full of Vaporwave, they swim like they're dancing.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“Ducks are water gymnasts. Their fluid motion goes beyond dance and into art.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“Holding a Pekin duckling is like hand cuddling a ball of sunshine. It's a power-charging station for the heart.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“Ducks are born to swim. Fears are born to drown. Sometimes, you just need to help them remember.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“Ducks are melodic, not melodramatic. That, plus the gift of aquatic aviation, makes them the ideal soup ingredient.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“Larry Bird was a great basketball player, but he would have been even better if he were more specific. I'd wear a Larry Duck jersey.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“Daisies are the Pekin ducks of flowers. They radiate joy like they are tiny shining suns.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“People always reveal who they really are. It may take the removal of 33 masks to get there, but they always show themselves. That's why I prefer hanging out with ducks.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“Ducks like balloons. Think about THAT next time your child has a birthday party and you choose to not invite all of mine.”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

“I just started taking IQ Vitamins, and I can already feel myself developing a Super Brain. Soon I’ll be able to communicate with cats and ducks.”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

“I'm a musical conductor. My orchestra is composed of 72 quacking ducks, and they perform best in the morning when I'm about to let them out of their pen.”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

“Money laundering is dirty business. Next time, try duck farming.”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

“The old saying is true: You are who you associate with. That makes me 72 ducks.”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

“It was a foggy morning, and those are always full of mystery. I had Miss Marple watch my ducks, so the whole scene became a Murder-Free Zone.”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

“Earth, water, and sky—ducks are birds of those three elements. And their passion for play embodies the fourth—fire.”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

“I got a call last week from Harvard. They want me to come to Boston to teach Nonsense 101. I told them I'm 72 ducks, and they don't have a pool big enough to afford me.”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

“My favorite drink is water. That's because I can swim in it. I learned that from ducks.”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

“Time is fluid, like water. Swim in it like a duck.”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

“I took up duck farming in The Ozarks in 2020. I guess I did it mainly because the YMCA Aquatic Center in Orlando was operating at full occupancy with a geriatric aerobics class, and the instructor wouldn't let me ride my unicycle in the pool.”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes