Ducks Quotes

“She turned and looked at him." Ducks? "she said again.
A smile tugged the edge of his mouth. "I hate ducks. Don't know why. I just always have.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Lost Souls

“Tessa touched his wrist lightly with her hand." Be brave, "she said." It's not a duck, is it?”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Princess

“I like ducks." Jem observed diplomatically. "Esspecially the ones in Hyde Park." He glanced side ways at Will; both boys were sitting at the edge of a high table, thier legs dangling over the side. "Remember when you tried to convince me to feed pultry pie the the mallards in the park to see if you couls breed a race of cannibal ducks?"
"They ate it too," Will reminisced. "Bloodthirsty little beasts. Never trust a duck.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel

“Never trust a duck.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel

“Food," I suggested. "Sleep. That's what I need. To get the hell away from here."
Cole frowned at me, as if I'd suggested "ducks" and "yoga".”
― Maggie Stiefvater, Forever

“Little James Herondale, age two, was in fact holding a dagger quite well. He stabbed it into a sofa cushion, sending out a burst of feathers.
"Ducks," he said, pointing at the feathers.”
― Cassandra Clare, Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy

“All the little duckies with their heads in the water
Heads in the water
All the little duckies with their heads in the water
Oh, such sweet little duckies.”
― Ruta Sepetys, Salt to the Sea

“Coaching is the only thing where the more someone else practices, the better you get. That’s my kind of hard work.
People always ask me, "Jarod, how come you don't have a Guinness World Record for getting others to do what you aren't capable of doing?"
I tell them I don't worry about awards, because I'm a buy-my-own-trophies kind of guy.
Plus, I'm too busy being the greatest duck farmer in history.
Then I give them the customer service number to call at Guinness, because that's a good question that demands to be answered.”
― Jarod Kintz, Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“The best thing about an air sandwich is between the two slices of bread there exists the possibility of flight. And if those two slices of bread are soggy, then you have just created Duck Heaven.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“Every time a duck talks to you, it says," Quack. "That's a species so advanced it has reduced the complexity of communication down to a one-word language.”
― Jarod Kintz, Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“At BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm, our customer service representatives work 24/7 to make sure you are satisfied. If nobody answers your call within five rings, like The Olympics logo, call back in four years.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“At Sonic I just paid for two large Dr. Peppers. The curious part is I ordered one sweet tea. That's the kind of money-making transaction I need to adopt at BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm. Buy Two, Get One of Lesser Value.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“Tell me, where do I stand compared to Neil and the ankle biter over there? He’s kind of hot, in a Howard the Duck kind of way”
― H.M. Ward, The Proposition 2: The Ferro Family

“When you think of stylish fashion designers, you probably think of Tom Ford, Donatella Versace, Giorgio Armani, and BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm. Wait, what? You don't think about the first three?”
― Jarod Kintz, Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“Mold won’t grow on McDonald’s. So, if a lifeform with no brain won’t even eat their food, what’s that say about the intellects of McDonald’s customers? BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm caters to more discerning consumers.”
― Jarod Kintz, Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“I am the Mister Rogers Bannister of swimming coaches for ducks. My services are available in underwater vending machines in ponds all across The Ozarks.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“She told me she was in pain, because she just had her ankle replaced. I said, “With what, a wheel?” Then I told her that hot duck soup is best served frozen, and that I've always wanted to ride a unicycle.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“Xylophone lessons are now ON SALE when you buy a duck from me. It doesn’t matter if you’re not a good music teacher, because I’m not paying full price.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“The key to dancing is to do it without music. Whoever first paired dancing and music together was a lunatic, like a duck running a marathon, and would have been more useful to society if squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste. Nine out of ten dentists agree with me.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“One time I got beat up by a post-duck. That pillow hit hard.”
― Jarod Kintz, Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“If you're not too busy making money for The Bankers for FREE, would you mind if I used your body to power BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm? As far as batteries go, you're the second most interesting one I've ever met.”
― Jarod Kintz, Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“You don't have to be a prophet or a psychic to see the future. All you have to be is an average observer and notice bare grocery shelves to know food shortages are coming. When you're hungry, you think of your favorite restaurant. But when you're starving, I hope you think of BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm.”
― Jarod Kintz, Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“People always ask me," Jarod, why haven't you won an NFL Championship by now? "My answer is the same. I reply," I may not be Mozart, or I might be, who's to say, but if you put me in an elevator, I'm going to make music that fills the space completely, like duck quacks in a can.”
― Jarod Kintz, Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“We all like to think of ourselves as lions, fierce and ferocious, but is that really the case? Most of us are actually ducks, defenseless and helpless, and too dumb to realize the only reason we don’t get devoured is because we are under God’s protection.”
― Jarod Kintz, Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“If you ask most little boys what they want to be when they grow up, they say things like fireman, elite esports athlete, or brothel manager. But not me. I wanted something sexy. I wanted to be a duck farmer.”
― Jarod Kintz, Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“You don't need to be a coach to get your ducks to swim. Each is born with the water talents of Michael Phelps, but it's also like they all studied Amelia Earhart's crash course in flying.”
― Jarod Kintz, Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“Bags of potato chips have so much air they could be used as cushions for suicidal skyscraper jumpers. That's called inflation, because you spend more money and get less product. But here on my duck farm, we know the value of a dollar—and that's why we don't accept them.”
― Jarod Kintz, Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“She said they don't erect statues to honor losing generals, and I nodded solemnly and replied," Erect statues make better lovers. "Then I told her I am having a SALE on duck eggs.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“You no longer hit bugs when you drive. Where have all the insects gone? My ducks didn't eat ALL the bugs, so where are they? They are all in your NEW hamburger-flavored synthetic meat products. Add" cheese "for ONLY 99 cents.”
― Jarod Kintz, Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“Sometimes I fish, and sometimes my vending machine is broken so I can’t. Thanks for all your Butterfly Smiles. I have them FOR SALE as Powdered PowWOW Substitute, for people who shower like they spent the night sleepwalking through a marathon at the pace of a sprinting duck.”
― Jarod Kintz, Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.