Wtnv Quotes

“Remember: if you see something, say nothing, and drink to forget.”
― Welcome to Night Vale

“There's a monster at the end of this book. It's the blank page where the story ends and you're left alone with yourself and your thoughts.”
― Welcome to Night Vale

“Whisper a dangerous secret to someone you care about. Now they have the power to destroy you, but they won't. This is what love is.”
― Welcome to Night Vale

“The moon’s weird though, right? It’s there, and there, and then suddenly it’s not. And it seems to be pretty far up. Is it watching us? If not, what is it watching instead? Is there something more interesting than us? Hey, watch us moon! We may not always be the best show in the universe, but we try.”
― Welcome to Night Vale

“And now a brief public service announcement. Alligators: can they kill your children? Yes.”
― Welcome to Night Vale

“It’s nice to have a station pet. Wish it wasn’t trapped in a hovering prison in the men’s bathroom, but listen: no pet is perfect. It becomes perfect when you learn to accept it for what it is.”
― Welcome to Night Vale

“Some days the weather happens and we never look up or go outside and that’s okay too.”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“We have nothing to speak about. There never was. Words are an unnecessary trouble. Expression is time wasting away. Any communication is just a yelp in the darkness. I am speaking now but I am saying nothing. I am just making noises, and, as it happens, they are organized in words and you should not draw meaning from this.”
― Welcome to Night Vale

“Valentine's Day is a disaster. Any day that is designed to perfectly encapsulate something as messy and personal as two people in a romantic relationship would have to be. But in Night Vale it also kills people. This is called satire.”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“Night Vale, my sweet and only Night Vale, may you find love. May you find it wherever it's been hidden. May you find who has been hiding it and extract revenge upon them.”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“It was a lovely sight," said one witness.

"I cannot even begin to describe the beauty of her ascension," said another.

"You kind of did, though," said another witness, who was wearing a fedora. "By saying you cannot describe something, that is a sort of apophasis (a paralipsis, if you will), which gives the mind an implied description through nondescription," he continued.”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“She said if good-hearted families travel to Night Vale only to find their subconsciouses besieged with unforgettable revelations, horrors buried so deep as to be completely indescribable, revealing wholly unbearable new truths, then we certainly can't expect these people to return, let alone leave good Yelp ratings for local businesses.”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“The study found widespread dissatisfaction with our town's public library, and, when considering the facts, it's easy to see why. The public computers for Internet use are outdated and slow. The lending period of fourteen days is not nearly long enough to read lengthier books, given the busy schedule of all our lives. The fatality rate is also well above the national average for public libraries.”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“Looking for a snack? Try wheat or a wheat by-product. Dinner? Wheat &/or its by-product. Trying to patch a leaky roof? We have just the thing for you, and we also have its by-product.”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“The text also just grows increasingly garbled. For instance, here it says that our new subway system will streamline the rush-hour commute, but about halfway down, it's a series of nearly indecipherable glyphs our experts insist hint at" non-Euclidian emotions "and" appeasement "(though we think this may be a euphemism for" fares ").”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“One death has already been attributed to the Glow Cloud.

But listen, it's probably nothing. If we had to shut down the town for every mysterious event that at least one death could be attributed to, we'd never have time to do anything, right?”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“We have big dreams - sometimes scary, unforgettable dreams that repeat on the same date every year and are shared by every person in town - but we make those big dreams come true. Remember the clock tower? It took eight years and $23 million to build, and despite its invisibility and constant teleportation, it is a lovely structure that keeps impeccable time.”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“The drive was difficult, because at this point it seemed that everyone in town but the two of us had hopped onto the buzzing shadow entity train, and were loping around town as malevolent holes in our reality, emanating an energy that made the hairs on your arm stand and your bowels vibrate. Or maybe that was just the chemistry with Carlos I was feeling.”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“Now, there is some concern about the fact that, given we are in the middle of a desert, there is no actual water at the waterfront. And that is a definite drawback, I agree.”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“Ah, it says that the City Council believes the reason for the violent reaction of the Shape Formerly in Grove Park that No One Acknowledges or Speaks about is because I have been acknowledging and speaking about it, which has made it angry. They urge me to stop speaking of it, and never do it again, and in exchange they'll move it somewhere else so we can get our front loading zone back.”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“Remember, if confronted by a librarian while looking for a book to check out, do not attempt to escape by climbing a tree. There are no trees in the library and the precious moments it will take you to look around and realize this will allow the librarian to strike. Don't become a statistic.”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“Strexcorp: The best in the business. In the business of being the best.

Think deeply about meadows. Meadows are important. Think deeply about meadows. Meadows are important. Think deeply about meadows. Meadows are important.

Strexcorp: Think deeply about meadows. Meadows are important.”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“The beautiful thing about Kevin - besides Kevin himself - is how his voice is so different from Cecil's. It worked perfectly for the duality in this episode. Cecil's voice is deep, dark, serious. Kevin's is bright, light, and smiling. So much smiling.

He appears only briefly in this part of the episode, but the first time I heard the audio file, it really did bring tears to my eyes. Kevin's character is so utterly horrifying and with such a chipper, sunny voice. I didn't know whether I was laughing or crying.”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“Reports also indicate that the Night Vale Private Library will be entirely free of librarians, a fact that will be of little comfort to the many public library-goers who are injured or killed in librarian maulings every year.”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“A woman ran at our car screaming, a few of the shadow people chasing her, but before I could even touch the brake she must have changed her mind, because she had already turned into a shadow person herself. It's like, ugh, run from the shadow people or become one. Make up your mind, lady!”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“Colorful posters with appealing statements like" Get into a good book this summer "and" We are going to force you into a good book this summer "and" You are going to get inside this book and we are going to close it on you and there is nothing you can do about it "have appeared overnight around the library entrance and in local shops and businesses...”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“All right, we're really going to get it right this time. We have been focusing too narrowly, and we realize that. As many of you pointed out, we should have spent less time on the blinking light and more time expanding on the bit about the approaching masked army. So. There is now a great, masked army, coming toward us across the bone-covered plain.”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“What is this? What is this?

What...

No matter! I'm taking the tape, just now and I'm [Grunts] crushing it into little pieces. None of us have to think about it again. I'll just double check that the mirror in the station bathroom is covered as usual and then that will be that. Done. Forgotten.”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“COMPUTER: HELLO, CECIL. HOW ARE YOU?
CECIL: Computer! I am...I am doing well. How are you?
COMPUTER: BETTER. CECIL, DO YOU LOVE COMPUTER?
CECIL: I admit, I had not given it much though. I like computers generally. They calculate and power off and on. I suppose, given time and perhaps some gifts, I could learn to... [shifting noises] hey!”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe