**spoiler alert** I'm listening to this as an audio book. I think any book explaining PTSD; the causes and explaining how our brains react to our past**spoiler alert** I'm listening to this as an audio book. I think any book explaining PTSD; the causes and explaining how our brains react to our pasts are always important and relevant.. I found it so interesting in the first chapters, how when we are little we are incredibly sensitive to our caregivers emotions and behaviours; this makes sense since we are completely dependent on them for our survival so we absorb everything going on in our environment.I think anyone could read/listen to his book and have a complete understanding of what PTSD is it's outline so clearly and with so many diverse examples
"We elicit from the world what we project into the world, which is based on what happened to us."
When you find an addiction, don't be ashamed. When you confront an addiction you are doing the deepest spiritual work you can do on this Earth.
Explains links between addiction and trauma > unpredictability, chaos, unpredictability = caregivers = source of pain, chaos, abuse
unpredictable stress and lack of control = stress response systems are sensitised, over reactive
Humans are emotionally contagious -> sense distress of others
"Love is the foundation of our development"
Also loveddddd so much the idea that privilege is actually also simply FEELING SAFE IN YOUR ENVIRONMENT and being able to regulate yourself. Think both minorities and women can relate to that. Men don't realise the impact of their behaviour towards women. It definitely is a privilege to feel safe and heard and that you belong somewhere, that is easy to take for granted if you haven't ever experienced the opposite too....more
This book is a stunning love story between Lale and Gita. A romantic, historical fiction. The story is set in WW2, but this is Lale's story and firstThis book is a stunning love story between Lale and Gita. A romantic, historical fiction. The story is set in WW2, but this is Lale's story and first and foremost the story of his love for Gita. This novel demonstrates the power of true love. They are living in a chaotic and traumatic era but love is what carries them through and helped them to survive and keep on fighting. That is the main take away message of this book for me. There is the stark contrast of love, kindness and humanity in Lale and the prisoners who have nothing but each other and then the cruel and destructive inhumanity surrounding them. I think it's a message also to the power of humanity and how we should be careful of using this power for good. It made me have the feeling that, there is no god, no one who can save us from what is happening. They are so 'helpless' in the concentration camp, how can something so cruel be allowed to happen, how can it be happening..
I don't think it is trying to romanticize war or provide us with facts, it's sending us the message that love is what keeps us going when we are going through something traumatic. I think people that don't like it have missed the whole point of the story, it's not about war it's about humanity, compassion and love and survival. It's a beautiful story, I was very attached to both Lale and Gita and I will re-read this book again and again. It gives you hope, it gives you appreciation for what you have when everything in our world is at our fingertips, we can have anything we want in a second. You can see the beauty of life through this book of coming out the other side alive, it's an uplifting story of love and survival.
Throughout the story, we see that Lale does not want to tell Gita what he has been through, nor his sister. He doesn't admit it to himself or speak about the negative affect of war, he doesn't reflect on the bad things that have happened to him (he reacts physically by vomiting, fainting..) but psychologically I don't think he could survive if he thought about it so he reflects on Gita, on love, on family, on food, small good things in each day, always wanting to repay others and having a strong instinct of survival.
I'm glad that Lale got to tell it and that this story will live forever in this book no matter the facts, it's a story and it's beautiful!!!!...more
**spoiler alert** Great book, didn't like a few things here and there but as Theo will tell you, that's because of something in you!
The book leaves**spoiler alert** Great book, didn't like a few things here and there but as Theo will tell you, that's because of something in you!
The book leaves you feeling sad as it's very dark. I was actually bored with the book in the beginning, I didn't understand Theo's obsession for Alicia or what was so interesting about her silence to him, of course, all is revealed at the end........!
Being a criminal/forensic psychologist I suppose he is meant to find this type of person interesting, but this wasn't just interest it was obsession... I didn't understand, surely he has come across this type of case, person, case before.. But anyway - I continued reading as I was curious to discover what the story was.
The plot twist is only revealed in the very last pages of the book, although there are definitely clues towards the end. For example, because we are dealing with supposedly two different stories, I was confused as to HOW the author could wrap up these two stories in so few pages - of course this is because there is just one story, Theo's and Alicia's are one and the same. A story of betrayal, anger, hurt, pain. When you get to the plot, and realise who Theo actually is - all I thought was wow, that is twisted!! The readers attention is NEVER on Theo - Theo is made out to be such a good guy that we, as the reader, are also betrayed! Furthermore I think the fact that he is a therapist makes this even stronger as in society most of us we view therapists as being more than human and not having the same flaws as us a lot of the time, a therapist committing murder is similar to the shock of a doctor committing murder. I have only recently got back into reading, don't have much experience of reading thrillers so to me I didn't see it but I think that one you read that kind of plot maybe you pick it up easier if it's been done before.
I didn't give it 5 stars but simply because it feels so dark, when I finished it I wanted to quickly move on to another book and something lighter but it's a good book and I think, original story line that also has important themes of mental health and the role and use of medication in treating it....more
Super interesting little compact book, although whilst small it's still packed with information/knowledge. The best chapter was where she explains howSuper interesting little compact book, although whilst small it's still packed with information/knowledge. The best chapter was where she explains how much we all can and do affect each other whether we realise that/admit or not that, even just the way we look at one another ie smile versus frowning/scowl affects our physiology because we all are interconnected social beings and that does come with it serious consequences.
"There is a real biological benefit when people treat one another with basic human dignity. And if we don't, there is also a real biological consequence, and it eventually trickles down to a financial and social cost for everyone. The price of personal freedom is personal responsibility for your impact on others. The wiring of all of our brains guarantees it."
I think that this chapter should be read by every single person - phrases such as "think before you speak" make even more sense. But also people's behaviour in general, especially in cities where a lot of people will intrude our personal space, glare and stare at others clearly without thinking for two seconds that we are the same as them - another person and no we don't want to be stared at, to me that is very aggressive and has made me feel physiologically stressed by having these experiences since moving to a city because where I come from nobody ever did that to me before and it's extremely stressful to be honest.
"Your nervous system is bound up with the behaviour of other humans, for better or worse. You can argue what the data means or if it's important, but it is what it is."
"If your body budget is already depleted by the circumstances of life - your brain becomes more vulnerable to stress of all kinds. This includes the biological effects of words designed to threaten, bully or torment you and the people you care about" - I think that's incredibly true, we all have resilience and resistance, but we also all have our limits of what we can take. Although I have also consistently found that when I experience vulnerability or ie being in need of connection and kindness, often that is when you will in fact meet the most toxic people to exist because they cannot stand their own vulnerability perceived by them as a weakness, and so they try to hurt and insult you because it reminds them of something they can't tolerate in themselves. When it's that vulnerability that makes you in fact most human and the thing that we all possess, can all relate to and therefore find connection through this shared vulnerability that is not a weakness but a strength. It makes me think of the quote, can't remember exact words but something like "For if you were not afraid then how could you be brave" - those who are fearless are not the true warriors but those who in fact are very afraid but try anyway.
This book confirmed a lot of emotions and feelings I already had about how interconnected we all are, and I know there is lots of expand on from this topic since it's just a small overview but definitely one of my favourite topics.
**spoiler alert** Having read Circe before reading this one it doesn't compare, for me, in the depth of the story telling which is why I don't give 5**spoiler alert** Having read Circe before reading this one it doesn't compare, for me, in the depth of the story telling which is why I don't give 5 stars.
However, I am in awe of Patroclus's character and personality, as well as Breseis. They are the two shining stars of the story, the only two humans in the world of the grandiose, violent and narcissistic people that surround them. Patroclus is humble, modest, kind, forgiving. And the awkwardness and little quirks that he has makes him even more love-able, which I kind of love about it too because she did his character to a perfection.
I love how Patroclus is ultimately the main star of the entire book! Patroclus is all I can think about, what makes this even more special to me is that his character represents, at least in my mind, what people would consider a 'wallflower'. He doesn't seek the limelight but the limelight, such as people like Achilles, are in the end drawn to him because of his generosity that we discover throughout the book. I am so glad for the character or Breseis, where this is revealed to us even more so. His character is so delightful because he is made out be this super awkward kid almost who doesn't fit in but we all love him the more for it.
The story was lacking compared to Circe for me, but simply because the story of the Trojan War is well known and the details remain similar to the film so there wasn't something 'new' to be told in that sense, whereas Circe was entirely new.
The story is told entirely from the perspective of Patroclus - although at times this made it hard to understand Achilles emotions towards Patroclus. Instead of relying on the inner monologue, we are drawn to the behavioural cues of Achilles throughout the book such as his protective but quiet nature towards him. It almost makes us view how complex it is for Achilles to love Patroclus, given the disdain of his mother since he is not a "great warrior". However, Achilles himself is loved just for what he can do, rather than who he is.
It is the flaws and imperfections that make someone love-able not how they are perfect but in all the ways that they are not is what this book showed me. I love how the pairing is also shown to be not what people would of expected - Thetis represents judgement of others without knowing how they feel.
I'm still sad about Patroclus death - it was so heartbreaking!!! I think at that moment we are then suddenly put into the shoes of Achilles and we can imagine exactly how sad he would feel. We know how much value Patroclus has to us and we can extend that to Achilles.
Thank you for telling the character of Patroclus so beautifully! I think if he wasn't so loveable than the story would of fell flat, somehow she made the most loveable character because he is the most relatable and alive like us all, how she describes him with his quirks and flaws, of feeling not quite good enough, I think we can all experience similar emotions and therefore we can extend this compassion to him because we are him through this entire book. With lots of people looking down on him, being exiled, being in a world full of gods. So well doneeee!! But too sad!!!
I think I am too used to happy endings - this is the most tragic love story with Patroclus ultimately sacrificing himself for Achilles. And it doesn't end there - when he was suddenly able to become Achilles, because he is always made to feel like he is a 'nobody' in comparison to Achilles by Thestis, it's actually the most painful part of the book. To me it's like his inner pain is revealed in that moment when he is taken by this sudden moment of power and glory which Patroclus deserved!:D...more
So there are some amazing ideas and thoughts in this book which I LOVE. The key message is that of self-acceptance. "We are not here to satisfy othersSo there are some amazing ideas and thoughts in this book which I LOVE. The key message is that of self-acceptance. "We are not here to satisfy others expectations, and others are not here to satisfy our expectations" as well as the need to belong and feel "it's okay to be here".
For me personally there were some aspects I didn't agree with, such as the title that 'trauma does not exist' and that a person may simply bring up the memory of having been hit by their father because they don't want the relationship to work.
I don't believe that at all, and I think that parent and child relationships, as any, can be very complex due to the closeness of the bond, everything said or not said, done or not done is going to be much more intense because of the nature of the relationship. When we are children our parents are our mirror, our world, they are the only people that we know, so it is normal that any hurt is going to be very strong and painful because they are the people that have brought us into the world, we are utterly dependent on them for our survival and also, sense of worth in the first instance since we haven't yet ventured out into society. Their pain can easily become our own pain, it can easily be passed down until someone is able to heal it and speak what has been unspeakable. I don't believe any person is evil, or bad, I believe everyone is good but then it is easy to have negative life experiences and be changed by them. It's hard to be human in a world that does not always allow people to be human, to just be themselves and to speak their truth without being discredited or misheard.. I believe in trauma and I believe trauma changes people, it has been scientifically proven that trauma changes the brain and can affect every part of your life, your sense of worth and naturally, relationships. Denying trauma will not help anyone unless you are not actually a traumatized individual and what you experienced did not actually traumatize you, of course then you have reason to be able to overcome it. But if you are suffering from trauma then you are not functioning normally, you cannot simply overcome this trauma by denying it, instead you need to confront it before learning to trust yourself and others again with the help and support of the right people. PTSD exists because trauma is real. Many people are suffering from trauma but it can be overcome that is for sure even if sometimes it can feel like hell.
I was not drawn to this book initially but decided to give it a go and I was surprised to enjoy it. I think it can help people to feel more at peace with themselves, there is not a standard to live up to but to find what it is that makes you, you and be at peace with it. This is also a good message for society at large, others are not here to please us; people are free to be and present themselves as they wish. There are plenty of people who judge others; we do not need more of this we need more compassion. We don't need to judge people we need to be kind and understanding towards them; myself included. It is hard not to judge people that have been outright mean to us when we have not acted in any way to warrant it but I try to extend compassion to them; that their pain was too much that they needed some target, scapegoat and I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Too many times. The need to feel powerful and in control if you are feeling small or out of control.
Pain is like a circle, anytime we hurt one person, we also hurt many more other people. The pain keeps on going, same with love. Give out kindness, we have a desire to then give more kindness out, so we have to do as we must to respond to violence with love and hate with love because whatever we put out is going to be spread out further than we think. Just a tiny act of kindness can spread fast, can change someone's life.
There are lots of people in the street who seem to think that they have a right to pass judgement and comment on others. I do not understand why. I can never imagine looking at someone and thinking anything of them or deciding to verbally judge them as if they were not any less human than myself. People are not objects here to please others, we dress/present ourselves as we wish, we are not here for you but for ourselves; to the extent of which we are not doing anything that is causing harm to another person. If you don't like something; look away. I am not here for you; you are not here for me. I think if we can respect other peoples differences that is most important thing, I respect you for who you are, just treat each other as humans as much as we can manage in this weird thing called life that no one person has an answer to. No one person has all the answers, there are guidelines and advice and we can take what we feel we need but none of us chose to be, we are here and that is all.
The day people think before they speak and remember that those words that they say are going to be heard; your words have power; they have the power to build someone up or cut someone down so use them wisely, think before you speak, I'm human just the same as you, not an object, not a robot, a human-being with feeling. And if someone hurts us we should always be okay to say how we feel.
The day that bullying stops, the day that hate stops, the day that humans realise we are all one and the same underneath it all. We have the same needs, desires, hurts, and we should be fighting for everyone, we should all be on the same side because we all have the same hurt. An end to discrimination.
I hope that everyone that reads this book takes something useful and good from it to use in their own lives. We don't need any more hate and judgement.
According to Hofstede Insights (n. d.) Japan scores a 46 on Individualism whereas the United States scores a 91. This shows that Japan is a collectivist society meaning they put group harmony above the expression of individual opinions. The fact that this is written from a psychologist living in a collectivist society is very interesting since I guess this could be a key issue, if there is any aspect of who you are that is not accepted by the group you would have to suppress it to go along with the group but by having self-acceptance you can encourage yourself to go above what those closest think of you, and also works in individualist society from the eyes of others and strangers who can feel the need to pass comment/judgement on others.. I guess it is a choice, to what extent do you want to fit in with other people and to what extent is their opinion vs yours important. I think society, people do want to fit in, in general, it takes courage to be your authentic self if you don't fit in a certain box. But you can give yourself that acceptance instead of desiring to be accepted by society you can accept yourself and be happy with who you are, regardless of others opinions and whether you are accepted by other people....more
I loved this book so much when I was younger. I think I definitely wanted to live in Tingle Reef - I used to love swimming under water more than aboveI loved this book so much when I was younger. I think I definitely wanted to live in Tingle Reef - I used to love swimming under water more than above and later did scuba diving so this book where there was a world under water was amazing to me! I loved the use of magic powers in this book, how she was able to see her past and meet another mermaid who was like her. I would recommend this book for younger readers as it does transport you to a different world. Tingle Reef has such lovely characters and it's a wonderful story. I also think the cover of this book is so pretty with the pastel greens and pinks and the drawing of Rani, makes it stand out/very attractive cover!!:) It's a book I will keep forever as I loved it so much....more
I think what hit me the most with this book is the perceptiveness of the author with regards to each of the characters, each character has such a stroI think what hit me the most with this book is the perceptiveness of the author with regards to each of the characters, each character has such a strong and vivid emotional background that this book has stayed with me long after reading it. I loved how the author described events and emotions throughout the book in such a lyrical manner, it is done in such a way that really draws you in to the characters and their story. The intensity and depth of the emotion that is conveyed throughout the book is incredibly complex as it is able to address a range of situations and issues that are still very relevant such as race and women's role in society....more
**spoiler alert** I kept having to rush to see my partner to tell him some of the very funny albeit at times disgusting stories from this book! As wel**spoiler alert** I kept having to rush to see my partner to tell him some of the very funny albeit at times disgusting stories from this book! As well as being a brutal insight into the realities of being a junior doctor and working within the NHS it is filled with hilarious anecdotes. One of my favourite exerts was from the extra's at the end of the book; the patient (or "client".. "that sounds better, like what prostitutes have"!!), who was puffing his inhaler onto his pet to deal with his wheezing/asthma. I didn't know what to expect from this book but I found it brilliant and eye opening to read. It reminded me that we are all in the same boat when choosing our careers and none of us really know the right one we're all just trying.
"Curry can't induce labour, nor can pineapple, nor can sex. I presume they were dreamt up by the inventor of the pineapple madras when he was horny."
"Oh Christ! I gasp." Michael Jackson's dead! "One of the nurses sighs and stands up." Which cubicle? "...more
These books were my favourite when I was a young teenager, I still have them now and love them just as much. The book covers are so pretty, the originThese books were my favourite when I was a young teenager, I still have them now and love them just as much. The book covers are so pretty, the original ones at least. I love the illustration, the colours and how they include the zodiac signs in the book and a little information sheet about the zodiac sign. I loved Recipe for Rebellion as well as From Geek to Goddess. These books are perfect for young readers who are interested in zodiac signs. The idea of the planets being in human form is such a fun idea and I love how each character had their own unique personality and how they are trying to help each zodiac girl. I wish there were more of them!...more
One of my favourite's in this series, I remember Danu's character very well. I love how different Gemma from Geek to Goddess was to Danu in this book,One of my favourite's in this series, I remember Danu's character very well. I love how different Gemma from Geek to Goddess was to Danu in this book, she's very feisty and rebellious but inside she is just unhappy and missing her old school. I felt that the characters were incredibly well-written and I was able to relate and empathise with the character and their situation. I loved picturing what her dreads looked like and all the pranks that she pulled too! I love home decor and interior design so this book was very satisfying to read and to picture how they redecorated each room, along with the baking. Brilliant books that have a special place in my heart as the idea of the planets in human form is so unique. I think his name was Jo but it was a long time ago, the guy from Jupiter who worked at a café, you could very easily imagine the person from the description as if they were real people. I re read the book countless times and it feels like going back to a safe haven whenever I open them, I love the style of writing as it's easy to read and feels like you are right there with the character as if you are going through everything together....more
Incredible. Edith is extremely inspiring, I feel privileged to have been able to read her story and that she has shared it with the world. Edith reminIncredible. Edith is extremely inspiring, I feel privileged to have been able to read her story and that she has shared it with the world. Edith reminds us of our own personal power, that we always have a choice. I think it is easy with bad experiences to feel trapped and that we do not have choice. And when you feel that way you don't see what you can do, what your possibilities are you see the opposite. Everything you can't do, won't do, haven't done. You see your limits. I have definitely felt that there have been times where I have not had a choice, or that other people in my life had taken away my choices by making decisions for me, whether they had good intentions or not. I think that it is important to know that we are able to make our own decisions and we are able to take control of our life and situations, even if that just be one step at a time. Adding one good thing, even just one at a time can lead us somewhere. This book gave me hope. I think it is incredible what Edith was able to accomplish, gaining her education in Psychology to become a psychologist and treating specifically PTSD. I'm so glad that she was able to take us through every one of her emotions because it is so important to remember and I think this kind of story makes it all more real, we can never ever imagine or relate but we can listen to other people's stories and try to understand them. Most of the time it is so atrocious that it doesn't even seem real and that is the privilege we get for not having to had experienced it, a reality so harsh we can only read about it in books and documentaries. And yet PTSD is something millions of us can get, from things not half as severe as that but that affect us all the same. So it's a worldwide response that we can relate on together to create understanding, even if we have not experienced the same pain we have an experience of this post-traumatic stress and we can understand those feelings related to it. I think Edith shares that with us, on her story of how she is processing and understanding her own pain as well as that of others. It's very moving and I was constantly highlighting the quotes that are included throughout and enable us to sit and pause and reflect on what is happening and being said. Which is not something in a world that is always focused on "the next best thing" seems natural to do to; to just sit with whatever it is, what is happening, what is going on and how we are feeling. It can be difficult to do when everything else is moving so quickly. The bit that tore me apart for Edith was on pages 305-306, when she spoke of saying the word mother instead of sister, and having that instant realisation and yet, not being able to take it back. That made me think about the differences between doing and not being, saying or not saying etc. That one small action, often it feels as though it is irrelevant, what we do or don't do doesn't feel as though it matters and then on the opposite side it can seem as though every thing, the tiniest of actions and words have so much meaning. I can relate to her feeling of doing things too late, and I think a lot of people can feel that way, and Edie proves that it isn't true at all. That there's no right timing. I think it's incredible and definitely don't have the words to do her story justice either, none of us can but we can hear her and.. Mainly I love how she took every opportunity and tried to see what was there for her growth and what she was learning from each situation, it all taught her something that ended up propelling her forward and onto something new each time even if she could not see it at the time. It was all part of a process and mostly because she had that desire to see what others could not and to understand it, not just talk about it but to actually understand it fully and properly, to go inside every crevice of her mind and take it apart and put it back together almost, and that allowed her to come out the other side because she could face it. And I think that is what she is saying in this book in particular about how everything we don't acknowledge grows bigger, everything we don't think about is going to get worse and worse. Whereas saying it and expressing it you take away that power, you gain your own power and control back by saying your own truth....more
**spoiler alert** This book covers so many important themes and has some beautiful quotes. I listened to the podcast that Celeste did with Brené Brown**spoiler alert** This book covers so many important themes and has some beautiful quotes. I listened to the podcast that Celeste did with Brené Brown about the book and when she was picking out her favourite quotes i was waiting for this one.. "The problem with rules, he reflected, was that they implied a right way and a wrong way to do things. When, in fact, most of the time there were simply ways, none of them quite wrong or quite right.." is one of the ones that stood out to me and that I could relate to at this moment in time. I struggled at first with the characters but after reflecting I found that I liked how this book looks at abortion, right/wrong, perfection/idealism, motherhood, different perceptions of what life. I think listening to the podcast was interesting to be able to hear and see the book's story from the authors' point of view and where different parts of the story came from as well as learning more about her own life and her background. It was interesting to read about things that haven't happened to me and to see how the author dealt with different feelings and emotions around adoption, children and different life paths and relationships between the different characters. I liked Mia's character the most, Mia sees the world differently from the rest of the society that she has found herself living in and has a unique way of expressing herself through photography and art. The podcast also made me appreciate the title which at first I hadn't given much thought, "Little fires everywhere", after you have read the book, you see that in all of the characters lives this title rings true, throughout this book and the complex issues that so many of the characters face you can indeed describe them as little fires everywhere....more
Beekeeper of Aleppo is incredibly moving to read. It almost reads like a poem as it's very lyrical and beautifully descriptive. It's a story of sorrowBeekeeper of Aleppo is incredibly moving to read. It almost reads like a poem as it's very lyrical and beautifully descriptive. It's a story of sorrow but also of hope.
Whilst reading, you can feel how heavy the trauma is for the two main characters, depicted by the nightmares they experience and the absence that seems to follow Afra, as though she is always somewhere else due to the pain she has experienced. The book also includes information of where to go to learn more about the refugee crisis. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone and I am sure that I will re-read it again since it's such a beautiful albeit horrific story and even more so knowing that this goes on this world even now.. It depicts the harsh realities that refugees face as well as their resilience and strength, the aloneness of these people, whilst we can help them, that doesn't seem to be any where near enough, it shouldn't be happening in the first place....more
**spoiler alert** I liked that the book tackles the issue of domestic violence, and that it's told from the point of view of the child, Molly, you can**spoiler alert** I liked that the book tackles the issue of domestic violence, and that it's told from the point of view of the child, Molly, you can see how she is conflicted and you can really understand how she feels about each of her parents. I found the style of writing difficult to read and get through compared to other books I have read but overall I enjoyed the plot of the story and I enjoyed Molly's character and of course it's a lovely ending....more
I loved these books!! I found Gemma to be such a relatable character, anyone who loves space/zodiac signs would love these books. The only thing I waI loved these books!! I found Gemma to be such a relatable character, anyone who loves space/zodiac signs would love these books. The only thing I was sad about was when they changed the covers!! I thought these original covers were just stunning and made them stand out from the crowd. Well written, funny and love the idea of how the planets are in human form....more
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