Snuff Quotes

“Goodness is about what you do. Not who you pray to.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“The worst thing you can do is nothing.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“I tell you, commander, it's true that some of the most terrible things in the world are done by people who think, genuinely think, that they're doing it for the best, especially if there is some god involved.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“Cheery was aware that Commander Vimes didn't like the phrase 'The innocent have nothing to fear', believing the innocent had everything to fear, mostly from the guilty but in the longer term even more from those who say things like 'The innocent have nothing to fear'.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“If you want to change a whole people, then you start with the girls. It stands to reason: they learn faster, and they pass on what they learn to their children.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“I know that I am a small, weak man, but I have amassed a large library; I dream of dangerous places.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“but what should we do when the highborn and wealthy take to crime? Indeed, if a poor man will spend a year in prison for stealing out of hunger, how high would the gallows need to be to hang the rich man who breaks the law out of greed?”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“…you were so worried about legal and illegal that you never stopped to think about whether it was right or wrong.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“He'd heard that writers spent all day in their dressing gowns drinking champagne. This is, of course, absolutely true.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“The jurisdiction of a good man extends to the end of the world.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone’s wallets.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“Well, the news has got around. The Duchess of Keepsake has invited us to a ball, Sir Henry and Lady Withering have invited us to a ball, and Lord and Lady Hangfinger have invited us to... yes, a ball."
"Well, that's a lot of..."
"Don't you dare, Sam.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“Vimes's lack of interest in other people's children was limitless.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“We live and learn, or, perhaps more importantly we learn and live.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“Little crimes breed big crimes. You smile at little crimes and then big crimes blow your head off.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“So much paperwork to read! So much paperwork to push away! So much paperwork to pretend he hadn't received and that might have been eaten by gargoyles.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“Vimes died. The sun dropped out of the sky, giant lizards took over the world, and the stars exploded and went out and all hope vanished and gurgled into the sinktrap of oblivion. And gas filled the firmament and combusted and behold! There was a new heaven - or possibly not. And Disc and Io and and possibly verily life crawled out of the sea - or possibly didn't because it had been made by the gods, and lizards turned to less scaly lizards - or possibly did not. And lizards turned into birds and bugs turned into butterflies and a species of apple turned into banana and a kind of monkey fell out of a tree and realised life was better when you didn't have to spend your time hanging onto something. And in only a few billion years evolved trousers and ornamental stripey hats. Lastly the game of Crocket. And there, magically reincarnated, was Vimes, a little dizzy, standing on the village green looking into the smiling countenance of an enthusiast.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“Yes, sir, thank you, sir, and I wouldn’t trust me one little inch, sir. I knows a bad one when I sees them. I have a mirror.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“Do not seek perfection. None exists. All we can do is strive.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“Not all questions are answered, commander, but fortunately some answers are questioned.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“Vimes woke in damp and utter darkness with sand under his cheek. Some parts of his body reported for duty, others protested that they had a note from their mother.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“They say that the eyes of some paintings can follow you around the room, a fact that I doubt, but I am wondering whether some music can follow you for ever.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“As the message drained away Vimes stared at the opposite wall, in which the door now opened, after a cursory knock, to reveal the steward bearing that which is guaranteed to frighten away all nightmares, to wit, a cup of hot tea.*
* The sound of the gentle rattle of china cup on china saucer drives away all demons, a little-known fact.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“Aristocrats don't notice philosophical conundra. They just ignore them. Philosophy includes contemplating the possibility that you might be wrong, sir, and a real aristocrat knows that he is always right. It's not vanity, you understand, it's built-in absolute certainty. They may sometimes be as mad as a hatful of spoons, but they are always definitely and certainly mad.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“Sometimes you had to take a look at yourself and then look away.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“What is normal? Normal is yesterday and last week and last month taken together”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“I'm not cruel, sir, I won't shoot you in the guts, but I will make you realize how much you took your toes for granted.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“That just goes to show that you never know, although what it is we never know I suspect we'll never know.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“Don't start weaving a social hypothesis in front of an angry woman holding a blade.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“This is Masher,' said Feeney. 'His father was a wild boar, his mother was surprised.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff