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Space Sucks! Space Sucks! by Christina Engela
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Space Sucks! Quotes Showing 1-11 of 11
“What the hell was that?” he asked no-one in particular. “Did they ram us?”
“Uh – negative, sir.” Marnetti offered, reading an instrumental assessment from his display, “It seems we were hit by some kind of pulse wave generated by their jump.”
“Their jump? – You mean by arriving they nearly killed us?”
Marnetti nodded, continuing, “Range 0.5 kilometers, Captain. Holding steady. No recognized weapons activity.”
“Damage report.” He ordered, feeling his way back into his seat, eyes glued to the viewscreen.
“Shield 2 down, 1 is buckling.” Pluddeman choked.
“Power stable, all systems holding steady,” Marnetti added, now rubbing some bruises.
“Any communications?”
“Nothing, sir. Static on all frequencies.”
“What are they doing?”
“Nothing, sir. Waiting maybe.”
“Waiting, my ass!” Dayne barked. “They must be sizing us up!”
Christina Engela, Space Sucks!
“The only problem that ever really seems to bother empire builders is bureaucracy. Before a new colony on the frontier could be founded, the Senate and Triumvirate would have to pass the plan. Factors influencing the High Lords decision would include, among others, the number of people needed to found the colony and whether this would result in any significant population shift. Another, more critical factor would be whether Tactical Defense could spare the ships or the manpower to patrol the area.”
Christina Engela, Space Sucks!
“On screen, sir." Pankow said. That seemed to explain everything. On screen was a distant angular speck that could only be a ship. Marnetti broke a rather tense moment by arriving. Ortez groped for the arm of his command chair and sat down, his eyes fixed on the viewscreen. Marnetti went to his station.”
Christina Engela, Space Sucks!
“Ortez sauntered over to the nearest wall intercom." Bridge, this is the captain -- what the hell's going on up there? I didn't schedule a combat drill for today. "Hell, it occurred to him -- he hadn't scheduled any kind of drill for at least four months. On the other end of the line, young 2nd lieutenant Cedric Pankow, the com officer, let it fall.”
Christina Engela, Space Sucks!
“This isn't a drill, sir!"
"What d'you mean this isn't a drill?" It couldn't be! It wasn't possible. Things like that only happen in blockbuster sci-fi movies, not in real life!
"It's not a drill, sir! This is the real thing! You'd better get up here right away sir! Sir? Sir!"
But Commander Ortez was already on his way -- and he was running.
When he eventually made his theatrical entrance on the bridge, nothing had happened yet. He wheezed.
"Well?" He appealed, ready for anything. After that, this had better not be a drill. Or else.”
Christina Engela, Space Sucks!
“Same time as every day, Fyl..." she fussed, the rest of the bridge crew seeming to hold their breaths. "TWELVE THIRTY!" came the chorus. The next hour dragged by, in about the same way as the hour before that. At twelve twenty-five, Commander Ortez found himself stepping out of an elevator into an equally mundane grey steel corridor on his way to the mess hall. Turning a corner, he met with a stream of crewmen milling around between shifts. Some off-duty personnel were lounging around in civvies, which consisted mostly of re-revamped 60's hippy fashions. Of all the places on the ship, the mess was the most spacious, (i.e.: it was a big mess.) The command officer’s balcony overhung the rest of the crew dining area. Ortez sat at his usual place, wincing as he remembered to get someone to fix the springs in his chair. An ensign, 3rd class dressed in chef’s white, served him with a plate of what either ended up feeding the chefs latest pet - or strangling it. Marnetti, Barnum and the sciences officer Commander Jaris Skotchdopole filed in, not necessarily in that order, and found seats. After a few bites, Marnetti -- who was the first officer and navigator, put up a hand and signalled a waiter. The lad approached fearfully, appreciating the highlight of his day.”
Christina Engela, Space Sucks!
“Something clicked inside Ortez mind, like the bolt of a door latch being released. Man’s first encounter with sentient alien life was a disaster called the Gimp War in the history books. The aliens simply began an all out onslaught without any warning. Fortunately the Human race proved a little more difficult to dispose of than the aliens thought. The Gimp, or Ruminarii as they were called, were driven off and hadn’t been heard from since. Their origins were still a mystery. This was not a Ruminarii ship, but this encounter might have similar repercussions. And Commander Dayne Ortez aged 26, realized the meaning of this.”
Christina Engela, Space Sucks!
“The alien was an ugly sight, all angles and corners. Like a pentagram might look if it fell into a mathematical blender. No ports, seam lines or anything. Smooth yellow hull. No markings. And it was too close!”
Christina Engela, Space Sucks!
“He looked at the viewscreen and couldn’t believe it. If the other ship were any closer, then it would’ve been up his nose! There was an urgent scuttling as the bridge crew scrambled back into their respective seats.”
Christina Engela, Space Sucks!
“An idea was forming in his mind. It was only rudimentary, but in the circumstances, it could be called a plan. He loathed the alien for attacking them, without any provocation. He hated the way it was smashing up his ship – and all of them – with hardly any effort or regard for life at all.
“How’s that message coming?”
“Umm – they must be jamming us, sir – I can’t get through.”
Christina Engela, Space Sucks!
“Lt. Denice Barnum at the helm gave a sigh, then replaced her nail file on the control panel, beside her spray bottle of nail varnish and" like steel "hardener.

"Sir?"
"What's wrong with this picture?" he said, pointing at his plate. The youth looked. He looked at Marnetti.
"Nothing, sir...looks normal to me, sir."
"Look again." He looked harder. He squinted.
"Sir?"
Marnetti sighed. "This is stewed Kwarracks, isn't it, son?"
“Yessir." The lad nodded.
"Well, as far as I know, Kwarracks is supposed to be dead when you eat it, not so?"
"Yessir." He agreed.
"This one's still waving its tentacles.”
Christina Engela, Space Sucks!