What do you think?
Rate this book
Outdated: Find Love That Lasts When Dating Has Changed
Everyone wants to be loved--to find someone who will stick with them through all of life's ups and downs, someone who is in it for the long haul. But in a world where dating is increasingly based on split-second decisions and geared toward casual relationships rather than marriage, it's easy for single people to feel discouraged, used, or unworthy of true love and lasting affection. Reality just never seems to match up with our (often wildly unrealistic) expectations.
Jonathan "JP" Pokluda has counseled thousands of young singles through the pain and heartbreak of dating the world's way. Now he wants to dispel the myths, misconceptions, and fairy tales you've believed about dating and replace them with the truth from the One who invented marriage, created you to crave relationship, and is the very embodiment of true love. With plenty of true stories about relationships healed and love found, this practical book explains God's purposes for singleness, dating, and marriage and covers why you should date, who you should date, and how you should date.
If you're ready to trade the world's way of dating for the way that actually works, it's time to begin dating well.
Jonathan "JP" Pokluda has counseled thousands of young singles through the pain and heartbreak of dating the world's way. Now he wants to dispel the myths, misconceptions, and fairy tales you've believed about dating and replace them with the truth from the One who invented marriage, created you to crave relationship, and is the very embodiment of true love. With plenty of true stories about relationships healed and love found, this practical book explains God's purposes for singleness, dating, and marriage and covers why you should date, who you should date, and how you should date.
If you're ready to trade the world's way of dating for the way that actually works, it's time to begin dating well.
224 pages, Paperback
First published March 2, 2021
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 738 reviews
May 2, 2021
Not reinventing the wheel here with Christian dating talk, but I love how often he comes back to, “if they are not fully pursuing Christ, do not start to date them or continue dating them.” Something about the way JP stresses ‘fully’ really struck me. Not mostly, not average, not a little, fully sold on Christ.
“A relationship based on feelings will only lead to feelings of hurt,” and, “Being honest is the best defense against [that kind of] confusion,” were 2 parts that really stuck out. We’re so lost in the fleeting feelings (affection or fear) that we will miss out on the ease of simply asking someone out or the loving manner of ending something that needs to end.
“A relationship based on feelings will only lead to feelings of hurt,” and, “Being honest is the best defense against [that kind of] confusion,” were 2 parts that really stuck out. We’re so lost in the fleeting feelings (affection or fear) that we will miss out on the ease of simply asking someone out or the loving manner of ending something that needs to end.
January 17, 2021
Christian dating books are usually exceptionally cringey, so when I say that JP Pokluda’s Outdated is only moderately cringey, please understand it as a compliment. Seriously, the sex/love/dating books that tend to get popular in the Christian evangelical spectrum range from good but formulaic (5 Love Languages) to hello, fellow kids cringe (Chasing Love) to actually psychologically harmful (Every Man’s Battle). It’s not a huge compliment to start off by noting that Pokluda falls into none of these traps, but it’s also apparently a great achievement.
Outdated is divided into three parts: 1) Why We Date, 2) Who We Date, and 3) How We Date. Part one sets his ground rules: Singleness is okay, and dating should have the goal of marriage. This foundation changes a lot of how modern dating is treated, where dating is seen as a part of normal social life. If the goal isn’t marriage, Pokluda says, it isn’t dating. And that changes the context, boundaries, and goals of the relationship. This is a super healthy, grounded foundation that sets the stage for what’s to come.
Next part is Who to Date. Some in Christian culture are wanting on The One. It’s supposed to be the person that is absolutely perfect for you and if you don’t get him or her, then it’s all ruined. Pokluda exposes that for the myth (and mathematical impossibility) that it is, and follows it up by tackling the myths of Love At First Sight, and Love is A Feeling. Pokluda—again basing the dating relationship on the foundation of friendship with a goal of marriage—portrays dating as something about shared lives, that involve substantive relationships based on deliberate choices. Nothing is exactly revolutionary, but it’s way different than the way dating is something portrayed and it’s done simply and conversationally.
The last part discusses how to date. Here, JP covers the issues of setting boundaries, growing the relationship, and how to know when to break up (or pop the question). Again, nothing here is wrong. JP’s worlds less cringey than other evangelical takes on the matter, and my only criticism is that I really wanted more substance. Somebody is finally setting the groundwork of dating in a clear, concise, Christian way, but the book’s length keeps him from really doing a deep dive on subjects that we can’t afford to stay shallow on.
One other note: It’s a relatively minor point, but it irked me (@ me if you want, Pokluda), but Pokluda writes with absolute certainty that all marriages are dissolved in heaven. Writing on singleness, he uses the Saducee’s catch-22 and Jesus’s response as evidence for marriage not being a thing. I’m not convinced. I could pull out my Greek textbook, but this isn’t really the place. Let’s just say that it’s super awkward to write a whole book about the process of getting married, but then say that when God comes and makes everything perfect, that relationship won’t exist anymore.
Outdated is a concise, foundational manual for Christian dating. I’m not convinced it’s enough. There’s so much that our youth get thrown at them—damaging elements of purity culture on the religious right, anything-goes culture of the secular left. Outdated correctly stands in the middle, placing itself as the reasonable third option, but I don’t know that it does enough.
And maybe that’s okay, because, let’s face it, some guy you’ll neve meet who wrote a book probably shouldn’t be the key influence in your child’s dating life. Outdated is a good resource, but it’s just that—a resource. It could be deeper, it could be more substantive, but it’s a starting point. I give it credit for that. Fresh, foundational, and fun, the principles in Outdated aren’t new, but they just could be revolutionary. JP Pokluda’s witty addition to Christian teenage dating books just may be the breakthrough that Christian culture needs.
Outdated is divided into three parts: 1) Why We Date, 2) Who We Date, and 3) How We Date. Part one sets his ground rules: Singleness is okay, and dating should have the goal of marriage. This foundation changes a lot of how modern dating is treated, where dating is seen as a part of normal social life. If the goal isn’t marriage, Pokluda says, it isn’t dating. And that changes the context, boundaries, and goals of the relationship. This is a super healthy, grounded foundation that sets the stage for what’s to come.
Next part is Who to Date. Some in Christian culture are wanting on The One. It’s supposed to be the person that is absolutely perfect for you and if you don’t get him or her, then it’s all ruined. Pokluda exposes that for the myth (and mathematical impossibility) that it is, and follows it up by tackling the myths of Love At First Sight, and Love is A Feeling. Pokluda—again basing the dating relationship on the foundation of friendship with a goal of marriage—portrays dating as something about shared lives, that involve substantive relationships based on deliberate choices. Nothing is exactly revolutionary, but it’s way different than the way dating is something portrayed and it’s done simply and conversationally.
The last part discusses how to date. Here, JP covers the issues of setting boundaries, growing the relationship, and how to know when to break up (or pop the question). Again, nothing here is wrong. JP’s worlds less cringey than other evangelical takes on the matter, and my only criticism is that I really wanted more substance. Somebody is finally setting the groundwork of dating in a clear, concise, Christian way, but the book’s length keeps him from really doing a deep dive on subjects that we can’t afford to stay shallow on.
One other note: It’s a relatively minor point, but it irked me (@ me if you want, Pokluda), but Pokluda writes with absolute certainty that all marriages are dissolved in heaven. Writing on singleness, he uses the Saducee’s catch-22 and Jesus’s response as evidence for marriage not being a thing. I’m not convinced. I could pull out my Greek textbook, but this isn’t really the place. Let’s just say that it’s super awkward to write a whole book about the process of getting married, but then say that when God comes and makes everything perfect, that relationship won’t exist anymore.
Outdated is a concise, foundational manual for Christian dating. I’m not convinced it’s enough. There’s so much that our youth get thrown at them—damaging elements of purity culture on the religious right, anything-goes culture of the secular left. Outdated correctly stands in the middle, placing itself as the reasonable third option, but I don’t know that it does enough.
And maybe that’s okay, because, let’s face it, some guy you’ll neve meet who wrote a book probably shouldn’t be the key influence in your child’s dating life. Outdated is a good resource, but it’s just that—a resource. It could be deeper, it could be more substantive, but it’s a starting point. I give it credit for that. Fresh, foundational, and fun, the principles in Outdated aren’t new, but they just could be revolutionary. JP Pokluda’s witty addition to Christian teenage dating books just may be the breakthrough that Christian culture needs.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 13, 2021
5 stars // finished October 2021
This was really helpful to me. I’ve felt a bit lost as to how to approach dating as a Christian. Any books that I’ve come across have either been too vague to be helpful, or conversely, were TMI (can’t I just find out what I need to know without feeling dirty?). Add that to seeing people I know and love stuck in abusive relationships, and it’s enough to make a girl wonder if healthy, Godly romance is even a possibility.
Reading Outdated was like a breath of fresh air. It’s clear, practical, and (gasp!) even funny dating advice from a Christian perspective. He contrasts different myths about dating (and romantic relationships in general) that are prevalent in our culture to a Biblical standard. He points out that singleness itself is not a bad thing and can actually be a gift. We shouldn’t treat dating as a game; we should date someone only if we could potentially see that person as a spouse.
Overall, I would highly recommend Outdated to anyone who is single.
This was really helpful to me. I’ve felt a bit lost as to how to approach dating as a Christian. Any books that I’ve come across have either been too vague to be helpful, or conversely, were TMI (can’t I just find out what I need to know without feeling dirty?). Add that to seeing people I know and love stuck in abusive relationships, and it’s enough to make a girl wonder if healthy, Godly romance is even a possibility.
Reading Outdated was like a breath of fresh air. It’s clear, practical, and (gasp!) even funny dating advice from a Christian perspective. He contrasts different myths about dating (and romantic relationships in general) that are prevalent in our culture to a Biblical standard. He points out that singleness itself is not a bad thing and can actually be a gift. We shouldn’t treat dating as a game; we should date someone only if we could potentially see that person as a spouse.
Overall, I would highly recommend Outdated to anyone who is single.
March 6, 2021
As someone who listens to a decent number of Christian podcasts on dating, this book didn’t provide me with any new information. It felt like a regurgitation of what I hear from every happily married pastor, and didn’t address most of the frustrations I have with Christian dating culture.
But, it also didn’t piss me off that much—a rarity when reading about dating from a Christian dude.
There is some good advice, and it is well-rooted in scripture, but I don’t really recommend you spend time on it. Just listen to The Porch podcasts. And then go read Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller.
But, it also didn’t piss me off that much—a rarity when reading about dating from a Christian dude.
There is some good advice, and it is well-rooted in scripture, but I don’t really recommend you spend time on it. Just listen to The Porch podcasts. And then go read Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller.
March 24, 2021
You lost me on many issues but especially when you said women shouldn't ask men out first because it will enable the men to be passive. Give me a break.
March 22, 2021
One of the best Biblically saturated books I have read on dating! Highly recommend!
March 13, 2023
A lot of great info about Biblical relationships for teens and young adults.
Didn't get that much out of it unfortunately.
Didn't get that much out of it unfortunately.
August 8, 2021
I love JP and I listen to everyone of his sermons so I listened to this on audible as soon as it came out. Honestly, I was a little disappointed.
I just think it wasnt very deep and didn’t have a lot of scripture included in it. I know dating is not a Biblical topic but purity, accountability and discipline is. There weren’t too many examples or stories in it which is why I usually like JPs sermons so much because he is good at applying scriptures to everyday life moments.
I also wouldn’t recommend it to a new believer because it is a tad bit legalistic in my opinion, but that could be easily mitigated through talking about it before you give it to them!
I just think it wasnt very deep and didn’t have a lot of scripture included in it. I know dating is not a Biblical topic but purity, accountability and discipline is. There weren’t too many examples or stories in it which is why I usually like JPs sermons so much because he is good at applying scriptures to everyday life moments.
I also wouldn’t recommend it to a new believer because it is a tad bit legalistic in my opinion, but that could be easily mitigated through talking about it before you give it to them!
June 30, 2021
A biblically sound perspective from someone who's experienced firsthand the blessing and downfalls of different dating styles. While I already agreed with his viewpoint on many things, it's always nice to be reminded why I do what I do. This book is well organized, thorough, full of Bible verses and statistics, and pulls no punches. (The dry humor is also on point.) It's not for the fainthearted, which is why I think everyone who wants their relationship (present or future) to succeed should read it. I highly recommend it for singles, dating couples, and parents of both.
March 14, 2021
What a great book. I wish I would have had this book when I was younger. I wasn't really popular or a beauty, so getting a dated was hard. I felt such loneliness and left out while most of my friends had boyfriends and were going out on dates. I cried a lot. When I started my career I settled for the first guy that showed interest in me. It wasn't love, but I felt like I had finally found someone who liked me and thought I was pretty. I got pregnant, got married, and stayed married for twenty three years in a loveless marriage. Divorcing after twenty three years.
I am happily remarried now and had a daughter at the age of forty three, She is nineteen now and going to college. She never mentions having a boyfriend or dating. I am going to give this book to her. I think it will make a difference in her life. Thanks Jonathan for writing this book. It is never to late. I hope this book leads her down the right path in her dating life. Never settle. I highly recommend.
I am happily remarried now and had a daughter at the age of forty three, She is nineteen now and going to college. She never mentions having a boyfriend or dating. I am going to give this book to her. I think it will make a difference in her life. Thanks Jonathan for writing this book. It is never to late. I hope this book leads her down the right path in her dating life. Never settle. I highly recommend.
January 14, 2023
Read this at the request of a friend. Good points but simplistic and most of the book I kept thinking “well duh”. But I’m sure it would be great for younger people.
Halfway through there was this line: “Men you are outnumbered ;there are more godly women who deeply desire to get married than are godly men who have the guts to ask them out. If you want to serve, I can’t think of a bigger service opportunity than that. I know you want to be a hero; this is your chance”
Excuse me?
No bigger service opportunity???? Did Africa run out of orphans to care for? Did the homeless cease to have needs? And I’m sorry but if a guy feels the need to be a hero, and that’s the thing that makes him one…honestly, it’s insulting and condescending.
Surely there’s a book out there making the same good points that doesn’t read like this.
Halfway through there was this line: “Men you are outnumbered ;there are more godly women who deeply desire to get married than are godly men who have the guts to ask them out. If you want to serve, I can’t think of a bigger service opportunity than that. I know you want to be a hero; this is your chance”
Excuse me?
No bigger service opportunity???? Did Africa run out of orphans to care for? Did the homeless cease to have needs? And I’m sorry but if a guy feels the need to be a hero, and that’s the thing that makes him one…honestly, it’s insulting and condescending.
Surely there’s a book out there making the same good points that doesn’t read like this.
April 20, 2023
Read/listened to this because it was free on audible and I was curious to hear the all famous JP talk about one of his most popular topics with young adults.
I could write an essay on things I disliked about this book but I’ll keep it short and sweet - unlike this book. 30% was superfluous fluff that could burn like chaff in the wind and not detract from the book at all, 40% was common sense that you could easily have learned from talking to the old and new married couples in your congregation, 5% scripture/Jesus talk which was incredibly welcomed, and 25% was the coddling of the evangelical-American mind hyper fixated on getting hitched. Sorry, not sorry.
Disclaimer - I’ve never been JP’s biggest fan and I went into this book with a lot of presuppositions which is admittedly unfair to him as an author. But still.. just wow.. I do not understand the hype around him.
I could write an essay on things I disliked about this book but I’ll keep it short and sweet - unlike this book. 30% was superfluous fluff that could burn like chaff in the wind and not detract from the book at all, 40% was common sense that you could easily have learned from talking to the old and new married couples in your congregation, 5% scripture/Jesus talk which was incredibly welcomed, and 25% was the coddling of the evangelical-American mind hyper fixated on getting hitched. Sorry, not sorry.
Disclaimer - I’ve never been JP’s biggest fan and I went into this book with a lot of presuppositions which is admittedly unfair to him as an author. But still.. just wow.. I do not understand the hype around him.
October 3, 2023
I thoroughly enjoyed this book by JP. He's one of my favorite pastors to listen to because of his humor and his love for the Lord, so it was fun reading this! He's very thorough, straight up, and honest about the lies the world has told us about singleness, dating, and marriage, and what God says about those things.
As a single, 20-year-old woman who wants to do the whole dating and marriage thing right, this was very insightful and helpful because JP shares the red flags, the things one should look for in a future spouse, and what would be ideal. JP shared the love, forgiveness, and grace of Christ throughout this book and I highly recommend this book if you're dipping your toe in the dating pool, have been dating and it's not working out, dating and wondering if you should marry them, or you're just curious about the "outdated" advice he gives about romance.👍🏼
Happy Reading!✨
As a single, 20-year-old woman who wants to do the whole dating and marriage thing right, this was very insightful and helpful because JP shares the red flags, the things one should look for in a future spouse, and what would be ideal. JP shared the love, forgiveness, and grace of Christ throughout this book and I highly recommend this book if you're dipping your toe in the dating pool, have been dating and it's not working out, dating and wondering if you should marry them, or you're just curious about the "outdated" advice he gives about romance.👍🏼
Happy Reading!✨
March 1, 2021
I admire Jonathan Pokluda as a teacher because he does not tiptoe around truth. In this book, he does a fantastic job of exploring the idea of dating and singleness in our culture and the purpose that these things serve in our lives. Outdated is full of Scripture as each chapter explores a different misunderstanding around relationships and marriage. Pokluda’s passion for all believers to participate in God-glorifying relationships is very evident. I greatly enjoyed this book!
February 5, 2023
This book was so practical and insightful! There were some (very few) things in this book I’m not sure I 100% agree with, but overall a solid book on dating. I recommend this to anyone in their late teens!
June 10, 2022
Great book! Basically a culmination of all the healthy dating advice given by the church. Love the simplicity of saying that JP talks about and I wish I could lovingly force people to read it. It’s clear the author is used to talking with 20s-30s based on the way he writes and speaks to the audience.
February 24, 2021
This book was gooooood! Reviewed a lot of the things he talks about in his podcast Becoming Something. Overall good 😌
May 22, 2024
Kindle Review:
I mentioned earlier in the audio review below that I wanted more Bible verses in the beginning. When I read the Kindle book, I realized that they were all footnotes that the narrator did not read.
Audio Review:
This is one of the best Christian books I have read on dating. The advice was Biblical (though I would have preferred more Scripture in the beginning chapters) and the author had a fantastic dry humor with good examples to back up his points. None of his advice was anything that I hadn't heard before, but it was a good reminder.
5 Stars
I mentioned earlier in the audio review below that I wanted more Bible verses in the beginning. When I read the Kindle book, I realized that they were all footnotes that the narrator did not read.
Audio Review:
This is one of the best Christian books I have read on dating. The advice was Biblical (though I would have preferred more Scripture in the beginning chapters) and the author had a fantastic dry humor with good examples to back up his points. None of his advice was anything that I hadn't heard before, but it was a good reminder.
5 Stars
March 5, 2021
I read this book in about a day, it was that good. Author and Pastor JP truly is a God-fearing man with incredible wisdom and insight into dating, relationships, marriage done the right way. Seriously, I think every single person should read this book. The world would be changed if that happened. I think the closing statement of this book sums everything up beautifully: “Make sure you know the One you’ll be ‘married’ to forever. Find someone else who is already ‘married’ well to Jesus, and then spend this life pursuing him together.”
November 1, 2022
This is seriously excellent. Biblical and sound, unlike way too many "dating" books out there. If you have children dating age, read this book. Then pass it on to them. If you're single, read this book. Then pass it on to a friend. If you're married, read this book. Glean some nuggets for yourselves and find ways to minister to others as they navigate dating and marriage.Then pass it on to another couple. Let's, as a church body, change the way we view dating, for our good and God's glory!
March 27, 2023
lmao
very standard. nothing new except for some hard and fast opinions branded as holy.
honestly, it wasn’t as bad as I thought and i even agreed with most of it.
just an unfortunate strong complimentarian slant featuring strong dichotomized gender roles.
very standard. nothing new except for some hard and fast opinions branded as holy.
honestly, it wasn’t as bad as I thought and i even agreed with most of it.
just an unfortunate strong complimentarian slant featuring strong dichotomized gender roles.
February 20, 2021
This book is a must read for any single person trying to date in 2021! As a Christian, dating really isn’t that hard and JP lays it all out there in Outdated. In a world where dating has become more difficult, while divorce rates skyrocket, JP provides practical ways to date well and have a marriage that is reflective of the Gospel!
*I received an advanced reader copy from the author*
*I received an advanced reader copy from the author*
June 1, 2021
Also stopped reading this one - made it about 150pages or so. I also thought this had a lot of potential and was excited to get some wisdom
and encouragement in the realm of Christian dating. But unfortunately I found the way Poudlaka delivered the messaged was like a youth pastor lecturing me on what I should do. And yeah, I know that’s literally his role. But it didn’t feel down to earth, felt like he was at a pulpit. He kept saying how he had made a lot of mistakes and he wasn’t perfect and he “gets it”. But it didn’t actually feel like that to me, more so he met the right one and then it all fell into place for him and now looking back can tell us what he should have done. I didn’t feel encouraged when reading this so I decided to stop. What he’s saying is grounded in scripture and he’s not wrong about his teaching, but just not the guy I wanna hear it from.
and encouragement in the realm of Christian dating. But unfortunately I found the way Poudlaka delivered the messaged was like a youth pastor lecturing me on what I should do. And yeah, I know that’s literally his role. But it didn’t feel down to earth, felt like he was at a pulpit. He kept saying how he had made a lot of mistakes and he wasn’t perfect and he “gets it”. But it didn’t actually feel like that to me, more so he met the right one and then it all fell into place for him and now looking back can tell us what he should have done. I didn’t feel encouraged when reading this so I decided to stop. What he’s saying is grounded in scripture and he’s not wrong about his teaching, but just not the guy I wanna hear it from.
August 15, 2022
If I could leave this book zero stars; I would. As a younger person, this book is absolutely terrible at teaching me how to find a good, Christian partner. His entire attitude for this book is absolutely horrendous and judgemental. You can definately tell that this man has a savior complex and does not understand the pure foundations of dating and the mutual respect in dating. I would never have chosen this book to read on my own because even the cover of the book looks completely outdated. Outdated as in oppression, the great depression, and submission. this book instead was given by my Christian school. Clearly none of the administration read this book beforehand, and if they did; they should be ashamed of their choices and what they are feeding our minds in this so called christian enviornment.
May 1, 2023
I’ve heard so many of JP’s thoughts in relationships through his podcast “Becoming Something,” but this book really lays out how to date well as a Christian. JP does a great job of writing on a topic that is not seen in the Bible, but applies lots of biblical concepts throughout. Specifically, I appreciated his emphasis on the priority of both parties being fully devoted to Christ and prioritizing that over anything else.
This book would not only benefit the single or dating Christian to read, but anyone who may be in community with, mentoring, or raising the next generation of Christians.
This book would not only benefit the single or dating Christian to read, but anyone who may be in community with, mentoring, or raising the next generation of Christians.
February 9, 2024
feelings are unreliable, but love is a active commitment: when you serve selflessly, speak kindly, and pursue faithfully, your feelings will follow. 1 corinthians 13 depicts Gods definition of love as things you do, not things you feel. this book is a great step in training your eyes and heart to desire someone fully devoted as a follower of Christ, who, as “yoked together” with you, will encourage you in your relationship with the Lord. “The heart is deceitful above all things,” so intentionality is necessary to train it & guard it. reprogram your heart by changing what you feed it.
desiring a devoted follower of Christ necessitates an internal building of the same characteristics you seek out. it’s important to be controlled, responsible, obedient, serving, & steady in order to love another person to the extent God asks of us. the most loving thing you can do for your future spouse is to fully devote your life to Christ, and the fruit that occur from that lifestyle will benefit both of you in your marriage.
desiring a devoted follower of Christ necessitates an internal building of the same characteristics you seek out. it’s important to be controlled, responsible, obedient, serving, & steady in order to love another person to the extent God asks of us. the most loving thing you can do for your future spouse is to fully devote your life to Christ, and the fruit that occur from that lifestyle will benefit both of you in your marriage.
June 12, 2023
(this review is for high school age girls looking to read this book)
First, this book is great, I love the writing style, and every chapter feels like a sermon (which is a plus for me). The content is all truthful and biblical. I like J.P.'s stories and enjoyed reading them.
My only issue I (personally) had with this book is actually more of a blessing. More of the points being made were how not to date rather than how to date, and for a girl raised in a Christian home I simply didn't relate to a lot being said. Additionally, the author is a man mostly addressing other young men, as he should, but as a girl reading this I would argue some of the things (mostly in the later chapters) don't apply to women.
I don't write this to persuade you not to read it, it's an excellent book and I still give it a high star rating. My intent is to tell other young women that this book is not a how-to manual for dating; I would say it's more of a how-to-not manual for dating. Both are useful in the world, but I had different expectations going in.
First, this book is great, I love the writing style, and every chapter feels like a sermon (which is a plus for me). The content is all truthful and biblical. I like J.P.'s stories and enjoyed reading them.
My only issue I (personally) had with this book is actually more of a blessing. More of the points being made were how not to date rather than how to date, and for a girl raised in a Christian home I simply didn't relate to a lot being said. Additionally, the author is a man mostly addressing other young men, as he should, but as a girl reading this I would argue some of the things (mostly in the later chapters) don't apply to women.
I don't write this to persuade you not to read it, it's an excellent book and I still give it a high star rating. My intent is to tell other young women that this book is not a how-to manual for dating; I would say it's more of a how-to-not manual for dating. Both are useful in the world, but I had different expectations going in.
June 15, 2024
2.5 stars
told myself i’d never read this book lol but here i am! overall it was good ish message, for sure lots of good truth here, but also pretty legalistic & would have liked more reference to the scripture.
i think some good main take aways are don’t date unless ur ready to be married & protect ur gift of singleness it’s good! so amen to that but def felt like there were some points he was just too drama about ie. date someone even if ur not attracted to them & the whole u shouldn’t be with someone just bc they make u feel good, like bro i’m sorry that’s like such a crazy thing to say. for sure it shouldn’t be the whole reason but that’s like why u start dating someone bc u like being around them? i rly don’t think it’s selfish? ur evaluating them & figuring out why u love them past just like being around them? AND THEN when he said the greatest service opportunity a christian man can do is to ask out a christian girl,,, he lost me.
told myself i’d never read this book lol but here i am! overall it was good ish message, for sure lots of good truth here, but also pretty legalistic & would have liked more reference to the scripture.
i think some good main take aways are don’t date unless ur ready to be married & protect ur gift of singleness it’s good! so amen to that but def felt like there were some points he was just too drama about ie. date someone even if ur not attracted to them & the whole u shouldn’t be with someone just bc they make u feel good, like bro i’m sorry that’s like such a crazy thing to say. for sure it shouldn’t be the whole reason but that’s like why u start dating someone bc u like being around them? i rly don’t think it’s selfish? ur evaluating them & figuring out why u love them past just like being around them? AND THEN when he said the greatest service opportunity a christian man can do is to ask out a christian girl,,, he lost me.
June 8, 2024
pretty solid, and enjoyable to read
a lot of very very obvious stuff (“don’t live together until you’re married” 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯) but if nothing else it reinforces / reminds you and maybe prepares you to better explain something to a friend.
overall some good practical advice but nothing was mind blowing. Not Yet Married is better
a lot of very very obvious stuff (“don’t live together until you’re married” 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯) but if nothing else it reinforces / reminds you and maybe prepares you to better explain something to a friend.
overall some good practical advice but nothing was mind blowing. Not Yet Married is better
January 3, 2023
Thanks Morgan for this read!!
A lot of really good bits of wisdom in this, and it’s changed a lot of the ways I’ve thought about marriage and dating. A couple of things were questionable to me, but overall, a really helpful read.
A lot of really good bits of wisdom in this, and it’s changed a lot of the ways I’ve thought about marriage and dating. A couple of things were questionable to me, but overall, a really helpful read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 738 reviews