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Osemanverse #11
Loveless
For fans of Love, Simon and I Wish You All the Best, a funny, honest, messy, completely relatable story of a girl who realizes that love can be found in many ways that don't involve sex or romance.
From the marvelous author of Heartstopper comes an exceptional YA novel about discovering that it's okay if you don't have sexual or romantic feelings for anyone . . . since there are plenty of other ways to find love and connection.
This is the funny, honest, messy, completely relatable story of Georgia, who doesn't understand why she can't crush and kiss and make out like her friends do. She's surrounded by the narrative that dating + sex = love. It's not until she gets to college that she discovers the A range of the LGBTQIA+ spectrum -- coming to understand herself as asexual/aromantic. Disrupting the narrative that she's been told since birth isn't easy -- there are many mistakes along the way to inviting people into a newly found articulation of an always-known part of your identity. But Georgia's determined to get her life right, with the help of (and despite the major drama of) her friends.
From the marvelous author of Heartstopper comes an exceptional YA novel about discovering that it's okay if you don't have sexual or romantic feelings for anyone . . . since there are plenty of other ways to find love and connection.
This is the funny, honest, messy, completely relatable story of Georgia, who doesn't understand why she can't crush and kiss and make out like her friends do. She's surrounded by the narrative that dating + sex = love. It's not until she gets to college that she discovers the A range of the LGBTQIA+ spectrum -- coming to understand herself as asexual/aromantic. Disrupting the narrative that she's been told since birth isn't easy -- there are many mistakes along the way to inviting people into a newly found articulation of an always-known part of your identity. But Georgia's determined to get her life right, with the help of (and despite the major drama of) her friends.
432 pages, Hardcover
First published July 9, 2020
About the author
Alice Oseman
64 books89k followersAlice Oseman is an award-winning author, illustrator, and screenwriter, and was born in 1994 in Kent, England. She has written four YA contemporary novels about teenage disasters: SOLITAIRE, RADIO SILENCE, I WAS BORN FOR THIS, and LOVELESS. She is the creator of LGBTQ+ YA romance webcomic HEARTSTOPPER, which is now published in physical form by Hachette Children's Books, and she is the writer, creator, and executive producer for the television adaptation of HEARTSTOPPER, which is set to be released on Netflix.
Alice’s first novel SOLITAIRE was published when she was nineteen. Her YA novels have been nominated for the YA Book Prize, the Inky Awards, the Carnegie Medal, and the Goodreads Choice Awards.
Alongside writing and drawing, Alice enjoys playing the piano semi-proficiently, Pokémon games, and purchasing too many Converse.
Find Alice on Twitter and Instagram @AliceOseman.
Alice’s first novel SOLITAIRE was published when she was nineteen. Her YA novels have been nominated for the YA Book Prize, the Inky Awards, the Carnegie Medal, and the Goodreads Choice Awards.
Alongside writing and drawing, Alice enjoys playing the piano semi-proficiently, Pokémon games, and purchasing too many Converse.
Find Alice on Twitter and Instagram @AliceOseman.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 19,367 reviews
October 27, 2020
One of my favourite things about following a writer's journey from the first book they published to their most recent work is that you can see how they grow and how much they improve their craft. It's like seeing your baby strive. Just fills me with joy. The first time I saw this happen was with Leigh Bardugo. With each of the Shadow & Bone books she improved her storytelling and then Six of Crows came around the corner and took. my. breath. away. It's so cool to see an artist find their rhythm and I can proudly say that Loveless is Alice at her best.
There are so many things I loved. It was a super sex-positive novel and a whole chapter was dedicated to masturbation. It also happened to be the funniest chapter in the book and had me in tears on the floor. It's important to know that there is no shame in having many casual sexual partners, no shame in masturbation. Equally important is the knowledge that even though it seems like everyone is obsessed with sex and finding a partner, it's perfectly okay if you've not kissed anyone, whether you're 18 or 24 or 40. Either it wasn't the right moment or it's not for you. And while there's so much pressure to have a relationship and to lose your virginity, our worth isn't measured in the age that we first had sex, when we came out or if we did either of these things in the first place. No one has the right to make you feel bad for being you and taking things at your own stride.
I also loved the strong focus on friendships. Friends, even best friends, often seems to take the runner-up position once someone is in a relationship and it frustrates me when I see that happening. I'd argue that friends are the most important relationships in your life. And like any relationship, friendships go through ups and downs and need attention and care. But good friends will always be there for you and never leave your side. That's why I so enjoy novels about friendships. I don't need romance. Friendships are just as real and complex and fascinating.
Something else that was incredibly well-done was the slow-burn romance between two characters that I won't be naming. It's pretty obvious once you start reading and I knew they would end up together eventually but I don't want to take the surprise away in case you were gnawing at your nails because you couldn't cope with the tension. It was so GOOD. And so FUNNY. I've said it before: Alice Oseman is so good at writing slow-burn romance that sometimes two characters that are clearly made for each other don't even end up together at the end of the book *cough*IWBFT*cough*. Luckily, this time they did but it was a long and entertaining and incredibly cute journey. And I must say that the humour is this book was so on point. (Three words: wank fantasy sisters.)
Generally, the diversity and representation in this book filled my heart with love. So much queerness, so inclusive, and so careful to avoid stereotypes and harmful representation (0fc I can't speak for everyone with my own limited experience but it all felt genuine). It never feels forced, never feels like tokenism. It also made me look back at my term at the University of Edinburgh, and although I wasn't exactly a fresher, I was new to the university and went to pub nights and parties and pride soc meetings just like the characters in the book. It felt so accurate and real, even though it's set in Durham, not Edinburgh.
I'm also happy for the aromantic and asexual community and that the visibility and representation in books and the media of people on the spectrum is slowly growing. Just as gay novels helped me see myself for who I am, helped me feel validated and grow, I know that this book has the potential to reach aro/ace readers and do similar things for them and hopefully helps other voices to be heard. One experience isn't everyone's experience and it's important to have a variety of perspectives.
In other words, we don’t deserve Alice Oseman.
Find more of my books on Instagram
There are so many things I loved. It was a super sex-positive novel and a whole chapter was dedicated to masturbation. It also happened to be the funniest chapter in the book and had me in tears on the floor. It's important to know that there is no shame in having many casual sexual partners, no shame in masturbation. Equally important is the knowledge that even though it seems like everyone is obsessed with sex and finding a partner, it's perfectly okay if you've not kissed anyone, whether you're 18 or 24 or 40. Either it wasn't the right moment or it's not for you. And while there's so much pressure to have a relationship and to lose your virginity, our worth isn't measured in the age that we first had sex, when we came out or if we did either of these things in the first place. No one has the right to make you feel bad for being you and taking things at your own stride.
I also loved the strong focus on friendships. Friends, even best friends, often seems to take the runner-up position once someone is in a relationship and it frustrates me when I see that happening. I'd argue that friends are the most important relationships in your life. And like any relationship, friendships go through ups and downs and need attention and care. But good friends will always be there for you and never leave your side. That's why I so enjoy novels about friendships. I don't need romance. Friendships are just as real and complex and fascinating.
Something else that was incredibly well-done was the slow-burn romance between two characters that I won't be naming. It's pretty obvious once you start reading and I knew they would end up together eventually but I don't want to take the surprise away in case you were gnawing at your nails because you couldn't cope with the tension. It was so GOOD. And so FUNNY. I've said it before: Alice Oseman is so good at writing slow-burn romance that sometimes two characters that are clearly made for each other don't even end up together at the end of the book *cough*IWBFT*cough*. Luckily, this time they did but it was a long and entertaining and incredibly cute journey. And I must say that the humour is this book was so on point. (Three words: wank fantasy sisters.)
Generally, the diversity and representation in this book filled my heart with love. So much queerness, so inclusive, and so careful to avoid stereotypes and harmful representation (0fc I can't speak for everyone with my own limited experience but it all felt genuine). It never feels forced, never feels like tokenism. It also made me look back at my term at the University of Edinburgh, and although I wasn't exactly a fresher, I was new to the university and went to pub nights and parties and pride soc meetings just like the characters in the book. It felt so accurate and real, even though it's set in Durham, not Edinburgh.
I'm also happy for the aromantic and asexual community and that the visibility and representation in books and the media of people on the spectrum is slowly growing. Just as gay novels helped me see myself for who I am, helped me feel validated and grow, I know that this book has the potential to reach aro/ace readers and do similar things for them and hopefully helps other voices to be heard. One experience isn't everyone's experience and it's important to have a variety of perspectives.
In other words, we don’t deserve Alice Oseman.
Find more of my books on Instagram
March 1, 2024
1000*I don't know how to talk about things I like *stars!
It was a lot.
Like a" lot a lot".
This book is a part of me and I felt it in heart right in the middle and my soul .
©Ctto
Platonic love+ friendship + drama+ college life+ lots of Shakespeare
I have read quite a few books in which ace or aro characters are used as side characters but this book here guys took the concept of friendship love story
to a whole new level!
It's quaint , cute , magical and lovely . This book made me so deeply emotional the way their friendship was explored and scented !!
Okay so moving on to the characters ( I really really love all five of them soo much!!)
1. Georgia :- aro/ace protagonist ,shy, confused about herself, introvert, hates partying not because she is under confident but she dreads the idea of sweat bodies and slippery floors, loves theatre ,who sets off to journey to her college in search of love but end up realizing that how platonic friendship are just as important and just as beautiful !! I really really love her like I could totally connect to her expect some parts. I wanna quote some parts here:-
Are you getting the idea what I am saying?
I can't here literally tell you what I am feeling but yes I am feeling something so strong and important right now because of this book that I have never felt in ages!
2. Roomey :- pan-sexual , Georgia roommate , fun , bubbly , Shakespeare fanatic , chaotic ball of energy, sex positive party girl, scared of getting close to people.
3. Pip and Jason :- Georgia bestfriend.
Pip ( highly lesbian) Jason( intellectual guy).
4. Sunil :- non binary ace , confident, eloquent, wise ,president of pride society .
The story involved a lot of drama like two characters falling in love, Georgia hurting her best friends feelings in quest of identifying herself, Fights, banter , love , friendship , setting up Shakespeare plays ( yes all five of them set up Shakespeare society !)
It's a roller coaster ride!
Now there are some really beautiful scenes, where literally they proposed each other like love confessions with friends , it's new , refreshing and I want it to totally normal!
I was crying reading the end like my life depends on it. This book made such a strong impact on me! Like I guess I am never gonna forget it ever! And I know I will be rereading it again and again because why not if something makes you happy you should adore it !
Some more lines :-
✒How had I never noticed that before? Like, almost all songs ever written are about romance or sex. And it felt like they were taunting me.
✒The idea of romance was beautiful. But the reality made me sick.
✒I felt like I was grieving. I was grieving this fake life, a fantasy future that I was never going to live.
✒And this time there was no big declaration. No grand gesture.
It was just us, holding each other.
✒I had been so desperate for my idea of true love that I couldn’t even see it when it was right in front of my face. 🎈
" I used to dream of a spellbinding, endless, forever romance. A beautiful story of meeting a person who could change your whole world.
But now, I realized, friendship could be that too."
It was a lot.
Like a" lot a lot".
This book is a part of me and I felt it in heart right in the middle and my soul .
©Ctto
Platonic love+ friendship + drama+ college life+ lots of Shakespeare
I have read quite a few books in which ace or aro characters are used as side characters but this book here guys took the concept of friendship love story
to a whole new level!
It's quaint , cute , magical and lovely . This book made me so deeply emotional the way their friendship was explored and scented !!
Okay so moving on to the characters ( I really really love all five of them soo much!!)
1. Georgia :- aro/ace protagonist ,shy, confused about herself, introvert, hates partying not because she is under confident but she dreads the idea of sweat bodies and slippery floors, loves theatre ,who sets off to journey to her college in search of love but end up realizing that how platonic friendship are just as important and just as beautiful !! I really really love her like I could totally connect to her expect some parts. I wanna quote some parts here:-
"I might just have a brain aneurism at any moment and then I’d be dead, without having fallen in love, without having even figured out who I was and what I wanted."
"It was so easy to romanticize romance because it was everywhere. I could see it all, all the time, all around, but when I got closer, I found that nothing was there.
A mirage."
"Picturing fanfic characters having sex? Great. Fine. Sexy. But picturing myself having sex with anyone, guy, girl, whoever, didn’t interest me.
Are you getting the idea what I am saying?
I can't here literally tell you what I am feeling but yes I am feeling something so strong and important right now because of this book that I have never felt in ages!
2. Roomey :- pan-sexual , Georgia roommate , fun , bubbly , Shakespeare fanatic , chaotic ball of energy, sex positive party girl, scared of getting close to people.
3. Pip and Jason :- Georgia bestfriend.
Pip ( highly lesbian) Jason( intellectual guy).
4. Sunil :- non binary ace , confident, eloquent, wise ,president of pride society .
The story involved a lot of drama like two characters falling in love, Georgia hurting her best friends feelings in quest of identifying herself, Fights, banter , love , friendship , setting up Shakespeare plays ( yes all five of them set up Shakespeare society !)
It's a roller coaster ride!
Now there are some really beautiful scenes, where literally they proposed each other like love confessions with friends , it's new , refreshing and I want it to totally normal!
I was crying reading the end like my life depends on it. This book made such a strong impact on me! Like I guess I am never gonna forget it ever! And I know I will be rereading it again and again because why not if something makes you happy you should adore it !
Some more lines :-
✒How had I never noticed that before? Like, almost all songs ever written are about romance or sex. And it felt like they were taunting me.
✒The idea of romance was beautiful. But the reality made me sick.
✒I felt like I was grieving. I was grieving this fake life, a fantasy future that I was never going to live.
✒And this time there was no big declaration. No grand gesture.
It was just us, holding each other.
✒I had been so desperate for my idea of true love that I couldn’t even see it when it was right in front of my face. 🎈
May 15, 2020
LOVELESS is my fourth YA novel! It features:
- an aromantic asexual coming-out story set at Durham University
- a small group of unlikely friends trying to save the Shakespeare Society by putting on a very weird play
- a plan to 'find love' that goes very wrong indeed
- a directorial rivalry fraught with sexual tension between two queer girls
- a battle on a bouncy castle
- some very strong opinions about Scooby-Doo
- learning that platonic love can be just as powerful - if not more so, sometimes - than romantic love
I really hope you enjoy it!!
Available to pre-order now!
UK: Waterstones / Amazon / Hive / Foyles
Ireland: Easons
Aus/NZ: Dymocks
International: Book Depository
- an aromantic asexual coming-out story set at Durham University
- a small group of unlikely friends trying to save the Shakespeare Society by putting on a very weird play
- a plan to 'find love' that goes very wrong indeed
- a directorial rivalry fraught with sexual tension between two queer girls
- a battle on a bouncy castle
- some very strong opinions about Scooby-Doo
- learning that platonic love can be just as powerful - if not more so, sometimes - than romantic love
I really hope you enjoy it!!
Available to pre-order now!
UK: Waterstones / Amazon / Hive / Foyles
Ireland: Easons
Aus/NZ: Dymocks
International: Book Depository
February 6, 2023
➽ Radio Silence ★★★★★
➽ I Was Born for This ★★★★
I don’t want to do a full review on this because I do not want to fight with people on this. But I still will say some brief thoughts, because I know people will be curious, because most people have given this five stars. Also, so many of my friends saw themselves within these pages and that’s so important and so valid. Here are some of their reviews that I recommend you check out: Ellie, Jill, & Lily!
Sadly, for me, this book just made me feel an immense amount of shame. I ID as pansexual, panromantic, demiromantic. And in my opinion, I feel like this book very much makes the reader feel like this is THE ONLY aroace experience, and…. it is just not. Sexuality can be so very fluid, and especially your feelings and experiences on the aro and ace spectrums can be so very vast and different.
I also want to remind readers, especially young readers still searching for labels that feel right to them, that there is no right or wrong way to be queer within any identity. I also want to remind people that you do not owe anyone your sexual experiences. And that you can have casual sex, you can kiss your friends, you can go out every night to clubs, you can truly do whatever you want as long as you’re being safe and it’s making you happy. Also, some ace people do have sex, whether because they are indifferent, or being they choose to with their partner(s), or maybe even to have children, or maybe to just orgasm, there are a lot of different reasons, because there are a lot of different experiences on these spectrums. And there is no right or wrong.
The pan character in this book starts out as a confident, very sexually active character, but soon you learn she has a sad, abusive backstory, and uses sex as a coping mechanism because she feels unloveable (because obv that’s what pan representation needs more of in 2020, right?), and the character is even forced to call herself an asshole and apologize to the main character for a misunderstanding completely on the main characters part (while also making her acephobic as fuck before the misunderstanding happened!) It made me cry, it made me disgusted, and it made me feel so much shame that I don’t even have words to write in this non-review.
In my opinion, this main character is sex repulsed, which is valid, but those words are never used on page. Instead, she just shames any and everyone (friends and strangers) constantly for doing sexual things. She also assumes she knows the pan character’s partners and how they are horrible friends who don’t know her, based on absolutely nothing. The TL;DR is that not all ace people are disgusted by sex, or disgusted by other people choosing to do whatever they want with their own bodies and lives. And I think this story could be potentially very harmful for people, but especially teens, questioning themselves on the aro and ace spectrums.
Also, there are two people of color in this story; one is there to teach the main character about being aroace (and even though she does add a sentence about how she can google herself, she still uses them to completely educate her) and the other is her best friend who is incredibly loud and petty and mean for no reason, honestly.
Lastly, when the main character cared more about her jacket rather than pushing a human into a fire at the start of this novel, I didn’t have the highest of hopes. Yet, it truly got worse and truly hurt me to read. If any of these things sound like they could be potentially harmful to you, I suggest you use caution. And again, I just want to say that this is ONE aroace experience, not the only. You and your journey are valid.
Trigger and Content Warnings: experimenting with someone without them knowing, talk of an abusive relationship in the past, and acephobia.
Additionally, my friends (who I buddy read this with, what an experience we had, whew lads!) wrote actual in-depth reviews about their feelings and experiences with Loveless that I really also recommend you check out: Maëlys & Lea
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Buddy read with Maëlys & Lea! (AKA: the Jason defense squad) ❤
❤ I read this for A-spec August!
June 21, 2021
4.5 stars.
This is my first ace/aro book, so, it feels refreshing have a little bit of representation, even if it's not entirely like that (I felt it that way, tho, this is my case) for me. The review is from my POV on this, my feelings and reactions, ok? ok, thanks.
Btw, if there's something that can be misunderstood, let me know and I'll change it.
Georgia Warr has never been in love or kissed, and she's just 18. But she thinks she'll find a person some day. This is fine, actually, many people haven't had their first kiss in their teen years, and that's totally ok!
Look at me, the next month I'll turn 23 and I've never kissed anyone. I used to think that THAT fact it was going to be the end of the world, since my friends were having romances at 15/16 y/o, having their first romantic relationship and their first kisses, and even sex. I had a lot of crushes at that age with many people, but I never thought it was important to have a relationship with someone. And that little fact was something to my ex classmates joke about like for 3/4 years. So, you can imagine how bad I felt for it.
That bullying from my ex classmates generated on me a lot of insecurities, because they made me feel like I was a weirdo or a loser for not having kissed anyone by that time. I really believed that there was something wrong with me. At that age, we believe a lot of things that others tell us, so, I was naive and stupid for think that all of those things were true.
In high school, had crushes too, but I never had a relationship because people only think in one thing (in my country, sadly is like that): sex. Back in my old school, I had a traumatic event that made me make sure about my sexuality, even if by that age I didn't know anything about it. So, in high school, I just had crushes, but didn't know what was that lack of sex desire toward the others. I never told this to anyone, because my ex "friends" really let me down making me believe that, indeed, I was a weirdo for not having pair or my first kiss yet.
In the university, things changed. I made one year in History and I met the most beautiful and amazing girl on my French class. She's bi and her mind is so open and she's smart. I fell for her, we talked but I never confessed to her my feelings (yes, I'm a coward and I hate me for this). When I changed to my actual career, literature, I met one of my best friends. She's pan and once, while we talked with my other friends, she asked us who we fancied, I said: "no one", with fear believing that I was gonna be rejected or they were gonna laugh of me. My friend smiled at me and said "oh, you're asexual".
I've heard that term before, but I didn't know what it meant, so I asked her if she could please explain me. She explained me a lot about the ace spectrums and I cried in front of my friends for two reasons: 1) they weren't judging me for haven't had a pair or my first kiss yet, and 2) because I finally had a name for my sexuality and I didn't feel entirely alone. My friends were and are very supportive with me and they mean the world to me. So, yes, I agree with that: friends mean a lot, even more when they're the correct ones.
I've had a hard time accepting myself, I've struggled for years with myself, who I am and it's been a long process. I haven't come out to my family for many reasons, but mainly because they're very mind-closed and that scares me. I told my bestfriend (ex bestfriend by now) that I'm ace. And he laughed at me, when I explained him what it was asexuality, he said that it's an excuse for not having sex or pair before (he was in love with me and I rejected him like 6 years ago, lmao). That of course that made me feel like shit. But I realized that there's NOTHING wrong with me, that people will not always understand and that's ok, but I'm getting away from them.
For years, I struggled so bad trying to accept me, to love me, because I had dark years when I hated me so much. I was in a dark place for so long, but when I finally accepted me for who I am, I naturally cried like a baby, but I felt proud of myself. It's a big fucking step, but I'm no longer afraid of me. Yes, I'm still afraid of some people the whole time, but this is me trying. (please, get the taylor reference)
This book having one of its main plots in friends touched me so bad. I wish I had those friends when I was 15 to 19 years, to encourage me, to support me and tell me that things were gonna be ok. I had found those friends now, and I look back to my old me and I don't feel pity or sadness anymore. Of course, I keep crying because I feel like I've waisted my life, or like future is uncertain and it scares me as fuck. But I'm proud of me, and no one can make me feel like I'm not worth it or like I'm weird.
I still wanna fall in love, have a romantic relationship and feel those things, u know? Even if I feel like I won't gonna find someone who accepts me for who I am, and that shit is scaring.
So, yes, I enjoyed this book, even if I wanted to kick Georgia so bad for many things and cry for others.
Maybe nobody has told you this today, or you needed to read it/hear it, but:
You are loved, you are valid, you are so fucking perfect the way you are. Never doubt about it. If you are struggling with so many things, take a break and breathe, take a deep breathe, cry, jump, laugh, do whatever you want, but you know what? You are gonna be ok. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but you will, and when you look back, you will feel proud of yourself and you'll smile so bright like the sun.
It's a bad moment, not a bad life. And yes, please, never forget this.
And just like Bruno Mars said: 'cause, hey, you're amazing, just the way you are. :)
Also, Pip's mom is my heroine. She lived in Colombia and Manuel in London, and when Manuel went to visit his grandma, they met and fell in love. And they moved to LonDON. OH MY FUCKING GOD, I NEED THAT, PLEASE, TAKE ME OUT OF THIS COUNTRY, I'M SOBBING.
There was something that it seemed a little bit out of line there. Not all aces are sex-repulsed. Idk if I'm the only one who understood that. But there are other aces who are not sex-repulsed. It's not wrong tho, it just gave me that impression.
Also, a mention for tmm gang, they're the best people i've ever met, i love them with my life and i'm very thankful for calling them my friends. :') guys, if you see this, you know who are you, demons and angels <3
previous review
my heart is some sort of broken and fixed at the same. i guess i needed something like this :')
RTC
i jUST READ ACE AND I'M HERE ALL THE WAY TO READ IT AND CRY
“Give your friendships the magic you would give a romance. Because they're just as important. Actually, for us, they're way more important.”
This is my first ace/aro book, so, it feels refreshing have a little bit of representation, even if it's not entirely like that (I felt it that way, tho, this is my case) for me. The review is from my POV on this, my feelings and reactions, ok? ok, thanks.
Btw, if there's something that can be misunderstood, let me know and I'll change it.
Georgia Warr has never been in love or kissed, and she's just 18. But she thinks she'll find a person some day. This is fine, actually, many people haven't had their first kiss in their teen years, and that's totally ok!
Look at me, the next month I'll turn 23 and I've never kissed anyone. I used to think that THAT fact it was going to be the end of the world, since my friends were having romances at 15/16 y/o, having their first romantic relationship and their first kisses, and even sex. I had a lot of crushes at that age with many people, but I never thought it was important to have a relationship with someone. And that little fact was something to my ex classmates joke about like for 3/4 years. So, you can imagine how bad I felt for it.
That bullying from my ex classmates generated on me a lot of insecurities, because they made me feel like I was a weirdo or a loser for not having kissed anyone by that time. I really believed that there was something wrong with me. At that age, we believe a lot of things that others tell us, so, I was naive and stupid for think that all of those things were true.
In high school, had crushes too, but I never had a relationship because people only think in one thing (in my country, sadly is like that): sex. Back in my old school, I had a traumatic event that made me make sure about my sexuality, even if by that age I didn't know anything about it. So, in high school, I just had crushes, but didn't know what was that lack of sex desire toward the others. I never told this to anyone, because my ex "friends" really let me down making me believe that, indeed, I was a weirdo for not having pair or my first kiss yet.
In the university, things changed. I made one year in History and I met the most beautiful and amazing girl on my French class. She's bi and her mind is so open and she's smart. I fell for her, we talked but I never confessed to her my feelings (yes, I'm a coward and I hate me for this). When I changed to my actual career, literature, I met one of my best friends. She's pan and once, while we talked with my other friends, she asked us who we fancied, I said: "no one", with fear believing that I was gonna be rejected or they were gonna laugh of me. My friend smiled at me and said "oh, you're asexual".
I've heard that term before, but I didn't know what it meant, so I asked her if she could please explain me. She explained me a lot about the ace spectrums and I cried in front of my friends for two reasons: 1) they weren't judging me for haven't had a pair or my first kiss yet, and 2) because I finally had a name for my sexuality and I didn't feel entirely alone. My friends were and are very supportive with me and they mean the world to me. So, yes, I agree with that: friends mean a lot, even more when they're the correct ones.
I've had a hard time accepting myself, I've struggled for years with myself, who I am and it's been a long process. I haven't come out to my family for many reasons, but mainly because they're very mind-closed and that scares me. I told my bestfriend (ex bestfriend by now) that I'm ace. And he laughed at me, when I explained him what it was asexuality, he said that it's an excuse for not having sex or pair before (he was in love with me and I rejected him like 6 years ago, lmao). That of course that made me feel like shit. But I realized that there's NOTHING wrong with me, that people will not always understand and that's ok, but I'm getting away from them.
For years, I struggled so bad trying to accept me, to love me, because I had dark years when I hated me so much. I was in a dark place for so long, but when I finally accepted me for who I am, I naturally cried like a baby, but I felt proud of myself. It's a big fucking step, but I'm no longer afraid of me. Yes, I'm still afraid of some people the whole time, but this is me trying. (please, get the taylor reference)
This book having one of its main plots in friends touched me so bad. I wish I had those friends when I was 15 to 19 years, to encourage me, to support me and tell me that things were gonna be ok. I had found those friends now, and I look back to my old me and I don't feel pity or sadness anymore. Of course, I keep crying because I feel like I've waisted my life, or like future is uncertain and it scares me as fuck. But I'm proud of me, and no one can make me feel like I'm not worth it or like I'm weird.
"My future still terrified me. But everything seemed a little brighter when my best friends were around."
I still wanna fall in love, have a romantic relationship and feel those things, u know? Even if I feel like I won't gonna find someone who accepts me for who I am, and that shit is scaring.
So, yes, I enjoyed this book, even if I wanted to kick Georgia so bad for many things and cry for others.
Maybe nobody has told you this today, or you needed to read it/hear it, but:
You are loved, you are valid, you are so fucking perfect the way you are. Never doubt about it. If you are struggling with so many things, take a break and breathe, take a deep breathe, cry, jump, laugh, do whatever you want, but you know what? You are gonna be ok. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but you will, and when you look back, you will feel proud of yourself and you'll smile so bright like the sun.
It's a bad moment, not a bad life. And yes, please, never forget this.
And just like Bruno Mars said: 'cause, hey, you're amazing, just the way you are. :)
Also, Pip's mom is my heroine. She lived in Colombia and Manuel in London, and when Manuel went to visit his grandma, they met and fell in love. And they moved to LonDON. OH MY FUCKING GOD, I NEED THAT, PLEASE, TAKE ME OUT OF THIS COUNTRY, I'M SOBBING.
"The I am loveless mood has just gone."
"Neither of us were alone in this."
There was something that it seemed a little bit out of line there. Not all aces are sex-repulsed. Idk if I'm the only one who understood that. But there are other aces who are not sex-repulsed. It's not wrong tho, it just gave me that impression.
Also, a mention for tmm gang, they're the best people i've ever met, i love them with my life and i'm very thankful for calling them my friends. :') guys, if you see this, you know who are you, demons and angels <3
previous review
my heart is some sort of broken and fixed at the same. i guess i needed something like this :')
RTC
i jUST READ ACE AND I'M HERE ALL THE WAY TO READ IT AND CRY
September 11, 2020
Fuck, this book broke me. One of the most relatable books I've ever read, easily a new all time favorite ever. Alice Osman is incredible.
I can't explain with words what this book means to me so instead I'll link you to the vlog where I cried my eyes out over this book: https://youtu.be/9Xyva5SK7IM
I can't explain with words what this book means to me so instead I'll link you to the vlog where I cried my eyes out over this book: https://youtu.be/9Xyva5SK7IM
August 7, 2020
Before I go into any of this review, let me say that I am very aware that this book has made so many people feel incredibly seen, for many for the first time, and I am so very happy about that. But I want to share my personal experience and perspective as honestly as possible and I do not like to hold back when I think something is genuinely doing more harm than good. I not only found many things portrayed in it not well represented whatsoever but this book was really hurtful to me personally in the way that it portrayed one experience as THE aromantic asexual experience. And I hope that this community can respect my opinion without me disclosing my own orientation.
Also this will have mild spoilers, so I can actually go into detail.
Loveless tried to do a lot of good but ended up just being harmful, hurtful and offensive, invalidating literally everyone that doesn't have the exact same experience as the main character.
This is one of those books that shows that ownvoices does not necessarily mean a book can do no harm or has perfect representation. This book would've immensely benefited from having sensitivity readers for the other identities portrayed AND for the aroace representation too, especially as aromantic and asexual is such a huge spectrum.
I think that a lot of the questionable things in this book could've been avoided by having gone through a sensitivity read by someone who, for example, is asexual but not sex-repulsed.
And by that I do not mean that this book needed to be relatable to everybody on the aroace spectrum but the least it could've done is make more of an effort to explain the differences and not invalidate everybody who is anywhere else on the spectrum. This identity gets explained literally once and when the main character, Georgia, actually does some research herself, she quickly logs off because she finds it too overwhelming. And while that is valid, is it just not enough for a book like this.
Georgia is clearly sex-repulsed but the word does not get used on-page ONCE and I just think that this is a problem. A sex-repulsed experience exists but it is not THE aroace experience, even tough this book sadly ends up portraying it like that.
And I get that this is a story focused on figuring your sexuality out but it really took 45% for us to get to that ONE explanation of what asexual and aromantic means. Basically no one had ever heard of this term before, except Georgia, who didn't know what it was, even though she clearly spends a lot of time on the internet (and NOT the straight corners of it). It quite frankly seemed very convenient but made all of this unbelievable.
And what would've been so wrong with the character understanding these words earlier in the story but still coming to terms with the fact that that is how she feels and identifies? Instead we have to go through this character bulldozing her way through literally everybody else's feelings, experiences and identities in order to figure this out.
But this book does not only have an aroace coming out story. It also has the storyline of Rooney, Georgia's roommate, who she becomes friends with very quickly, figuring out she is pansexual. And we get so little pansexual representation in books, that it's especially harmful when the little rep we do have perpetuates a harmful stereotype like it does in this case.
This character is portrayed as someone who seems very sex positive but throughout this book we find out that she basically only slept with people as a coping mechanism for her feelings and emotions that she doesn't want to deal with. And I am not saying that this experience can't be valid but, first of all, this book really needed this perspective of sex being something that many people do enjoy and can do without any commitment, and, again, all of this just perpetuated an already harmful stereotype without ever talking about it.
And with an identity that is so little represented, when you want to feature a full coming out story of a character (even if it is a side-character), you need to do a better job at explaining what pansexuality actually means, ESPECIALLY if you also constantly put pan and bi in the same bracket. We never once got an explanation of what pansexuality actually means or what the difference between bi and pan is. Quote: “She said she just doesn’t think she really has a gender preference and that felt like the right word for her!!!!” That is not enough if you feature a pansexual coming-out story so prominently.
And do not even get me started on when Georgia said "stop erasing my identity" in a conversation with Rooney about falling in love, when she could've brought up a very legit discussion on aromanticism or the difference between romantic and sexual attraction to her. Instead, she treats Rooney in the dismissive way she was so tired of being treated by everyone else.
I even would've found it completely valid to have this portrayed as an experience that is realizing "oh wait, this is not how everybody else feels?" instead of a "finding people you relate to"-experience, but the main character's thoughts towards everybody else were constantly shaming them. It is okay to be sex-repulsed but you can't place that on everyone else when sex is such a natural part of many people's lives and something that they enjoy.
You cannot yell at and shame your friend, who you know has a lot of sex and just shared personal things with you, like what gender she fantasizes having sex with while she masturbates. Quote: “‘This has to be a fucking joke,’ I blurted. Rooney paused. ‘What?’ I sat up, pushing the covers off my body. ‘Everyone has to be fucking JOKING.’ ‘What d’you–’ ‘People are really out there just … thinking about having sex all the time and they can’t even help it?’ I spluttered. ‘People have dreams about it because they want it that much? How the–I’m losing it. I thought all the movies were exaggerating, but you’re all really out there just craving genitals and embarrassment. This has to be some kind of huge joke.’”
Also I wonder how a book that focuses so heavily on sexuality, has a super prominent non-binary side character AND a character that comes out as pansexual, could still READ SO BINARY! No one ever ACTUALLY acknowledged the existence of there being more than two genders.
And the fact that Sunil, the one non-binary character, wears a pin that says "he/they" but never once gets addressed with they/them pronouns, not even by their BEST FRIEND, is on another level too. Why introduce them using they/them pronouns when you are not going to use it? Genuinely makes me wonder who edited this book too.
There is a lot to say on how the people of colour get treated in this book as well. Like for example the way that Sunil, who is Indian, is only there to do all kinds of (emotional) labour for the main character. Or how Goergia's best friend, Pip, who is Latinx, is portrayed like a stereotype. Or how terribly Georgia treats her throughout this entire book. Or how she says "I would choose to be gay" to her face after they just had a talk about how it hasn't been easy for Pip to be a Latina and lesbian.. seriously, I could go on and on and on. I would encourage you all to check out Maëlys's review because she will talk about this (and many other things too) in more detail.
And while the book definitely tried to put out the message that platonic love can be just as or even more valuable than romantic love, it just missed the mark. This is a message that I always find so important and absolutely love seeing portrayed in books but here it was almost like Georgia felt superior and like she was the only who could truly and fully love someone platonically because she would never develop romantic feelings or sexual attraction.
This book could've used this opportunity to talk about the existence of platonic relationships and how there are people who live as non-romantic couples.. instead it just ended in this weird triangle situation with Georgia, Rooney and Pip, introducing no boundaries whatsoever, and I cannot even get into the mess that all of that was.
And the fact that Rooney having been in a toxic relationship is getting used as an opportunity to say that platonic relationships are better than romantic relationships, is something I can't even begin to unpack either.
I could write many more paragraphs for many more hours on this book, for example about the time when Georgia just picks up her roommate's phone without her consent and the roommate is just like "okay no prob". Or when the lesbian character is the one who says "how do you know you won't find someone one day?", so Georgia gets to be the one to say "how would you feel if I said this towards you" and on and on and on.
I'm not saying characters can't be flawed or unlikeable or fuck up. But this book is one big fuck-up. From the way Georgia behaves and treats other people to the things that this book portrays and talks about in general. Considering all the things that this main character says and does and thinks throughout this book, there is just not enough repercussions for it. There is not enough people calling Georgia and her bulldozing behaviour out and it is not okay.
At the end of the day, despite knowing how many people saw themselves in this book and the main character's experience, I simply cannot recommend this book whatsoever. A book that shames and invalidates everybody else's experiences to further a main character's journey is just not a good book.
If you're looking for something else to read instead, I highly recommend Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman for a book with amazing aroace questioning rep without invalidating anybody else!
Buddy read with Melanie & Maëlys ♥
Instagram | Blog | Booktube Channel | Twitter
Also this will have mild spoilers, so I can actually go into detail.
Loveless tried to do a lot of good but ended up just being harmful, hurtful and offensive, invalidating literally everyone that doesn't have the exact same experience as the main character.
This is one of those books that shows that ownvoices does not necessarily mean a book can do no harm or has perfect representation. This book would've immensely benefited from having sensitivity readers for the other identities portrayed AND for the aroace representation too, especially as aromantic and asexual is such a huge spectrum.
I think that a lot of the questionable things in this book could've been avoided by having gone through a sensitivity read by someone who, for example, is asexual but not sex-repulsed.
And by that I do not mean that this book needed to be relatable to everybody on the aroace spectrum but the least it could've done is make more of an effort to explain the differences and not invalidate everybody who is anywhere else on the spectrum. This identity gets explained literally once and when the main character, Georgia, actually does some research herself, she quickly logs off because she finds it too overwhelming. And while that is valid, is it just not enough for a book like this.
Georgia is clearly sex-repulsed but the word does not get used on-page ONCE and I just think that this is a problem. A sex-repulsed experience exists but it is not THE aroace experience, even tough this book sadly ends up portraying it like that.
And I get that this is a story focused on figuring your sexuality out but it really took 45% for us to get to that ONE explanation of what asexual and aromantic means. Basically no one had ever heard of this term before, except Georgia, who didn't know what it was, even though she clearly spends a lot of time on the internet (and NOT the straight corners of it). It quite frankly seemed very convenient but made all of this unbelievable.
And what would've been so wrong with the character understanding these words earlier in the story but still coming to terms with the fact that that is how she feels and identifies? Instead we have to go through this character bulldozing her way through literally everybody else's feelings, experiences and identities in order to figure this out.
But this book does not only have an aroace coming out story. It also has the storyline of Rooney, Georgia's roommate, who she becomes friends with very quickly, figuring out she is pansexual. And we get so little pansexual representation in books, that it's especially harmful when the little rep we do have perpetuates a harmful stereotype like it does in this case.
This character is portrayed as someone who seems very sex positive but throughout this book we find out that she basically only slept with people as a coping mechanism for her feelings and emotions that she doesn't want to deal with. And I am not saying that this experience can't be valid but, first of all, this book really needed this perspective of sex being something that many people do enjoy and can do without any commitment, and, again, all of this just perpetuated an already harmful stereotype without ever talking about it.
And with an identity that is so little represented, when you want to feature a full coming out story of a character (even if it is a side-character), you need to do a better job at explaining what pansexuality actually means, ESPECIALLY if you also constantly put pan and bi in the same bracket. We never once got an explanation of what pansexuality actually means or what the difference between bi and pan is. Quote: “She said she just doesn’t think she really has a gender preference and that felt like the right word for her!!!!” That is not enough if you feature a pansexual coming-out story so prominently.
And do not even get me started on when Georgia said "stop erasing my identity" in a conversation with Rooney about falling in love, when she could've brought up a very legit discussion on aromanticism or the difference between romantic and sexual attraction to her. Instead, she treats Rooney in the dismissive way she was so tired of being treated by everyone else.
I even would've found it completely valid to have this portrayed as an experience that is realizing "oh wait, this is not how everybody else feels?" instead of a "finding people you relate to"-experience, but the main character's thoughts towards everybody else were constantly shaming them. It is okay to be sex-repulsed but you can't place that on everyone else when sex is such a natural part of many people's lives and something that they enjoy.
You cannot yell at and shame your friend, who you know has a lot of sex and just shared personal things with you, like what gender she fantasizes having sex with while she masturbates. Quote: “‘This has to be a fucking joke,’ I blurted. Rooney paused. ‘What?’ I sat up, pushing the covers off my body. ‘Everyone has to be fucking JOKING.’ ‘What d’you–’ ‘People are really out there just … thinking about having sex all the time and they can’t even help it?’ I spluttered. ‘People have dreams about it because they want it that much? How the–I’m losing it. I thought all the movies were exaggerating, but you’re all really out there just craving genitals and embarrassment. This has to be some kind of huge joke.’”
Also I wonder how a book that focuses so heavily on sexuality, has a super prominent non-binary side character AND a character that comes out as pansexual, could still READ SO BINARY! No one ever ACTUALLY acknowledged the existence of there being more than two genders.
And the fact that Sunil, the one non-binary character, wears a pin that says "he/they" but never once gets addressed with they/them pronouns, not even by their BEST FRIEND, is on another level too. Why introduce them using they/them pronouns when you are not going to use it? Genuinely makes me wonder who edited this book too.
There is a lot to say on how the people of colour get treated in this book as well. Like for example the way that Sunil, who is Indian, is only there to do all kinds of (emotional) labour for the main character. Or how Goergia's best friend, Pip, who is Latinx, is portrayed like a stereotype. Or how terribly Georgia treats her throughout this entire book. Or how she says "I would choose to be gay" to her face after they just had a talk about how it hasn't been easy for Pip to be a Latina and lesbian.. seriously, I could go on and on and on. I would encourage you all to check out Maëlys's review because she will talk about this (and many other things too) in more detail.
And while the book definitely tried to put out the message that platonic love can be just as or even more valuable than romantic love, it just missed the mark. This is a message that I always find so important and absolutely love seeing portrayed in books but here it was almost like Georgia felt superior and like she was the only who could truly and fully love someone platonically because she would never develop romantic feelings or sexual attraction.
This book could've used this opportunity to talk about the existence of platonic relationships and how there are people who live as non-romantic couples.. instead it just ended in this weird triangle situation with Georgia, Rooney and Pip, introducing no boundaries whatsoever, and I cannot even get into the mess that all of that was.
And the fact that Rooney having been in a toxic relationship is getting used as an opportunity to say that platonic relationships are better than romantic relationships, is something I can't even begin to unpack either.
I could write many more paragraphs for many more hours on this book, for example about the time when Georgia just picks up her roommate's phone without her consent and the roommate is just like "okay no prob". Or when the lesbian character is the one who says "how do you know you won't find someone one day?", so Georgia gets to be the one to say "how would you feel if I said this towards you" and on and on and on.
I'm not saying characters can't be flawed or unlikeable or fuck up. But this book is one big fuck-up. From the way Georgia behaves and treats other people to the things that this book portrays and talks about in general. Considering all the things that this main character says and does and thinks throughout this book, there is just not enough repercussions for it. There is not enough people calling Georgia and her bulldozing behaviour out and it is not okay.
At the end of the day, despite knowing how many people saw themselves in this book and the main character's experience, I simply cannot recommend this book whatsoever. A book that shames and invalidates everybody else's experiences to further a main character's journey is just not a good book.
If you're looking for something else to read instead, I highly recommend Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman for a book with amazing aroace questioning rep without invalidating anybody else!
Buddy read with Melanie & Maëlys ♥
Instagram | Blog | Booktube Channel | Twitter
December 22, 2020
☆ 1 / 5 ☆
You can find my full review here ☆
Let me say that this seems to be a very personal book to Alice Oseman and that it is obviously a very valid experience of being aroace and I won’t take that away from it. However, I despised the way it presented this character’s journey as THE aroace experience and as someone on the aroace spectrum, I felt very misrepresented and like my own experience was being invalidated. Not only do I think this can be harmful to others on the aroace spectrum and questioning folks who have different experiences, but this book also constantly diminishes and dismisses other identities. I’m truly happy to see people feeling fully represented by this main character and this book but it also makes me incredibly uncomfortable to see the disregard of other experiences, and the mistreatment of other lgbtqia identities and characters of colour be completely ignored.
If you are on the aroace spectrum and this totally represents you, you are valid. If you are on the aroace spectrum and do not relate to this experience at all, or only a little, you are valid. If you felt hurt in any shape or form by this book, you are so valid. The aroace spectrum is not a monolith, we exist with a plethora of experiences and feelings that many want to dismiss, and it is hurtful to see that being expressed in a book that is supposed to be a safe place, a comfort, something you thought you’d relate to.
It is frankly quite concerning to see the lack of nuance, tact and empathy every other experience and identity was treated with in this book and that very few seem to have a problem with that.
Youtube ☆ Twitter
Buddy read with Melanie and Lea ♡
You can find my full review here ☆
Let me say that this seems to be a very personal book to Alice Oseman and that it is obviously a very valid experience of being aroace and I won’t take that away from it. However, I despised the way it presented this character’s journey as THE aroace experience and as someone on the aroace spectrum, I felt very misrepresented and like my own experience was being invalidated. Not only do I think this can be harmful to others on the aroace spectrum and questioning folks who have different experiences, but this book also constantly diminishes and dismisses other identities. I’m truly happy to see people feeling fully represented by this main character and this book but it also makes me incredibly uncomfortable to see the disregard of other experiences, and the mistreatment of other lgbtqia identities and characters of colour be completely ignored.
If you are on the aroace spectrum and this totally represents you, you are valid. If you are on the aroace spectrum and do not relate to this experience at all, or only a little, you are valid. If you felt hurt in any shape or form by this book, you are so valid. The aroace spectrum is not a monolith, we exist with a plethora of experiences and feelings that many want to dismiss, and it is hurtful to see that being expressed in a book that is supposed to be a safe place, a comfort, something you thought you’d relate to.
It is frankly quite concerning to see the lack of nuance, tact and empathy every other experience and identity was treated with in this book and that very few seem to have a problem with that.
Youtube ☆ Twitter
Buddy read with Melanie and Lea ♡
June 4, 2022
Wspaniała młodzieżówka! Idealna na Pride month
Read
October 12, 2022my review for loveless is finally up! ✨it's a long one, so I will be linking to it on my blog rather than posting it on here. As a reader, I saw a lot of my own a-spec experience within the book, and that was amazing, but it also had (unintentional) content which let down other identities (including friends within those identities), and that is something which must be highlighted and discussed.
anyway, you can find my full review here
I do hope that loveless opens the gates for more a-spec books to be published, and they are able to learn from loveless's pros and cons to handle the intersection of topics and identities in a better way. And it is entirely possible to read loveless and relate to the heroine's experience, but also be cognizant of how and where it lets other identities down at the same time.
loveless is not the only book about the aromantic and asexual experience to exist, but it has been one of the most anticipated and publicised ones. If you are interested in reading others, I co-wrote an always-updating masterlist of a-spec books that's posted here: Beyond A Bookshelf A-Spec Masterlist. But may I suggest Summer Bird Blue, by Akemi Dawn Bowman, which is another YA contemporary with wonderful a-spec questioning rep, where I saw my own experience reflected so much.
Read for #AspecAugust 2020.
**
pre-review:
omh hello am I reading this right? Am I right in assuming this has an aro-ace heroine? Am I crying because the premise of this book sounds inherently familiar to my life experience? Yes, yes I am.
for people saying they've never read a book with an a-spec narrator before, whilst waiting for this one I would definitely recommend Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman! I personally connected to it a lot.
anyway, you can find my full review here
I do hope that loveless opens the gates for more a-spec books to be published, and they are able to learn from loveless's pros and cons to handle the intersection of topics and identities in a better way. And it is entirely possible to read loveless and relate to the heroine's experience, but also be cognizant of how and where it lets other identities down at the same time.
loveless is not the only book about the aromantic and asexual experience to exist, but it has been one of the most anticipated and publicised ones. If you are interested in reading others, I co-wrote an always-updating masterlist of a-spec books that's posted here: Beyond A Bookshelf A-Spec Masterlist. But may I suggest Summer Bird Blue, by Akemi Dawn Bowman, which is another YA contemporary with wonderful a-spec questioning rep, where I saw my own experience reflected so much.
Read for #AspecAugust 2020.
**
pre-review:
omh hello am I reading this right? Am I right in assuming this has an aro-ace heroine? Am I crying because the premise of this book sounds inherently familiar to my life experience? Yes, yes I am.
for people saying they've never read a book with an a-spec narrator before, whilst waiting for this one I would definitely recommend Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman! I personally connected to it a lot.
April 22, 2023
***do I need to buy a physical copy of this book?
***Cannot think of a reason not to
I ended up loving this book so much and I wasn't expecting to get so attached to the characters by the time I was just into 20 percent of the book.
Now they are literally my fictional family and I will protect them forever.
The story talks about exploring one's own sexuality and most importantly friendship and teamwork.
Through the characters, the author has done a remarkable job in explaining what asexuality and aromanticism mean and what they represent. I was laughing, crying and cringing (relatable moments, second hand embarassments you know) the whole time I was reading the book!
And who would have thought there would be a lot of Shakespeare stuff in this one?! Love that for all of us!
I loved all the characters, my favourites being Pip and Rooney. Damn, they're so cute and hilarious together!
This is such a wholesome read!
✨Dear author, I have started dreaming of a webcomic series on them. Can you please make it happen?
***Cannot think of a reason not to
I ended up loving this book so much and I wasn't expecting to get so attached to the characters by the time I was just into 20 percent of the book.
Now they are literally my fictional family and I will protect them forever.
The story talks about exploring one's own sexuality and most importantly friendship and teamwork.
Through the characters, the author has done a remarkable job in explaining what asexuality and aromanticism mean and what they represent. I was laughing, crying and cringing (relatable moments, second hand embarassments you know) the whole time I was reading the book!
And who would have thought there would be a lot of Shakespeare stuff in this one?! Love that for all of us!
I loved all the characters, my favourites being Pip and Rooney. Damn, they're so cute and hilarious together!
This is such a wholesome read!
✨Dear author, I have started dreaming of a webcomic series on them. Can you please make it happen?
August 25, 2023
holy shit
so like.......here's the thing. i don't have the words? i knew this book was going to make me feel things but.....damn. wow. okay.
i just cried for like thirty minutes because the end was so poignant.
this is the book i needed like ten years ago. seven years ago. five years ago. last week. it's something i've been eagerly waiting to read for months (years? i can't remember when alice started working on it) and i just knew it would be important to me because it's basically one of the first like...aroace coming out books ever. obviously i've read a handful of ace books (not enough sadly) but nothing quite like this. and every time i pick up an ace book i get this incredible giddy feeling - that feeling when you see yourself on a page, where you feel represented - but this time was just...different. oof.
recently in the past month or so i've been reflecting on a lot of personal stuff, trying to figure out what's going on with my sexuality because my original "diagnosis" of sorts from about five years ago felt...off. i've been toying with the idea that maybe i am more aromantic than i original thought. it's been...chaos. a massive challenge, frankly. and i still feel like the label could change, but i NEEDED this book right now. i needed it for this time in my life and i needed it back when i was first figuring out my sexuality. but i did not anticipate this book getting to me as much as it did.
if you're not ace, you won't know the struggle that is finding good ace rep. mainly because...there's almost none. and most of the time when i do read an ace book, i think i feel represented because anywhere on the ace spectrum is something i can relate to more than a straight book....however. the ace spectrum is wide and varied and i'm realizing now that some of the books that i read before that i thought represented me...didn't do so as much as i really hoped. they're great and i value them and obviously i will always love them, but none of them were like this.
this book made me cry because i felt so known.
this book made me realize that i am aromantic, even though i love romance.
this book made me realize that I AM IN LOVE GODDAMMIT! JUST NOT ROMANTICALLY!
this book made me see life and love in ways i never imagined.
which isn't to say it's perfect. i think the characters did somethings that i didn't totally love, but as a whole? holy cow. i feel changed. i wonder if this is what it felt like for gay teenage boys to watch love, simon. i wonder if this is what it felt like when straight people saw titanic for the first time. this is representation. mainly because alice didn't shy away from the specifics. it can be challenging to write about things like sexuality because a lot of times authors don't go deep enough. if you're writing YA it's challenging to write sex scenes or explore things like masturbation or whatever else is out there, and when you get to adult books it's usually just.......all sex or no sex, nothing in between. but this book, which i feel like is more new adult than young adult.....it hit all the points. it explicitly defined asexual and aromantic...multiple times. it explored what it's like to be sex-repulsed, to wish you weren't sex-repulsed, to question how repulsed you are if you do masturbate. it touched on typical aphobic reponses like "you'll find someone someday!" or "maybe if we find you the right therapist we can fix you" or even "yes it's weird to be 18 and not kiss anyone yet" - and then it called them out and showed how those responses are shit. and all that is amazing, i'm so thankful for that but i think the things that really got me were 1) it showed an ace person TRYING to fit into an allo box and finding that they truly did NOT belong there and 2) it showed that romance and no romance are not the only options.
for me something i've...struggled? with? over my life is that asexuality is flooded with moments where you say "okay but what if this IS just a phase, what if i COULD fall in love with someone if it was the right person, what if i DID try kissing a girl instead??" and so you start hypothesizing all these what if scenarios where you try desperately to fit into the box in anyway you can. and i never had the opportunity to, say, kiss a girl or go out on a serious date or fall for my best friend, but i always have been...curious. more in a "okay but maybe i CAN fix myself if i try this" way. which is exactly what georgia does. and i think what also got me is that i read so many books about explicit sexual encounters (even just kissing) and i can never tell how I would react in those situations because i haven't been in that situation and all those books are about ALLO PEOPLE. but getting to read about an ace person kissing for the first time and then watching her realize immediately "oh fuck i shouldn't have done this i am disgusted" .........it felt like i could try it out without the trauma of actually doing it. for which i am SO GRATEFUL. it also just made me feel like my feelings were valid? that if i did kiss someone and hate it (which i would), i wouldn't be alone in that. i felt like i got to explore my own sexuality through georgia's experiences and it honestly truly did make me realize that for a long time even though i've identified as ace, i've still been looking for cop-outs. to be more allo. to be more straight. to be less me.
but what truly shocked me, what left me crying on my bedroom floor, is the twist ending that i did not consider AT ALL. i mean, it's not super dramatic to a normal person probably, but to me??? i just...it changed my whole perspective on life. everything feels different. and that just....hit me. full force. at 1am. because the fuck of it all is that i did not realize this was an option? like, okay sure, i get that i have friends. yes. i adore them. they're all amazing. but. this felt.......different than that. and i think the combination of those two things really showed me that my friendships ARE romantic. not in the allonormative way, not just these people i do life with or whatever....my friendships are my partners. and i have SO MANY OF THEM! i just got hit with these waves of feeling like "okay sure maybe i won't have a wedding, maybe i won't get the grand gesture of a proposal or something like that, but i have SO MANY OTHER GRAND GESTURES!" like things that i have sort of taken for granted but what i realize now are so fucking romantic. and it's not even the grand gestures. it's like when my friends remember certain details about my life or when they listen to me at midnight raving about a song or when they read the books i recommend or when they give me playlists or ask about my book or tell me i'm going to be successful or check up on me when i'm in a bad mood or make sure i'm drinking enough water or or or or or the list goes on forever.
i never knew that friendship was a thing i could romanticize. (of course i'm realizing now that i've been romanticizing my friendships for as long as i can remember....) it didn't seem BIG enough which is complete crap, honestly and clearly i've been brainwashed by the straights to think that because friendships are the only thing that have kept me afloat for twenty five years...i guess i just feel like....even though a little more weight has been added to my shoulders because i think i do need to sit with my (recent) grief of realizing i'll probably never be in a romantic relationship......i also feel like some weight has been lifted because....i do have people to look after me. i don't think i realized how scared i was about growing old and going through life without a partner but like.....i have many partners. and i know that they're as committed to me as i am to them. and i'm also realizing i have to be better about pouring into those relationships 1) because i love those people but 2) if i don't have to leave room for a big romance in my future (save for a wedding, for example), then i can pour my energy and heart and emotion into the people i already have. i don't have to keep searching and hoping and looking because i already HAVE enough. i have some fucking amazing partners who love me as much as i love them even if they are kissing someone on the side.
alice remains one of my favorite writers (and biggest inspirations honestly) because even aside from her ace rep and the way she really explores gender and sexuality, she's also just a damn good writer. her characters are full of life, her contemporary world building is amazing, she's funny as HELL, and her books feel like home. like...if love actually wasn't christmas and it was a book...that's alice. (is this because she's british? probably but that's beside the point) i aspire to write books like her. on all levels. she always just writes exactly what i need to hear, and i'm so so SO grateful that publishing found her and took a chance on her and her stories. i can't believe it took me as long as it did to read her stuff, but i'm never letting her go. she's doing such incredible work, especially because i know how hard this book was for her to write. but it's seamless. effortless. breathtaking. i hope she knows how much she's done for people like me because it's just......i don't know where i'd be.
so like.......here's the thing. i don't have the words? i knew this book was going to make me feel things but.....damn. wow. okay.
i just cried for like thirty minutes because the end was so poignant.
this is the book i needed like ten years ago. seven years ago. five years ago. last week. it's something i've been eagerly waiting to read for months (years? i can't remember when alice started working on it) and i just knew it would be important to me because it's basically one of the first like...aroace coming out books ever. obviously i've read a handful of ace books (not enough sadly) but nothing quite like this. and every time i pick up an ace book i get this incredible giddy feeling - that feeling when you see yourself on a page, where you feel represented - but this time was just...different. oof.
recently in the past month or so i've been reflecting on a lot of personal stuff, trying to figure out what's going on with my sexuality because my original "diagnosis" of sorts from about five years ago felt...off. i've been toying with the idea that maybe i am more aromantic than i original thought. it's been...chaos. a massive challenge, frankly. and i still feel like the label could change, but i NEEDED this book right now. i needed it for this time in my life and i needed it back when i was first figuring out my sexuality. but i did not anticipate this book getting to me as much as it did.
if you're not ace, you won't know the struggle that is finding good ace rep. mainly because...there's almost none. and most of the time when i do read an ace book, i think i feel represented because anywhere on the ace spectrum is something i can relate to more than a straight book....however. the ace spectrum is wide and varied and i'm realizing now that some of the books that i read before that i thought represented me...didn't do so as much as i really hoped. they're great and i value them and obviously i will always love them, but none of them were like this.
this book made me cry because i felt so known.
this book made me realize that i am aromantic, even though i love romance.
this book made me realize that I AM IN LOVE GODDAMMIT! JUST NOT ROMANTICALLY!
this book made me see life and love in ways i never imagined.
which isn't to say it's perfect. i think the characters did somethings that i didn't totally love, but as a whole? holy cow. i feel changed. i wonder if this is what it felt like for gay teenage boys to watch love, simon. i wonder if this is what it felt like when straight people saw titanic for the first time. this is representation. mainly because alice didn't shy away from the specifics. it can be challenging to write about things like sexuality because a lot of times authors don't go deep enough. if you're writing YA it's challenging to write sex scenes or explore things like masturbation or whatever else is out there, and when you get to adult books it's usually just.......all sex or no sex, nothing in between. but this book, which i feel like is more new adult than young adult.....it hit all the points. it explicitly defined asexual and aromantic...multiple times. it explored what it's like to be sex-repulsed, to wish you weren't sex-repulsed, to question how repulsed you are if you do masturbate. it touched on typical aphobic reponses like "you'll find someone someday!" or "maybe if we find you the right therapist we can fix you" or even "yes it's weird to be 18 and not kiss anyone yet" - and then it called them out and showed how those responses are shit. and all that is amazing, i'm so thankful for that but i think the things that really got me were 1) it showed an ace person TRYING to fit into an allo box and finding that they truly did NOT belong there and 2) it showed that romance and no romance are not the only options.
for me something i've...struggled? with? over my life is that asexuality is flooded with moments where you say "okay but what if this IS just a phase, what if i COULD fall in love with someone if it was the right person, what if i DID try kissing a girl instead??" and so you start hypothesizing all these what if scenarios where you try desperately to fit into the box in anyway you can. and i never had the opportunity to, say, kiss a girl or go out on a serious date or fall for my best friend, but i always have been...curious. more in a "okay but maybe i CAN fix myself if i try this" way. which is exactly what georgia does. and i think what also got me is that i read so many books about explicit sexual encounters (even just kissing) and i can never tell how I would react in those situations because i haven't been in that situation and all those books are about ALLO PEOPLE. but getting to read about an ace person kissing for the first time and then watching her realize immediately "oh fuck i shouldn't have done this i am disgusted" .........it felt like i could try it out without the trauma of actually doing it. for which i am SO GRATEFUL. it also just made me feel like my feelings were valid? that if i did kiss someone and hate it (which i would), i wouldn't be alone in that. i felt like i got to explore my own sexuality through georgia's experiences and it honestly truly did make me realize that for a long time even though i've identified as ace, i've still been looking for cop-outs. to be more allo. to be more straight. to be less me.
but what truly shocked me, what left me crying on my bedroom floor, is the twist ending that i did not consider AT ALL. i mean, it's not super dramatic to a normal person probably, but to me??? i just...it changed my whole perspective on life. everything feels different. and that just....hit me. full force. at 1am. because the fuck of it all is that i did not realize this was an option? like, okay sure, i get that i have friends. yes. i adore them. they're all amazing. but. this felt.......different than that. and i think the combination of those two things really showed me that my friendships ARE romantic. not in the allonormative way, not just these people i do life with or whatever....my friendships are my partners. and i have SO MANY OF THEM! i just got hit with these waves of feeling like "okay sure maybe i won't have a wedding, maybe i won't get the grand gesture of a proposal or something like that, but i have SO MANY OTHER GRAND GESTURES!" like things that i have sort of taken for granted but what i realize now are so fucking romantic. and it's not even the grand gestures. it's like when my friends remember certain details about my life or when they listen to me at midnight raving about a song or when they read the books i recommend or when they give me playlists or ask about my book or tell me i'm going to be successful or check up on me when i'm in a bad mood or make sure i'm drinking enough water or or or or or the list goes on forever.
i never knew that friendship was a thing i could romanticize. (of course i'm realizing now that i've been romanticizing my friendships for as long as i can remember....) it didn't seem BIG enough which is complete crap, honestly and clearly i've been brainwashed by the straights to think that because friendships are the only thing that have kept me afloat for twenty five years...i guess i just feel like....even though a little more weight has been added to my shoulders because i think i do need to sit with my (recent) grief of realizing i'll probably never be in a romantic relationship......i also feel like some weight has been lifted because....i do have people to look after me. i don't think i realized how scared i was about growing old and going through life without a partner but like.....i have many partners. and i know that they're as committed to me as i am to them. and i'm also realizing i have to be better about pouring into those relationships 1) because i love those people but 2) if i don't have to leave room for a big romance in my future (save for a wedding, for example), then i can pour my energy and heart and emotion into the people i already have. i don't have to keep searching and hoping and looking because i already HAVE enough. i have some fucking amazing partners who love me as much as i love them even if they are kissing someone on the side.
alice remains one of my favorite writers (and biggest inspirations honestly) because even aside from her ace rep and the way she really explores gender and sexuality, she's also just a damn good writer. her characters are full of life, her contemporary world building is amazing, she's funny as HELL, and her books feel like home. like...if love actually wasn't christmas and it was a book...that's alice. (is this because she's british? probably but that's beside the point) i aspire to write books like her. on all levels. she always just writes exactly what i need to hear, and i'm so so SO grateful that publishing found her and took a chance on her and her stories. i can't believe it took me as long as it did to read her stuff, but i'm never letting her go. she's doing such incredible work, especially because i know how hard this book was for her to write. but it's seamless. effortless. breathtaking. i hope she knows how much she's done for people like me because it's just......i don't know where i'd be.
March 15, 2022
i didn't really vibe with this :(
premise: great
characters: -_-
writing: .........
you can watch our liveshow for the Late Night Book Club here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-R7r...
2 STARS
Twitter | Bookstagram | Youtube |
premise: great
characters: -_-
writing: .........
you can watch our liveshow for the Late Night Book Club here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-R7r...
2 STARS
Twitter | Bookstagram | Youtube |
July 11, 2020
I have never felt more seen by a book. Bless Alice Oseman for writing this, full of confusion, figuring things out and coming to terms with an asexual identity. It was such a comfort to see myself reflected and know that there's a happy, accepting future of love out there for me in friendships deeper than any romance~
EDIT: made a video review if you'd like to check it out~
EDIT: made a video review if you'd like to check it out~
October 24, 2021
Wish I could tell you how much this book means to me, how much hope it gave me.
I wrote a whole essay about it, but chickened out before I could post it. Sometimes I feel like I write reviews as if Goodreads was my therapist, even if I end up not sharing them. But good books make me want to write about my experiences.
All in all, I loved the book. I just wish she'd never experimented with Jason. He is a sweetheart and seeing him hurt broke my heart.
And hit home.
Being confused about romantic love and best friend love when you feel the friendsip so deeply - like they are the most important person in your life -, and have never felt romatic love before, is a whole another experience. Not a pleasant one.
I wrote a whole essay about it, but chickened out before I could post it. Sometimes I feel like I write reviews as if Goodreads was my therapist, even if I end up not sharing them. But good books make me want to write about my experiences.
All in all, I loved the book. I just wish she'd never experimented with Jason. He is a sweetheart and seeing him hurt broke my heart.
And hit home.
Being confused about romantic love and best friend love when you feel the friendsip so deeply - like they are the most important person in your life -, and have never felt romatic love before, is a whole another experience. Not a pleasant one.
September 8, 2020
I loved the aromantic and asexual representation in this novel. Alice Oseman does a fantastic job of showing our main character Georgia’s messy yet beautiful journey from frustration to confusion to self-acceptance regarding her aro ace identity. I liked reading about the multiple layers that complicated her path to self-love regarding her identities: the pressure the media and society in general exerts to force all of us into romantic and/or sexual relationships, the way some of Georgia’s friends tried to push her into romantic and/or physical relationships with people, and just the lack of representation surrounding aro and ace identities. Oseman highlights how as an amatonormative society we glorify romantic relationships above all other forms of relationships. I most enjoyed the privileging of friendship in this novel and how much the friendships mattered, even above the romantic relationships. In particular, one scene with Georgia and Rooney with flowers toward the end of the book filled me with lots of joy.
I will say that I felt like the book’s aro ace representation carried it for me. For most of the novel I leaned toward a three-star rating because the characters came across as kinda flimsy to me in terms of their characterization. For some reason I struggled to connect with the characters, perhaps because I felt that they lacked compelling backstories that made me want to invest in them more (Rooney later on in the novel is revealed to have some interesting backstory with an old friend named Beth, but that doesn’t receive much development.) The novel felt so grounded in the present moment, which isn’t necessarily bad, yet the combination of that focus on the here and now and Oseman’s sometimes obvious writing (e.g., using dialogue clearly for the purpose of explaining certain identities) made it difficult to fully feel entrenched in Loveless.
Would recommend for those searching for aro ace representation or want to learn more! Reading this novel even helped me realize that I am indeed not aromantic (which in some ways feels unfortunate to me because I’m attracted to men, though of course I recognize the unique stigmatization of aro people in society too). Curious to see what Oseman releases next and how her writing style will develop over time.
I will say that I felt like the book’s aro ace representation carried it for me. For most of the novel I leaned toward a three-star rating because the characters came across as kinda flimsy to me in terms of their characterization. For some reason I struggled to connect with the characters, perhaps because I felt that they lacked compelling backstories that made me want to invest in them more (Rooney later on in the novel is revealed to have some interesting backstory with an old friend named Beth, but that doesn’t receive much development.) The novel felt so grounded in the present moment, which isn’t necessarily bad, yet the combination of that focus on the here and now and Oseman’s sometimes obvious writing (e.g., using dialogue clearly for the purpose of explaining certain identities) made it difficult to fully feel entrenched in Loveless.
Would recommend for those searching for aro ace representation or want to learn more! Reading this novel even helped me realize that I am indeed not aromantic (which in some ways feels unfortunate to me because I’m attracted to men, though of course I recognize the unique stigmatization of aro people in society too). Curious to see what Oseman releases next and how her writing style will develop over time.
June 10, 2023
i’ve never felt more called out and seen
February 10, 2022
Georgia is about to start University and very excited as she thinks that she'd definitely find someone special for herself. Everyone around her has boyfriend or a girlfriend and she kind of feel left out while her friends and everyone else tells her that one day she'd find her someone special. So she was determined to find that someone in her college. This journey leads her on a path where she experiments, fights and almost lose her childhood friends, and discovers some real truths about herself (and come to terms with them).
The plot here is simple and predictable but the focus is on Georgia and her group of friends. And that's where this story shines for me. While Georgia took some time to find herself, I love her portrayal of this girl who tries to lose herself in societal parameters because that's what she's seen around her that is to find someone to spend rest of your life with. She is afraid but can't do what her heart doesn't permit her to do. Some help from friends and she accepts that she is aromantic and asexual.
It was a great read and something that I see myself recommending to my friends.
The plot here is simple and predictable but the focus is on Georgia and her group of friends. And that's where this story shines for me. While Georgia took some time to find herself, I love her portrayal of this girl who tries to lose herself in societal parameters because that's what she's seen around her that is to find someone to spend rest of your life with. She is afraid but can't do what her heart doesn't permit her to do. Some help from friends and she accepts that she is aromantic and asexual.
It was a great read and something that I see myself recommending to my friends.
August 19, 2020
I lovelessly loved it.
August 10, 2020
Okay, so originally I wasn't going to write a lengthy review on this (terrible) book but I literally cannot stop thinking about it and I need to get all my thoughts out of my head hahah. So here we go, be prepared for a few mild spoilers!
(For an own voices review I would highly suggest checking out Maëlys' review!!!!! Pls take the time to read it bc she makes some really great points on how harmful this book can be for some ppl and I agree with everything she said!!)
I never would've thought that I'd dislike a book by Alice Oseman this much. Wow. this was awful on so many levels. To start off, though, I want to say that I am not an own voices reviewer and I'm not going to get into the aro/ace representation itself. I'm glad many people could see some of themselves in these characters and in this story, but as a book this was utterly terrible.
Let's start with the characters, shall we?
Georgia is our main character and I hated her :-) She was actually insufferable and I find it ironic that this book is all about strong friendships when Georgia is such an incredibly awful friend. First off, she is constantly judging Rooney (her uni roommate) for enjoying casual sex and going out a lot which is problematic to begin with. Actually, she judges everyone for having sex and being in relationships. Sure, I can understand that she needs to convey this feeling of being different than what society expects of you, but going around and shaming people for their sex/relationship lives is more than unnecessary. What I had the biggest problem with, however, is the way in which she treated one of her best friends, Jason (mild spoiler coming at ya): she actively uses him to experiment with her own feelings and her sexuality even though she knows full well that he has feelings for her. BIG RED FLAG. But platonic friendships are so important, right???? ha ha. The irony.
She never even really apologizes for her actions, which is a recurring theme all throughout this novel. Georgia is basically the reason behind most of her friends' problems and she is never held accountable for it. She is such a horrible friend and they all love her for it, it seems. Not once does she suffer repercussions for the problems that she herself has caused throughout the whole book.
A particularly awful scene was, in my opinion, when Georgia was talking to her lesbian friend Pip (who I am going to talk about more later). Mild spoiler!!: Pip opened up about how difficult her life as a lesbian and a Latina was and that she never really had someone to relate to on both levels. And what does Georgia say to her friend's face? That she would love to be gay if she could. Wow. WOW. Georgia's problematic views and actions are never challenged throughout the whole novel, NOT ONCE, and it makes me fucking angry.
Secondly, we have Rooney. As I said, she is introduced as this outgoing party type and has lots of casual sex. Plus, she is pansexual. Her character arc could've been so interesting and could've contributed some nuance to the book, but Alice Oseman decided to butcher it completely (mild spoiler again): it turns out that the reason behind her having a lot of casual sex is that she was in an abusive relationship before and wants to "fill a hole" by having sex with people. Like???? seriously???
Pip is Georgia's other best friend from school and (I believe) the only woman of color in this book (pls correct me if I'm wrong). And, of course, she is portrayed as this stereotypical, loud, rude, and petty Latina. Wow, Alice. Great job. She was just as insufferable as Georgia in my opinion. The main conflict of the book (if you can call it that) revolved around Pip and this absolutely lazy and unnecessary miscommunication and I just could not take it. It's 2020 for God's sake, craft a conflict that actually makes sense instead of lazily utilizing miscommunication for some petty high school drama.
Speaking of which, the whole "plot" was absolutely lazy and unnecessary as well. I know this type of YA contemporary isn't really about the plot, but what we got in Loveless was actually ridiculous and extremely silly. The amount of times I had to roll my eyes🥴🥴
Let's talk about one last character now: Sunil. I believe he was asexual and biromantic as well as non-binary, if I remember correctly. This could've given another, more nuanced perspective on asexuality, but we never got one. Sunil basically functioned as the token PoC to educate our white MC. Wonderful :-)))))))) They were basically doing all of Georgia's emotional labour and there was no other reason for them to be in this story. By the way, they were wearing a pin with the pronouns "he/they" on it, and they were not once referred to as "they"???? This really rubbed me the wrong way.
Also,,, Georgia's random ass cousin that was brought into the mix?? What the hell was that??? I'll tell you what it was: another missed opportunity to bring some nuance into the aro/ace discussion in this book (the cousin was aro/ace as well).
I know that this is YA, but I didn't expect a book about university students to be this silly and juvenile. Like, come on. Don't hit me with 24982587 unnecessary pop culture references to seem quirky but instead focus on actually crafting a good novel and good story arcs with meaningful interactions between the characters. Loveless was none of that. None of the MC's (oftentimes harmful) views and opinions are challenged throughout the course of this novel and she apparently makes up for all her mistakes by dressing up as a Scooby Doo character without ever properly apologizing to the people she hurt. Big no.
As I said, this is not an own voices review so I won't judge the aro/ace representation in here. I know many of my GR friends have loved this book and what it represents. But I'm not going to give a lazily crafted, badly written book a good rating just for the rep. I feel like people tend to hype Alice Oseman up to a point where people don‘t even question what she writes anymore – she is not the all-knowing, perfect LGBTQIA+ YA author that the community makes her out to be, which this book made abundantly clear in my opinion. (This might be a problem with a lot of YA fiction and I'm just over it, we're gonna leave it at that for the moment though).
This whole book was so on-the-nose and there was no nuance to it at all. I saw another review here on goodreads that basically said "this wasn't much more fun or insightful than a google search on what asexuality & aromanticism is" and I couldn't agree more. This didn't even feel like a finished book to me but rather like a bland, one-sided dissertation on asexuality and what it is like to be aro/ace. Not to mention that the book very much felt like it was portraying Georgia's story as the *only* aro/ace experience, which I highly doubt it is. This is probably a very personal book for Alice and that's great for her, but as a novel this just doesn't work out. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
(For an own voices review I would highly suggest checking out Maëlys' review!!!!! Pls take the time to read it bc she makes some really great points on how harmful this book can be for some ppl and I agree with everything she said!!)
I never would've thought that I'd dislike a book by Alice Oseman this much. Wow. this was awful on so many levels. To start off, though, I want to say that I am not an own voices reviewer and I'm not going to get into the aro/ace representation itself. I'm glad many people could see some of themselves in these characters and in this story, but as a book this was utterly terrible.
Let's start with the characters, shall we?
Georgia is our main character and I hated her :-) She was actually insufferable and I find it ironic that this book is all about strong friendships when Georgia is such an incredibly awful friend. First off, she is constantly judging Rooney (her uni roommate) for enjoying casual sex and going out a lot which is problematic to begin with. Actually, she judges everyone for having sex and being in relationships. Sure, I can understand that she needs to convey this feeling of being different than what society expects of you, but going around and shaming people for their sex/relationship lives is more than unnecessary. What I had the biggest problem with, however, is the way in which she treated one of her best friends, Jason (mild spoiler coming at ya): she actively uses him to experiment with her own feelings and her sexuality even though she knows full well that he has feelings for her. BIG RED FLAG. But platonic friendships are so important, right???? ha ha. The irony.
She never even really apologizes for her actions, which is a recurring theme all throughout this novel. Georgia is basically the reason behind most of her friends' problems and she is never held accountable for it. She is such a horrible friend and they all love her for it, it seems. Not once does she suffer repercussions for the problems that she herself has caused throughout the whole book.
A particularly awful scene was, in my opinion, when Georgia was talking to her lesbian friend Pip (who I am going to talk about more later). Mild spoiler!!: Pip opened up about how difficult her life as a lesbian and a Latina was and that she never really had someone to relate to on both levels. And what does Georgia say to her friend's face? That she would love to be gay if she could. Wow. WOW. Georgia's problematic views and actions are never challenged throughout the whole novel, NOT ONCE, and it makes me fucking angry.
Secondly, we have Rooney. As I said, she is introduced as this outgoing party type and has lots of casual sex. Plus, she is pansexual. Her character arc could've been so interesting and could've contributed some nuance to the book, but Alice Oseman decided to butcher it completely (mild spoiler again): it turns out that the reason behind her having a lot of casual sex is that she was in an abusive relationship before and wants to "fill a hole" by having sex with people. Like???? seriously???
Pip is Georgia's other best friend from school and (I believe) the only woman of color in this book (pls correct me if I'm wrong). And, of course, she is portrayed as this stereotypical, loud, rude, and petty Latina. Wow, Alice. Great job. She was just as insufferable as Georgia in my opinion. The main conflict of the book (if you can call it that) revolved around Pip and this absolutely lazy and unnecessary miscommunication and I just could not take it. It's 2020 for God's sake, craft a conflict that actually makes sense instead of lazily utilizing miscommunication for some petty high school drama.
Speaking of which, the whole "plot" was absolutely lazy and unnecessary as well. I know this type of YA contemporary isn't really about the plot, but what we got in Loveless was actually ridiculous and extremely silly. The amount of times I had to roll my eyes🥴🥴
Let's talk about one last character now: Sunil. I believe he was asexual and biromantic as well as non-binary, if I remember correctly. This could've given another, more nuanced perspective on asexuality, but we never got one. Sunil basically functioned as the token PoC to educate our white MC. Wonderful :-)))))))) They were basically doing all of Georgia's emotional labour and there was no other reason for them to be in this story. By the way, they were wearing a pin with the pronouns "he/they" on it, and they were not once referred to as "they"???? This really rubbed me the wrong way.
Also,,, Georgia's random ass cousin that was brought into the mix?? What the hell was that??? I'll tell you what it was: another missed opportunity to bring some nuance into the aro/ace discussion in this book (the cousin was aro/ace as well).
I know that this is YA, but I didn't expect a book about university students to be this silly and juvenile. Like, come on. Don't hit me with 24982587 unnecessary pop culture references to seem quirky but instead focus on actually crafting a good novel and good story arcs with meaningful interactions between the characters. Loveless was none of that. None of the MC's (oftentimes harmful) views and opinions are challenged throughout the course of this novel and she apparently makes up for all her mistakes by dressing up as a Scooby Doo character without ever properly apologizing to the people she hurt. Big no.
As I said, this is not an own voices review so I won't judge the aro/ace representation in here. I know many of my GR friends have loved this book and what it represents. But I'm not going to give a lazily crafted, badly written book a good rating just for the rep. I feel like people tend to hype Alice Oseman up to a point where people don‘t even question what she writes anymore – she is not the all-knowing, perfect LGBTQIA+ YA author that the community makes her out to be, which this book made abundantly clear in my opinion. (This might be a problem with a lot of YA fiction and I'm just over it, we're gonna leave it at that for the moment though).
This whole book was so on-the-nose and there was no nuance to it at all. I saw another review here on goodreads that basically said "this wasn't much more fun or insightful than a google search on what asexuality & aromanticism is" and I couldn't agree more. This didn't even feel like a finished book to me but rather like a bland, one-sided dissertation on asexuality and what it is like to be aro/ace. Not to mention that the book very much felt like it was portraying Georgia's story as the *only* aro/ace experience, which I highly doubt it is. This is probably a very personal book for Alice and that's great for her, but as a novel this just doesn't work out. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
March 13, 2022
Buckle up, because this is going to be a long one. I dove into Loveless by Alice Oseman right when it came out, and I wanted to write an own voices review of this own voices aroace coming out novel!
Loveless was my single most anticipated release of 2020, so on release day, I sat myself down with the audiobook and dove right in. I was fully intending to read the entire book on release day, but it actually took me a few days to read it because I needed time to process.
I listened to the audiobook and read along in the ebook, which was such an immersive experience. The audio was great – the narrator captured the tone of voice of the novel very well.
I’ll delve into the aroace rep later, but I can also confirm this is a really fun story as well: they’re putting on a play of Shakespeare’s “greatest hits”! And I absolutely loved the characters:
- Georgia, of course, who’s my questioning aroace baby and who basically *is* 17-year-old me (she’s 18 though!)
- Pip, Colombian lesbian who feels cursed to fall for straight girls, funniest character, doesn’t like to be called Felipa
- Jason, the literal chillest dude ever, Token Straight, has two dads, Scooby-Doo stan, owns the cosiest teddy coat which is a recurring theme and a literal metaphor for how warm he is as a person
- Rooney, sex-positive pansexual extrovert who’s fast friends with just about anyone, but do they truly know her?
- Sunil, ultra-confident Indian gay asexual non-binary person and Georgia’s “college parent”, who fights all the gatekeepers and is always oversharing
I don’t know how she did it, but Alice Oseman seems to have reached into my brain and written a book about me. This book was almost too relatable for me, and it was at times a painful experience reading it. Starting out, this book deals a lot with internalized aphobia – feeling like there’s something wrong with you for not experiencing sexual or romantic attraction. The way this was done spoke to me so much, it was like seeing my own experiences as a teenager reflected back to me. This made it an incredibly healing experience right from the start.
The first couple of chapters discussed how Georgia feels like she should be kissing someone, and how she’s sure she will one day fall in love, it will just happen if she waits, because she just loves romance so much. This is EXACTLY how I felt as a teen; I had the same experience of never having had a crush and not really understanding why people were kissing each other, but being so sure it would happen for me eventually, something would click and I’d find The One.
Like Georgia, I was also this hopeless romantic who spent much of their time daydreaming about romance, often fictional. I still am. I actually read a comic by Alice Oseman before that captured this feeling so well – how at odds you can feel with yourself if you love romance but you know it will never happen for you. This comic was actually the reason I had such high hopes of this novel.
Of course there’s a lot of internalized aphobia here, and there’s nothing wrong with being aromantic, but it was just so amazing to see this journey represented. Because it can be painful to know you’ll never experience this thing you know brings so much happiness to people. And the thing is, I don’t want to. The thought of having someone romantically attracted to me makes me very uncomfortable. But sometimes it still hurts, because I love romance in theory, and our society is really built to make everyone want romance in their life – you get conditioned to want it for yourself from such a young age.
The story starts off with Georgia experiencing internalized aphobia and wanting to “fix herself” so she doesn’t end up alone. So she sets off on a mission to find romance. While I found her self-hatred sometimes hard to read as an aroace person, the reason for that was that it was just extremely relatable and it forced me to address this within myself. And honestly, Georgia’s mission to find romance is also quite comedic, just like the moments where she’s starting to figure out her identity. For instance, she finds herself googling “am I gay”, which is probably relatable for many LGBTQ+ people who have questioned their identity.
Georgia’s actual questioning arc kicks off when she has a discussion with Sunil where they explain what asexuality is and what it means for them to be ace. And throughout the story, Georgia researches asexuality and aromanticism, and talks to several people about it, and this helps grow more certain and more comfortable in her identity.
This book has been hyped for a long time for being an aroace coming out story, and to me, it did an amazing job and it made me feel very seen. Initially, the plot felt secondary to the rep for me, because the representation was so important to me.
But the story really drew me in as well. I think this is Alice Oseman’s best book so far in terms of technical stuff like plotting and characterization. All the important characters were fully fleshed out, and there was a steady, well-plotted storyline that sort of followed the “recipe” of a romcom but with best friends instead of a love interest.
Loveless was my single most anticipated release of 2020, so on release day, I sat myself down with the audiobook and dove right in. I was fully intending to read the entire book on release day, but it actually took me a few days to read it because I needed time to process.
I listened to the audiobook and read along in the ebook, which was such an immersive experience. The audio was great – the narrator captured the tone of voice of the novel very well.
I’ll delve into the aroace rep later, but I can also confirm this is a really fun story as well: they’re putting on a play of Shakespeare’s “greatest hits”! And I absolutely loved the characters:
- Georgia, of course, who’s my questioning aroace baby and who basically *is* 17-year-old me (she’s 18 though!)
- Pip, Colombian lesbian who feels cursed to fall for straight girls, funniest character, doesn’t like to be called Felipa
- Jason, the literal chillest dude ever, Token Straight, has two dads, Scooby-Doo stan, owns the cosiest teddy coat which is a recurring theme and a literal metaphor for how warm he is as a person
- Rooney, sex-positive pansexual extrovert who’s fast friends with just about anyone, but do they truly know her?
- Sunil, ultra-confident Indian gay asexual non-binary person and Georgia’s “college parent”, who fights all the gatekeepers and is always oversharing
I don’t know how she did it, but Alice Oseman seems to have reached into my brain and written a book about me. This book was almost too relatable for me, and it was at times a painful experience reading it. Starting out, this book deals a lot with internalized aphobia – feeling like there’s something wrong with you for not experiencing sexual or romantic attraction. The way this was done spoke to me so much, it was like seeing my own experiences as a teenager reflected back to me. This made it an incredibly healing experience right from the start.
The first couple of chapters discussed how Georgia feels like she should be kissing someone, and how she’s sure she will one day fall in love, it will just happen if she waits, because she just loves romance so much. This is EXACTLY how I felt as a teen; I had the same experience of never having had a crush and not really understanding why people were kissing each other, but being so sure it would happen for me eventually, something would click and I’d find The One.
Like Georgia, I was also this hopeless romantic who spent much of their time daydreaming about romance, often fictional. I still am. I actually read a comic by Alice Oseman before that captured this feeling so well – how at odds you can feel with yourself if you love romance but you know it will never happen for you. This comic was actually the reason I had such high hopes of this novel.
Of course there’s a lot of internalized aphobia here, and there’s nothing wrong with being aromantic, but it was just so amazing to see this journey represented. Because it can be painful to know you’ll never experience this thing you know brings so much happiness to people. And the thing is, I don’t want to. The thought of having someone romantically attracted to me makes me very uncomfortable. But sometimes it still hurts, because I love romance in theory, and our society is really built to make everyone want romance in their life – you get conditioned to want it for yourself from such a young age.
The story starts off with Georgia experiencing internalized aphobia and wanting to “fix herself” so she doesn’t end up alone. So she sets off on a mission to find romance. While I found her self-hatred sometimes hard to read as an aroace person, the reason for that was that it was just extremely relatable and it forced me to address this within myself. And honestly, Georgia’s mission to find romance is also quite comedic, just like the moments where she’s starting to figure out her identity. For instance, she finds herself googling “am I gay”, which is probably relatable for many LGBTQ+ people who have questioned their identity.
Georgia’s actual questioning arc kicks off when she has a discussion with Sunil where they explain what asexuality is and what it means for them to be ace. And throughout the story, Georgia researches asexuality and aromanticism, and talks to several people about it, and this helps grow more certain and more comfortable in her identity.
This book has been hyped for a long time for being an aroace coming out story, and to me, it did an amazing job and it made me feel very seen. Initially, the plot felt secondary to the rep for me, because the representation was so important to me.
But the story really drew me in as well. I think this is Alice Oseman’s best book so far in terms of technical stuff like plotting and characterization. All the important characters were fully fleshed out, and there was a steady, well-plotted storyline that sort of followed the “recipe” of a romcom but with best friends instead of a love interest.
December 3, 2020
3.5 star. Slow start but I ended up getting into it toward the middle/end. RTC
September 12, 2022
LO AME! Me sentí tan identificada y bien leyendo esto, siento que Alice lo escribió muy bien, y lo voy a defender siempre.
¡QUE JOYA DE LIBRO! Es una historia que creo que debería ser obligatoria en las escuelas, le aprendes un montón pero no esta escrita con esa intención. Conocemos a una chica que va a entrar a la universidad, siempre ha sido amante de los romances y quiere vivir uno ahora que empieza esta etapa, pero va a ir descubriendo que esos romances no son lo suyo. Descubre la existencia de el término asexual y arromanticx, también se descubre a ella misma, que es lo más importante. Amé la historia, no se imaginan cuanto, me gusta mucho la forma en la que nos enseña sobre nosotros mismos, sobre la asexualidad y el romance. Me pareció tan bien escrito que empecé a cuestionarme sobre mi y empecé a recomendar la historia a lo loco. Nos habla de la importancia de la amistad, que es algo que aprecie muchísimo ya que no había leído cosas parecidas, nunca había apreciado el valor de las personas en tu vida tanto como en este libro. Mucha gente dice que es un libro inmaduro, yo considero que es un libro de una chica viviendo experiencias nuevas, como su primer beso, obvio le va a impactar; Ella misma explica que sus amigos son todo lo que tiene, obvio los va a extrañar si se pelean, no hay edad especifica o tardía para vivir ciertas cosas. La verdad lo recomiendo un montón, es una lectura ligera pero con un montón de valor, leanla ya porfavor.
¡QUE JOYA DE LIBRO! Es una historia que creo que debería ser obligatoria en las escuelas, le aprendes un montón pero no esta escrita con esa intención. Conocemos a una chica que va a entrar a la universidad, siempre ha sido amante de los romances y quiere vivir uno ahora que empieza esta etapa, pero va a ir descubriendo que esos romances no son lo suyo. Descubre la existencia de el término asexual y arromanticx, también se descubre a ella misma, que es lo más importante. Amé la historia, no se imaginan cuanto, me gusta mucho la forma en la que nos enseña sobre nosotros mismos, sobre la asexualidad y el romance. Me pareció tan bien escrito que empecé a cuestionarme sobre mi y empecé a recomendar la historia a lo loco. Nos habla de la importancia de la amistad, que es algo que aprecie muchísimo ya que no había leído cosas parecidas, nunca había apreciado el valor de las personas en tu vida tanto como en este libro. Mucha gente dice que es un libro inmaduro, yo considero que es un libro de una chica viviendo experiencias nuevas, como su primer beso, obvio le va a impactar; Ella misma explica que sus amigos son todo lo que tiene, obvio los va a extrañar si se pelean, no hay edad especifica o tardía para vivir ciertas cosas. La verdad lo recomiendo un montón, es una lectura ligera pero con un montón de valor, leanla ya porfavor.
May 10, 2022
April 2022
🎥 Reading Vlog: https://youtu.be/6CMYVaY8yJQ
Alice Oseman came for my throat but misjudged and got my heart instead.
This book means more to me then I can express.
November 2020:
🎥 Review: https://youtu.be/ZPmuacWch5A
💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤
I've been trying to formulate coherent thoughts and then put them into words but I'm shell shocked.
Watch my review if you want to know more about my experience reading this book.
In short, this book changed my life. It felt like reading the diary I forgot I was keeping.
This is what it feels like to be *seen* for the first time. Being represented so clearly, so in-depth and as a MAIN CHARACTER!? I'm still reeling.
Reading about someone going through the exact same thoughts, worries and confusions as I did was ground breaking to me. I can't thank Alice Oseman enough. I will never forget this book.
😭 Quote that broke my heart: "I hadn't realized how BEHIND I was. I'd spent so much time thinking that my true love would just show up one day. I had been wrong. I had been so, so wrong. Everyone else was growing up, kissing, having sex, falling in love, and I was just...
I was a child.
And if I carried on this way...would I be alone forever?"
🤯 Quote that changed my life: "Having a partner is what some people want. For others, it's not. It took me a long, long time to figure out that that's not what I want. In fact...It took me a long time to realize that it's not even something I CAN want. It's not a choice for me. It's a part of me I can't change."
🎥 Reading Vlog: https://youtu.be/6CMYVaY8yJQ
Alice Oseman came for my throat but misjudged and got my heart instead.
This book means more to me then I can express.
November 2020:
🎥 Review: https://youtu.be/ZPmuacWch5A
💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤
I've been trying to formulate coherent thoughts and then put them into words but I'm shell shocked.
Watch my review if you want to know more about my experience reading this book.
In short, this book changed my life. It felt like reading the diary I forgot I was keeping.
This is what it feels like to be *seen* for the first time. Being represented so clearly, so in-depth and as a MAIN CHARACTER!? I'm still reeling.
Reading about someone going through the exact same thoughts, worries and confusions as I did was ground breaking to me. I can't thank Alice Oseman enough. I will never forget this book.
😭 Quote that broke my heart: "I hadn't realized how BEHIND I was. I'd spent so much time thinking that my true love would just show up one day. I had been wrong. I had been so, so wrong. Everyone else was growing up, kissing, having sex, falling in love, and I was just...
I was a child.
And if I carried on this way...would I be alone forever?"
🤯 Quote that changed my life: "Having a partner is what some people want. For others, it's not. It took me a long, long time to figure out that that's not what I want. In fact...It took me a long time to realize that it's not even something I CAN want. It's not a choice for me. It's a part of me I can't change."
April 13, 2023
Tellement touchant et accurate??? Genre je n’ai littéralement jamais lu de livre qui saisissait tant l’expérience de la jeunesse et c’est super intéressant, important et pertinent pour la représentation aroace. Je veux juste encore plus lire de alice oseman maintenant!!!!
Shelved as 'maybe'
January 13, 2019when ! was !! this !!! announced !!!!
May 20, 2023
I’m on BookTube now! =)
”Our troupe consisted of two star performers who both wanted to be in charge, one girl who threw up every time she acted, and one boy who might possibly be the love of my life.
It was going to be an absolute disaster, but that wasn’t stopping any of us.”
I guess, Georgia wasn’t all too wrong with this assumption but damn did all the drama and confusion make for a great book. If you’ve followed my reviews closely you’ll have noticed that this was actually the last full-length Alice Oseman book I haven’t read yet and I’m so glad I finally managed to pick this one up. It’s very rare to read about aro/ace reps in books because I think our heteronormative brains are just wired to read about attraction and romance and if a book doesn’t have that people tend to be sceptical. I’m not judging here, I’m merely stating the facts because I’ve read about a gazillion of reviews that mentioned that people didn’t like that there was almost none/no/little romance in book “X” and that’s why they didn’t enjoy it as much as other books. If you’re that single one person who has never ever read a review like that please raise your hand (or write me a comment) because I’d really love to know how you did that. *lol* Anyway! Back to my review!
”I knew what it was like to feel bad about not having kissed anyone.
And to feel pressured into doing it because everyone else was.
Because you were weird if you hadn’t.
Because this was what being a human was all about.
That was what everyone said.”
This book was so real and threw so many facts in my face; to read this was actually almost painful at times. And boy, could I relate to so many of the characters! Honestly, there were about a gazillion of quotes that made me think: “Oh gods, I’m so glad this is written in here because: Same!” I’m not aro/ace but I’m demi and that’s an identity which can be found under the aro/ace umbrella. So it probably shouldn’t have surprised me that I could relate to Georgia’s and her friends feelings, but for some reason it still did?! Truth be told, “Loveless” actually made me question myself once again, but I think that’s good. If a book makes you think that’s always a good thing and yes, I know this is a very personal review so far but for me reading is also a way to learn and to grow and that’s exactly what I did when I read “Loveless”. It’s never too late to learn new things about yourself. ;-)
”Almost seven years later, I’d never actually talked to Tommy. I’d never even really wanted to, probably because I was shy. He was more of an abstract concept – he was hot, and he was my crush, and nothing was going to happen between us, and I was perfectly fine with that.”
I mean! THIS!! That was basically me in my teens. I was what people would call a “late bloomer” and I had my first kiss when I was 16 and first real bf when I was 17. Yes, this was considered late in my youth because I had school friends that had their first kiss with 11 or 12. *lol* And I had some crushes but just like Georgia I was totally fine with them just being my crushes. I didn’t feel the need to be with them and never really wanted to end up with them if that makes sense? I only ever got together with boys/girls I knew for a very long time and had a close friendship with before we started dating and a lot of people thought that this was weird. XD I never understood why this felt weird for them and I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea of just having sex with someone for the fun of it without any deep feelings involved. Like how do people even have one-night stands? I could never. Love, mutual respect, trust, that’s what I need in a relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I was always good at innuendos, easy banter and flirting, I still am, but that doesn’t mean I have to actually go through with it with a stranger. It’s more about the intellectual challenge than about actually going through with it.
”People are really out there just … thinking about having sex all the time and they can’t even help it?” I spluttered. “People have dreams about it because they want it that much? How the – I’m losing it. I thought all the movies were exaggerating, but you’re all really out there just craving genitals and embarrassment. This has to be some kind of huge joke.”
Georgia’s struggle felt very real and even though I couldn’t relate to everything, I still understood where she was coming from when she said things like the quote above. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that everyone always thinks about having sex (but maybe that’s just my demi behind?!) but a lot of people do and the concept of being aro/ace would be as foreign to them as sexual attraction is to Georgia. For me it was really interesting to see love and romance the way Georgia experiences it and I loved that Rooney, her roommate, was so open-minded and didn’t judge her for any of her actions. They were complete opposites when it came to love but they still accepted each other the way they were and that was a truly beautiful thing.
Rooney paused. “I think it’s pretty amazing that you haven’t felt peer-pressured into doing anything by now. You haven’t made yourself do anything you didn’t want to do. You haven’t kissed anyone just because you’re scared of missing out. I think that’s one of the most mature things I’ve ever heard, actually.”
The strong friendships and the found family trope was in general something I enjoyed about this book and even though the story started slow at first it totally had me hooked by the halfway mark. I think that’s something typical for Alice Oseman’s books, at first they don’t seem to be magical or special but the longer you read, the more you get immersed into the world and by the end of the book it feels like you’ve won a couple of new and amazing friends. Am I the only one who feels like that or are there other people out there who experience Alice’s books the same way?
”They were all just themselves.
I don’t know how to explain it.
There was no pretending. No hiding. No faking.
In this little restaurant hidden away in the old streets of Durham, a bunch of queer people could all show up and just be.
I don’t think I’d understood what that was like until that moment.”
Another thing I always love about Oseman’s book is the diversity we get! I mean just in the small group of Georgia’s friends we have so much diversity bursting from the pages it was a real pleasure just to read about it. (Wordplay not intended. *lol*) Jason has two dads, Sunil is non-binary (he/they) and an asexual homoromantic, Pip is lesbian and Latinx and Rooney her roommate is questioning her sexuality in the book and figuring it out by the end. (Not gonna spoil anything! ;-P) I have no idea if Jason is part of the LGBTQIA+ community as well, but I got certain vibes from him so I guess the reader is allowed to question his sexuality. I just love that about Alice’s books and I’ll never get tired of seeing so much representation. Also can we just acknowledge the mood of the book, because damn that entire book is such a #mood and for me personally, Sunil was THE MOOD! *lol*
”Sunil had already volunteered to be Viola, saying, “Just give me all of the roles that mess around with gender, please.”
”I feel like I’m going to cry,” Sunil said, and then stuffed three more pieces of popcorn into his mouth.
I mean! THIS!!! I loved Sunil so damn much and he was my favourite character in the entire book. I could relate to his character and I lived and breathed for every little Sunil snippet I got. Sunil was the perfect mixture of serious and funny and wow, I loved that mouth he had on him. The way he put Lloyd in his place and cared about Pride Soc and all of its members! Definitely one of my new book love-interests. <333
”Is it stressful? Being the president?”
“Sometimes. But it’s worth it. Makes me feel that I’m doing something important. And that I’m part of something important.” He let out a breath. “I … I did things on my own for a long time. I know how it feels to be totally alone. So now I’m trying to make sure … no queer person has to feel like that in this city.”
Also I can’t thank Alice enough for showing that even members of the LGBTQIA+ community can discriminate and exclude other LGBTQIA+ identities. I wish I could say this isn’t a thing and that everyone is always inclusive, but being a part of the community I’ve seen it happen way too often and even experienced it myself. So Alice is brave for tackling this topic in her book and I’m very thankful she didn’t shy away from showing a realistic and sometimes hurtful part of our community. I really liked how this was addressed in the book and the speech Sunil gave Llyod will forever live in my head rent-free! Sunil got fire!! Loved that about him! <3 And when I’m already talking about Sunil there’s something I need to speak about too. Sunil is introduced as non-binary with he/they pronouns but Georgia only seems to use he/him pronouns whenever she thinks about Sunil. As someone who’s gender-fluid I couldn’t help but wonder if that was on purpose? I mean I know pronouns are tricky and it’s not easy to know which pronouns to use for someone who uses more than one, but usually people who use more than one tend to let people know which ones they are currently using? I dunno. I was just very confused about the fact that I can’t remember a single scene (and maybe that’s just my tired brain) in which Sunil was addressed with they/them pronouns. Just something to think about. ;-) (It’s why I always used he/him pronouns when I spoke about Sunil in this review too.)
”I was angry at the world for making me hate who I was. I was angry at myself for letting these feelings ruin my friendships with the best people in the world. I was angry at every single romance movie, every single fanfic, every single stupid OTP that had made me crave finding the perfect romance. It was because of all of that, no doubt, that this new identity felt like a loss, when in reality, it should have been a beautiful discovery.”
I felt this quote in my bones because I’m sure everyone who’s ever been or felt like a lonely teen can relate at least a little bit to the way Georgia felt. And I loved how Alice Oseman was able to convey all those expectations we grow up with. It’s not easy being a queer kid or adult because just by being yourself you already don’t fit into the heteronormative narration you’ve been raised with your entire life. It’s a way of thinking that’s so ingrained in us, it’s hard to overcome it.
I mean alone the way people think about my kid is interesting and could already be a social experiment. I don’t mention my kid very often when I’m online but when I do I just say “my kid” or “my child”. I almost never mention the gender. Yet that doesn’t stop people from making assumptions. Which is very interesting. When I mention that my kid is ill and that this is the reason I wasn’t online on IG I automatically get messages like: “Oh no, I hope your son is doing better now.” Or “I’m sending your daughter all the healthy vibes.” Why do we jump to conclusions so easily? Why do people automatically assume my kid is a boy or a girl? Just with this little social experiment, you can see that we’ve got a lot of work to do if we want to change people’s heteronormative perceptions for the better. And yes, my dear reader, when I spoke about my “kid” which kind of conclusion did your brain come to? Did you automatically think it’s a girl/boy? I’m very curious what you thought. ;-)
Anyway! You can already see Alice writing “Loveless” is a very thought-provoking impulse to think outside of the box. To question things, to think about why all of the fantasy books of my childhood had straight OTPs and why so many well-known fantasy authors still write only m/f relationships and queer bait us with side-characters that barely get any page time. It makes you wonder why almost every story has to end with an OTP, why friendships aren’t considered to be as important as relationships. Lovers come and go, but true friendships, they will stay with you until you’re old and wrinkled. Why is this considered less important in society than having a husband/wife and starting a family of your own? Who said we have to find that one true love and that this is the only thing that will give our life purpose, meaning and fulfilment? Who makes all those rules that cause us to almost break under the pressure and expectations of others when we’re different than the norm? Who even decides what the norm is? Who has the right to tell us what to do with our lives?
No one. We should all live our lives the way we want to and find happiness in whatever way feels good and right for us. Because we are the ones who live our lives and no one else can live our life for us. See, what I mean!? I love the way Alice’s book caused me to think so much!
This said I think “Loveless” is a masterpiece! It might not seem to be one when you start reading it, but the more you think about the story and the characters, the more you’ll find out about society and yourself. Georgia’s journey and the journey of her friends is important. The representation and diversity in the book is amazing and the way it makes you question things, well it’s perfect! Add to this a lot of confusion, a found family, strong friendships and lots of heartbreak and you have the perfect recipe for chaos! It’s a good kind of chaos, though! Promise! If you haven’t read “Loveless” yet, you definitely should give it a try! The world needs more books like this. ;-)
_________________________________
This started out slow but turned out so great and wholesome! <3
I could relate to so many things and I absolutely loved Sunil! Sunil is amazing!
I want more of Sunil in my life! *lol*
Full RTC soon! I’ve to think on this. This is probably going to be one of my more personal reviews.
__________________________________
I think I might have arrived at the last Alice Oseman book I haven’t read yet. (Aside of “This Winter” but as far as I know it’s a short story.) So yes, “Loveless” is the last actual book I haven’t read yet and I’m so curious about it because I haven’t seen a lot of aro/ace reps in books so far. =)
Leave it to Alice to give us all the representation we crave. XD
Anyway! This one has been on my TBR ever since it came out so I’m totally here for it!
I hope I’ll love it too! *fingers crossed*
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”Our troupe consisted of two star performers who both wanted to be in charge, one girl who threw up every time she acted, and one boy who might possibly be the love of my life.
It was going to be an absolute disaster, but that wasn’t stopping any of us.”
I guess, Georgia wasn’t all too wrong with this assumption but damn did all the drama and confusion make for a great book. If you’ve followed my reviews closely you’ll have noticed that this was actually the last full-length Alice Oseman book I haven’t read yet and I’m so glad I finally managed to pick this one up. It’s very rare to read about aro/ace reps in books because I think our heteronormative brains are just wired to read about attraction and romance and if a book doesn’t have that people tend to be sceptical. I’m not judging here, I’m merely stating the facts because I’ve read about a gazillion of reviews that mentioned that people didn’t like that there was almost none/no/little romance in book “X” and that’s why they didn’t enjoy it as much as other books. If you’re that single one person who has never ever read a review like that please raise your hand (or write me a comment) because I’d really love to know how you did that. *lol* Anyway! Back to my review!
”I knew what it was like to feel bad about not having kissed anyone.
And to feel pressured into doing it because everyone else was.
Because you were weird if you hadn’t.
Because this was what being a human was all about.
That was what everyone said.”
This book was so real and threw so many facts in my face; to read this was actually almost painful at times. And boy, could I relate to so many of the characters! Honestly, there were about a gazillion of quotes that made me think: “Oh gods, I’m so glad this is written in here because: Same!” I’m not aro/ace but I’m demi and that’s an identity which can be found under the aro/ace umbrella. So it probably shouldn’t have surprised me that I could relate to Georgia’s and her friends feelings, but for some reason it still did?! Truth be told, “Loveless” actually made me question myself once again, but I think that’s good. If a book makes you think that’s always a good thing and yes, I know this is a very personal review so far but for me reading is also a way to learn and to grow and that’s exactly what I did when I read “Loveless”. It’s never too late to learn new things about yourself. ;-)
”Almost seven years later, I’d never actually talked to Tommy. I’d never even really wanted to, probably because I was shy. He was more of an abstract concept – he was hot, and he was my crush, and nothing was going to happen between us, and I was perfectly fine with that.”
I mean! THIS!! That was basically me in my teens. I was what people would call a “late bloomer” and I had my first kiss when I was 16 and first real bf when I was 17. Yes, this was considered late in my youth because I had school friends that had their first kiss with 11 or 12. *lol* And I had some crushes but just like Georgia I was totally fine with them just being my crushes. I didn’t feel the need to be with them and never really wanted to end up with them if that makes sense? I only ever got together with boys/girls I knew for a very long time and had a close friendship with before we started dating and a lot of people thought that this was weird. XD I never understood why this felt weird for them and I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea of just having sex with someone for the fun of it without any deep feelings involved. Like how do people even have one-night stands? I could never. Love, mutual respect, trust, that’s what I need in a relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I was always good at innuendos, easy banter and flirting, I still am, but that doesn’t mean I have to actually go through with it with a stranger. It’s more about the intellectual challenge than about actually going through with it.
”People are really out there just … thinking about having sex all the time and they can’t even help it?” I spluttered. “People have dreams about it because they want it that much? How the – I’m losing it. I thought all the movies were exaggerating, but you’re all really out there just craving genitals and embarrassment. This has to be some kind of huge joke.”
Georgia’s struggle felt very real and even though I couldn’t relate to everything, I still understood where she was coming from when she said things like the quote above. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that everyone always thinks about having sex (but maybe that’s just my demi behind?!) but a lot of people do and the concept of being aro/ace would be as foreign to them as sexual attraction is to Georgia. For me it was really interesting to see love and romance the way Georgia experiences it and I loved that Rooney, her roommate, was so open-minded and didn’t judge her for any of her actions. They were complete opposites when it came to love but they still accepted each other the way they were and that was a truly beautiful thing.
Rooney paused. “I think it’s pretty amazing that you haven’t felt peer-pressured into doing anything by now. You haven’t made yourself do anything you didn’t want to do. You haven’t kissed anyone just because you’re scared of missing out. I think that’s one of the most mature things I’ve ever heard, actually.”
The strong friendships and the found family trope was in general something I enjoyed about this book and even though the story started slow at first it totally had me hooked by the halfway mark. I think that’s something typical for Alice Oseman’s books, at first they don’t seem to be magical or special but the longer you read, the more you get immersed into the world and by the end of the book it feels like you’ve won a couple of new and amazing friends. Am I the only one who feels like that or are there other people out there who experience Alice’s books the same way?
”They were all just themselves.
I don’t know how to explain it.
There was no pretending. No hiding. No faking.
In this little restaurant hidden away in the old streets of Durham, a bunch of queer people could all show up and just be.
I don’t think I’d understood what that was like until that moment.”
Another thing I always love about Oseman’s book is the diversity we get! I mean just in the small group of Georgia’s friends we have so much diversity bursting from the pages it was a real pleasure just to read about it. (Wordplay not intended. *lol*) Jason has two dads, Sunil is non-binary (he/they) and an asexual homoromantic, Pip is lesbian and Latinx and Rooney her roommate is questioning her sexuality in the book and figuring it out by the end. (Not gonna spoil anything! ;-P) I have no idea if Jason is part of the LGBTQIA+ community as well, but I got certain vibes from him so I guess the reader is allowed to question his sexuality. I just love that about Alice’s books and I’ll never get tired of seeing so much representation. Also can we just acknowledge the mood of the book, because damn that entire book is such a #mood and for me personally, Sunil was THE MOOD! *lol*
”Sunil had already volunteered to be Viola, saying, “Just give me all of the roles that mess around with gender, please.”
”I feel like I’m going to cry,” Sunil said, and then stuffed three more pieces of popcorn into his mouth.
I mean! THIS!!! I loved Sunil so damn much and he was my favourite character in the entire book. I could relate to his character and I lived and breathed for every little Sunil snippet I got. Sunil was the perfect mixture of serious and funny and wow, I loved that mouth he had on him. The way he put Lloyd in his place and cared about Pride Soc and all of its members! Definitely one of my new book love-interests. <333
”Is it stressful? Being the president?”
“Sometimes. But it’s worth it. Makes me feel that I’m doing something important. And that I’m part of something important.” He let out a breath. “I … I did things on my own for a long time. I know how it feels to be totally alone. So now I’m trying to make sure … no queer person has to feel like that in this city.”
Also I can’t thank Alice enough for showing that even members of the LGBTQIA+ community can discriminate and exclude other LGBTQIA+ identities. I wish I could say this isn’t a thing and that everyone is always inclusive, but being a part of the community I’ve seen it happen way too often and even experienced it myself. So Alice is brave for tackling this topic in her book and I’m very thankful she didn’t shy away from showing a realistic and sometimes hurtful part of our community. I really liked how this was addressed in the book and the speech Sunil gave Llyod will forever live in my head rent-free! Sunil got fire!! Loved that about him! <3 And when I’m already talking about Sunil there’s something I need to speak about too. Sunil is introduced as non-binary with he/they pronouns but Georgia only seems to use he/him pronouns whenever she thinks about Sunil. As someone who’s gender-fluid I couldn’t help but wonder if that was on purpose? I mean I know pronouns are tricky and it’s not easy to know which pronouns to use for someone who uses more than one, but usually people who use more than one tend to let people know which ones they are currently using? I dunno. I was just very confused about the fact that I can’t remember a single scene (and maybe that’s just my tired brain) in which Sunil was addressed with they/them pronouns. Just something to think about. ;-) (It’s why I always used he/him pronouns when I spoke about Sunil in this review too.)
”I was angry at the world for making me hate who I was. I was angry at myself for letting these feelings ruin my friendships with the best people in the world. I was angry at every single romance movie, every single fanfic, every single stupid OTP that had made me crave finding the perfect romance. It was because of all of that, no doubt, that this new identity felt like a loss, when in reality, it should have been a beautiful discovery.”
I felt this quote in my bones because I’m sure everyone who’s ever been or felt like a lonely teen can relate at least a little bit to the way Georgia felt. And I loved how Alice Oseman was able to convey all those expectations we grow up with. It’s not easy being a queer kid or adult because just by being yourself you already don’t fit into the heteronormative narration you’ve been raised with your entire life. It’s a way of thinking that’s so ingrained in us, it’s hard to overcome it.
I mean alone the way people think about my kid is interesting and could already be a social experiment. I don’t mention my kid very often when I’m online but when I do I just say “my kid” or “my child”. I almost never mention the gender. Yet that doesn’t stop people from making assumptions. Which is very interesting. When I mention that my kid is ill and that this is the reason I wasn’t online on IG I automatically get messages like: “Oh no, I hope your son is doing better now.” Or “I’m sending your daughter all the healthy vibes.” Why do we jump to conclusions so easily? Why do people automatically assume my kid is a boy or a girl? Just with this little social experiment, you can see that we’ve got a lot of work to do if we want to change people’s heteronormative perceptions for the better. And yes, my dear reader, when I spoke about my “kid” which kind of conclusion did your brain come to? Did you automatically think it’s a girl/boy? I’m very curious what you thought. ;-)
Anyway! You can already see Alice writing “Loveless” is a very thought-provoking impulse to think outside of the box. To question things, to think about why all of the fantasy books of my childhood had straight OTPs and why so many well-known fantasy authors still write only m/f relationships and queer bait us with side-characters that barely get any page time. It makes you wonder why almost every story has to end with an OTP, why friendships aren’t considered to be as important as relationships. Lovers come and go, but true friendships, they will stay with you until you’re old and wrinkled. Why is this considered less important in society than having a husband/wife and starting a family of your own? Who said we have to find that one true love and that this is the only thing that will give our life purpose, meaning and fulfilment? Who makes all those rules that cause us to almost break under the pressure and expectations of others when we’re different than the norm? Who even decides what the norm is? Who has the right to tell us what to do with our lives?
No one. We should all live our lives the way we want to and find happiness in whatever way feels good and right for us. Because we are the ones who live our lives and no one else can live our life for us. See, what I mean!? I love the way Alice’s book caused me to think so much!
This said I think “Loveless” is a masterpiece! It might not seem to be one when you start reading it, but the more you think about the story and the characters, the more you’ll find out about society and yourself. Georgia’s journey and the journey of her friends is important. The representation and diversity in the book is amazing and the way it makes you question things, well it’s perfect! Add to this a lot of confusion, a found family, strong friendships and lots of heartbreak and you have the perfect recipe for chaos! It’s a good kind of chaos, though! Promise! If you haven’t read “Loveless” yet, you definitely should give it a try! The world needs more books like this. ;-)
_________________________________
This started out slow but turned out so great and wholesome! <3
I could relate to so many things and I absolutely loved Sunil! Sunil is amazing!
I want more of Sunil in my life! *lol*
Full RTC soon! I’ve to think on this. This is probably going to be one of my more personal reviews.
__________________________________
I think I might have arrived at the last Alice Oseman book I haven’t read yet. (Aside of “This Winter” but as far as I know it’s a short story.) So yes, “Loveless” is the last actual book I haven’t read yet and I’m so curious about it because I haven’t seen a lot of aro/ace reps in books so far. =)
Leave it to Alice to give us all the representation we crave. XD
Anyway! This one has been on my TBR ever since it came out so I’m totally here for it!
I hope I’ll love it too! *fingers crossed*
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May 3, 2022
i think i highlighted every other line in this book
May 14, 2022
Mój pierwszy patronat, zawsze będę miała do niego sentyment.
Kocham ten tytuł, moją reprezentację (jestem aro ace), bohaterów, poczucie humoru Alice i jeszcze masę małych szczegółów, których nie będę Wam zdradzać.
Koniecznie przeczytajcie.
Kocham ten tytuł, moją reprezentację (jestem aro ace), bohaterów, poczucie humoru Alice i jeszcze masę małych szczegółów, których nie będę Wam zdradzać.
Koniecznie przeczytajcie.
January 9, 2022
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Actual Rating: 3.5 Stars
A few years ago back in the university, one of my friends told me that he thinks I am asexual. I was not (and still not) an expert when it comes to all those different sexualities so I tried to educate myself. There were a lot to take in and I found myself agreeing with some of the things I read online and some things I did not relate to, so I don’t think I am actually asexual. I don’t know if there is something as sexual fluidity because sometimes I feel asexual and sometimes not. I know finding labels is not the important thing so I am just trying to be happy with who I am. Novels can be a great source of discovering and learning new things so when a novel focusing on this topic by an own voice author was released, I decided that I can not miss it.
The novel follows Georgia who is starting university far from home and has all kind of new experiments. I guess it is surprising to no one that this is the story of her discovering and learning more about her sexuality or rather the lack of! I don’t think the plot was very original or amazing. It was certainly well written but not surprising and predictable. I have zero problems with that because the plot is secondary here and the focus should be on the characters and their self-discovery journey.
I am going to discuss the characters in the upcoming section but there is something that bothered me in this book and in fact, it bothered me while reading Alice’s other books such as Heartstopper and I was born this way: There are too many queer characters and before you put my head into a pike and decide to cancel me, I need to explain what I mean by this. I care about representation (Accurate rep) and I encourage diversity. The problem when almost all the characters are gay is that you don’t feel that they are a minority and that makes the struggles of real minorities harder to connect with. For example, in this book, 4 characters are actually asexuals and a simple google search tells us that the asexuality percentage is 1% so 4 asexual characters should have almost 400 other sexualities in the opposing side. I hope what I am trying to say is clear because I don’t want anyone to misinterpret what I am saying.
💉 Georgia: She is the main character, she is Aro-Ace and this is her story of discovering that. Georgia definitely has a lot of thoughts and feelings throughout the story and because we see things through her eyes, we get to experience what she does and what other asexuals do. Sometimes, I felt she was romantic and sometimes she came as a cold person but overall I do understand her struggles. There was a judgmental tone to her voice and thoughts regarding sex sometimes which i have mixed feelings about.
💉 Rooney: Pansexual? When we are first introduced to Rooney, you could get an instant feeling of what kind of characters she is. I think that’s where Oseman’s writing skills shows!
“Rooney, I was quickly learning, was extremely chatty, but I could tell that she was putting on some sort of happy, bubbly persona.”
This gets mentioned later, I was satisfied because I did have the same mental image of Rooney without this needed to be mentioned. I have to point out that my friend Melanie who identify as Pansexual found the representation of Rooney to be not that good and I respect that, you can check why here in her review.
💉 Pip: Georgia’s best friend from childhood, she’s lesbian and she’s just a tornado of emotions and actions. I saw some of my friends in Pip and that’s why I think she was a realistic character.
💉 Jason: Georgia’s and Pip friend, he is straight (Has gay fathers) and he is just a very sweet and understanding person. He has a tough past and he is trying to recover from it.
💉Sunil Jha: President of Pride Soc, Asexual. Sunil is Indian and he is not a freshman, so he takes Georgia under his wing and gives her all kind of advices. He is someone who I would like to befriend in real life.
The story is average paced, I think it dragged a bit in the middle and could have been a bit shorter. I still found it easy to read so that was not really a problem.
Summary: I think stories with Ace main characters are very rare and that’s why this story is important for people who wants to see them represented in books. I think the book is appropriate for younger readers given it is a YA. If you like Oseman’s writing then you will probably like this one.
‘Love ruins everything.’
Actual Rating: 3.5 Stars
A few years ago back in the university, one of my friends told me that he thinks I am asexual. I was not (and still not) an expert when it comes to all those different sexualities so I tried to educate myself. There were a lot to take in and I found myself agreeing with some of the things I read online and some things I did not relate to, so I don’t think I am actually asexual. I don’t know if there is something as sexual fluidity because sometimes I feel asexual and sometimes not. I know finding labels is not the important thing so I am just trying to be happy with who I am. Novels can be a great source of discovering and learning new things so when a novel focusing on this topic by an own voice author was released, I decided that I can not miss it.
The novel follows Georgia who is starting university far from home and has all kind of new experiments. I guess it is surprising to no one that this is the story of her discovering and learning more about her sexuality or rather the lack of! I don’t think the plot was very original or amazing. It was certainly well written but not surprising and predictable. I have zero problems with that because the plot is secondary here and the focus should be on the characters and their self-discovery journey.
I am going to discuss the characters in the upcoming section but there is something that bothered me in this book and in fact, it bothered me while reading Alice’s other books such as Heartstopper and I was born this way: There are too many queer characters and before you put my head into a pike and decide to cancel me, I need to explain what I mean by this. I care about representation (Accurate rep) and I encourage diversity. The problem when almost all the characters are gay is that you don’t feel that they are a minority and that makes the struggles of real minorities harder to connect with. For example, in this book, 4 characters are actually asexuals and a simple google search tells us that the asexuality percentage is 1% so 4 asexual characters should have almost 400 other sexualities in the opposing side. I hope what I am trying to say is clear because I don’t want anyone to misinterpret what I am saying.
💉 Georgia: She is the main character, she is Aro-Ace and this is her story of discovering that. Georgia definitely has a lot of thoughts and feelings throughout the story and because we see things through her eyes, we get to experience what she does and what other asexuals do. Sometimes, I felt she was romantic and sometimes she came as a cold person but overall I do understand her struggles. There was a judgmental tone to her voice and thoughts regarding sex sometimes which i have mixed feelings about.
💉 Rooney: Pansexual? When we are first introduced to Rooney, you could get an instant feeling of what kind of characters she is. I think that’s where Oseman’s writing skills shows!
“Rooney, I was quickly learning, was extremely chatty, but I could tell that she was putting on some sort of happy, bubbly persona.”
This gets mentioned later, I was satisfied because I did have the same mental image of Rooney without this needed to be mentioned. I have to point out that my friend Melanie who identify as Pansexual found the representation of Rooney to be not that good and I respect that, you can check why here in her review.
💉 Pip: Georgia’s best friend from childhood, she’s lesbian and she’s just a tornado of emotions and actions. I saw some of my friends in Pip and that’s why I think she was a realistic character.
💉 Jason: Georgia’s and Pip friend, he is straight (Has gay fathers) and he is just a very sweet and understanding person. He has a tough past and he is trying to recover from it.
💉Sunil Jha: President of Pride Soc, Asexual. Sunil is Indian and he is not a freshman, so he takes Georgia under his wing and gives her all kind of advices. He is someone who I would like to befriend in real life.
The story is average paced, I think it dragged a bit in the middle and could have been a bit shorter. I still found it easy to read so that was not really a problem.
“Was everyone just having sex and falling in love all the time? Why? How was it fair that everyone got to feel that except me?”
Summary: I think stories with Ace main characters are very rare and that’s why this story is important for people who wants to see them represented in books. I think the book is appropriate for younger readers given it is a YA. If you like Oseman’s writing then you will probably like this one.
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