On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God Quotes
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On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God Quotes
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“He said, 'Hi, gorgeous,' which I think is nice. I admire honesty.”
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
“Honestly, what planet do these people live on? And why isn't it farther away?”
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
“I could have quite literally snogged until the cows came home. And when they came home I would have shouted, "WHAT HAVE YOU COWS COME HOME FOR? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SNOGGING, YOU STUPID HERBIVORES???”
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
“Its okay I'm wearing really big knickers.”
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
“When girls walk home we put on lippy and makeup. We chat. Sometimes we pretend to be hunchbacks. But that is it. Perfectly normal behavior.”
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
“Boys are like elastic bands. It doesn't mean that boys are made of elastic, which is a plus because nobody wants a boyfriend made out of rubber. On the other hand, if they were made out of rubber, you could save yourself a lot of time and effort and heartache by just rustling one up out of a car tire. Boys are different from girls. Girls like to be cozy all the time but boys don't. First of all, they like to get all close to you like a coiled-up rubber band, but after a while, they get fed up with being too coiled and need to stretch away to their full stretchiness. Then, after a bit of on-their-own strategy, they ping back to be close to you. So in conclusion on the boy front, you have to play hard to get and also let them be elastic bands.”
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
“I don't want to be rude to the afflicted but Uncle Eddie is bald in a way which is the baldest I have ever seen.”
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
“Or if I truly gave up I could be like Wet Lindsay. When Robbie dumped her she got all pale and even wetter than normal. She was like an anoraksick. (A person who is both very thin and wears tragic anoraks.) I just made that up as a joke. Even though I am very upset I can still think of a joke.”
― It's OK, I'm Wearing Really Big Knickers!
― It's OK, I'm Wearing Really Big Knickers!
“I couldn't believe it. It was unbelievable, that's why. My face was like a frozen fish finger. All rigid and pale. (But obviously not with breadcrumbs on it.)”
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
“Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on where you were sitting) Libby let off the smelliest, loudest fart known to humanity. It came out of her bum-oley with such force that she lifted off my knee - like a hovercraft. Even she looked surprised by what had come out of her.”
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
“You're doing it again and it really annoys me. In fact, I will have to kill you now because I have a lot of untamed energy because of the Sex God. I'm going to have to give you a bit of a duffing up." And I shoved her.
She said, "Don't be silly and childish."
I said, "I'm not."
She got up and started making her hair have more bouncability with the air brush thing again. I waited until she had got it just right (in her opinion); then I hit her over the head with a pillow. She started to say, "Look, this is not funn-" but before she could finish I hit her over the head again with the pillow. And every time she tried to talk I did it again. She got all red-faced, which in Jas's case is very red indeed. It made me feel much better. Violence may be the answer to the world's problems. I may write to the Dalai Lama and suggest he tries my new approach.”
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
She said, "Don't be silly and childish."
I said, "I'm not."
She got up and started making her hair have more bouncability with the air brush thing again. I waited until she had got it just right (in her opinion); then I hit her over the head with a pillow. She started to say, "Look, this is not funn-" but before she could finish I hit her over the head again with the pillow. And every time she tried to talk I did it again. She got all red-faced, which in Jas's case is very red indeed. It made me feel much better. Violence may be the answer to the world's problems. I may write to the Dalai Lama and suggest he tries my new approach.”
― On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God