Parenting Quotes

“Child abuse is still sanctioned — indeed, held in high regard — in our society as long as it is defined as child-rearing. It is a tragic fact that parents beat their children in order to escape the emotions from how they were treated by their own parents.”
― Alice Miller, The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self

“On top of the abuse and neglect, denial heaps more hurt upon the child by requiring the child to alienate herself from reality and her own experience. In troubled families, abuse and neglect are permitted; it's the talking about them that is forbidden.”
― Marcia Sirota

“Ty grabbed my phone and threatened to tell Otter that I liked being spanked during sex.

This proceeded to lead up on a long tangent where I had to have him explain to me how he knows about stuff like people getting spanked during sex. He said he might have heard it mentioned while watching MSNBC. I told him he was grounded from watching the news channels for a week. That's where this whole sidebar should have ended, but then I was forced to explain S & M and bondage to my little brother, who was persistent on the topic, and who kept staring at me with mounting horror when I finally /did/ explain, and I realized I had maybe gone too far, and we had to spend the next five minutes swearing to God that I had never nor would I ever attempt to do anything like that. He might now be the only nine-year-old who has heard the terms "cock ring" and "fisting". My parenting skills are unparalleled.”
― T.J. Klune, Bear, Otter, and the Kid

“Good parents use the mistakes they did in the past when they were young to advice the children God gave to them to prevent them from repeating those mistakes again. However, bad parents always want to be seen as right and appear" angelic and saintly "as if they never had horrible youth days.”
― Israelmore Ayivor

“In retrospect, it seems obvious that my research about parenting was also a means to subdue my anxieties about becoming a parent.... I grew up afraid of illness and disability, inclined to avert my gaze from anyone who was too different – despite all the ways I knew myself to be different. This book helped me kill that bigoted impulse, which I had always known to be ugly. The obvious melancholy in the stories I heard should, perhaps, have made me shy away from paternity, but it had the opposite effect.”
― Andrew Solomon

“Life-transforming ideas have always come to me through books.”
- Bell Hooks”
― Win Quier, Jeremiah's Journey: Gaining Our Autistic Son by Losing Him to the System

“You can't spell" parentry "without" try. "Of course, you'll make a few mistakes. The important thing is that the mistakes you make withyourkids are the same ones your parents made withyou.At least you know how those turn out.”
― Stephen Colbert, I Am America

“No child ever became ‘good’ by being told that she or he was bad or by beating her/him.”
― Maddy Malhotra, How to Build Self-Esteem and Be Confident: Overcome Fears, Break Habits, Be Successful and Happy

“We're constantly judging and grading other parents, just to make sure that they aren't any better than us. I'm as guilty as anyone. I see some lady hand her kid a Nintendo DS at the supermarket and I instantly downgrade that lady to Shitty Parent status. I feel pressure to live up to a parental ideal that no one probably has ever achieved. I feel pressure to raise a group of human beings that will help America kick the shit out of Finland and South Korea in the world math rankings. I feel pressure to shield my kids from the trillion pages of hentai donkey porn out there on the Internet. I feel pressure to make the insane amounts of money needed for a supposedly 'middle-class' upbringing for the kids, an upbringing that includes a house and college tuition and health care and so many other expenses that you have to be a multimillionaire to afford it. PRESSURE PRESSURE PRESSURE.”
― Drew Magary, Someone Could Get Hurt: A Memoir of Twenty-First-Century Parenthood

“Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children; and here was one who was worshipping a stone!”
― Thackeray William Makepeace

“My God,” she says. “I feel like I’ve gone through a car wash.”

I laugh, or force myself to, because it’s not something I’d normally laugh at.

“What about you?” she says to Scottie. “How did you make out?”

“I’m a boy,” Scottie says. “Look at me.”

Sand has gotten into the bottom of her suit, creating a huge bulge. She scratches at the bulge. “I’m going to go to work now,” she says. I think she’s impersonating me and that Mrs. Speer is getting an unrealistic, humiliating glimpse.

“Scottie,” I say. “Take that out.”

“It must be fun to have girls,” Mrs. Speer says.

She looks at the ocean, and I see that she’s looking at Alex sunbathing on the floating raft. Sid leans over Alex and puts his mouth to hers. She raises a hand to his head, and for a moment I forget it’s my daughter out there and think of how long it has been since I’ve been kissed or kissed like that.

“Or maybe you have your hands full,” Mrs. Speer says.

“No, no,” I say. “It’s great,” and it is, I suppose, though I feel like I’ve just acquired them and don’t know yet. “They’ve been together for ages.” I gesture to Alex and Sid. I don’t understand if they’re a couple or if this is how all kids in high school act these days.

Mrs. Speer looks at me curiously, as if she’s about to say something, but she doesn’t.

“And boys.” I gesture to her little dorks. “They must keep you busy.”

“They’re a handful. But they’re at such a fun age. It’s such a joy.”

She gazes out at her boys. Her expression does little to convince me that they’re such a joy. I wonder how many times parents have these dull conversations with one another and how much they must hide. They’re so goddamn hyper, I’d do anything to inject them with a horse tranquilizer. They keep insisting that I watch what they can do, but I truly don’t give a fuck. How hard is it to jump off a diving board?

My girls are messed up, I want to say. One talks dirty to her own reflection. Did you do that when you were growing up?

“Your girls seem great, too,” she says. “How old are they?”

“Ten and eighteen. And yours?”

“Ten and twelve.”

“Oh,” I say. “Great.”

“Your younger one sure is funny,” she says. “I mean, not funny. I meant entertaining.”

“Oh, yeah. That’s Scottie. She’s a riot.”
― Kaui Hart Hemmings, The Descendants

“Raising a child is a time of RAPID CHANGE! From the ages of 0 to 19, a PARENT can age over 30 years!”
― Comic Strip Mama

“The best security blanket a child can have is parents who respect each other.”
― Jan Blaustone

“Do you guys have sunscreen?” I ask.

“No,” Scottie says. “Do we have water?”

“Did you bring any?” Alex asks.

“No,” I say.

Alex pops her head up. “Did you bring snacks for us?”

“We can walk to town.”

How do mothers manage to bring everything a child could need?”
― Kaui Hart Hemmings, The Descendants

“Meditation is doing what you are doing - whether you are doing formal meditation or child care.”
― Norman Fischer, Training in Compassion: Zen Teachings on the Practice of Lojong

“My mother is European and expresses her love through food and cuddling. She wasn't the type of mother who would make it to school plays or soccer games, but if you wanted to stay at home sick, she was your girl. Whenever you'd go up to her room to cuddle with her, she'd pull out a Kit Kat or Snickers bar from her night table and look at you with dancing eyes.”
― Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

“Responsibilities fall heaviest on those willing to take the load.”
― Heather Day Gilbert, God's Daughter

“Not that I have any little kids running around I need to keep away from the guns. I had any kids I'd get rid of the guns. Nothing more dangerous to the life of a child than a house full of firearms. Nothing more dangerous except maybe a parent.”
― Charlie Huston, Already Dead

“Motherhood:
The most exhausting, emotional, rewarding
and life-enhancing journey a woman can take.”
― Charlotte Pearson, Mummy Fever: Mission Accomplished

“The world talks to the mind. Parents speak more intimately; they talk to the heart.”
― Hain Ginott

“I wasn’t anything special as a father. But I loved them and they knew it.”
― Sammy Davis Jr.

“I had to ask Scottie what TYVM meant, because now that I’ve narrowed into her activities, I notice she is constantly text-messaging her friends, or at least I hope it’s her friends and not some perv in a bathrobe.

“Thank you very much,” Scottie said, and for some reason, the fact that I didn’t get this made me feel completely besieged. It’s crazy how much fathers are supposed to know these days. I come from the school of thought where a dad’s absence is something to be counted on. Now I see all the men with camouflage diaper bags and babies hanging from their chests like little ship figureheads. When I was a young dad, I remember the girls sort of bothered me as babies, the way everyone raced around to accommodate them. The sight of Alex in her stroller would irritate me at times—she’d hang one of her toddler legs over the rim of the safety bar and slouch down in the seat. Joanie would bring her something and she’d shake her head, then Joanie would try again and again until an offering happened to work and Alex would snatch it from her hands. I’d look at Alex, finally complacent with her snack, convinced there was a grown person in there, fooling us all. Scottie would just point to things and grunt or scream. It felt like I was living with royalty. I told Joanie I’d wait until they were older to really get into them, and they grew and grew behind my back.”
― Kaui Hart Hemmings, The Descendants

“TV news is like kryptonite to children. The two major shifts in taste for children to adulthood are news and mustard. Kids hate news and mustard. Well, mustard even has the word 'turd' in it. Maybe I should threaten my kids that if they don't go to bed, I will force them to watch an hour-long newscast about mustard.”
― Jim Gaffigan, Dad Is Fat

“The surest way to a child's heart is to spend time with them.”
― Kevin Heath

“Ask any child who failed to live up to his parents’ idea of success, and you’ll likely hear that they never felt good enough, or that their parents had expectations that they could not live up to.”
― Nancy Rose, Raise the Child You've Got—Not the One You Want

“In order for them to be the best they can be, my children need me to be the best version of me I can be. That means
taking charge of our lives, being strong even if I don’t feel it,being brave and believing that I can make things better.”
― Charlotte Pearson, Mummy Fever: Mission Accomplished

“Keeping secrets from your father will only lead to trouble.”
― S.R. Ford, Mimgardr

“Just remember something, okay? And this is neither here nor there but it’s something I really want you to know. Not that I think you have much trouble with this, but let’s be clear: you don’t owe your parents anything if they don’t respect you. That’s bullshit, to be taught that just because they created you and made sure you didn’t roll over in your crib and die, you owe them anything. So what I’m saying is use him. Use him if you can, if he lets you. But then don’t think you ever have to look back if he doesn’t respect you.”
― Vee Hoffman

“Correction badly undertaken creates distance.”
― Kevin Thoman

“Make no mistake, every child has his own light, no matter how difficult or defiant or unlikeable he or she might seem.”
― Nancy Rose, Raise the Child You've Got—Not the One You Want