- The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
- Pinky: Woof, oh, I'd have to say the odds of that are terribly slim, Brain.
- The Brain: True.
- Pinky: I mean, really, when have I ever been pondering what you've been pondering?
- The Brain: To my knowledge, never.
- Pinky: Exactly. So, what are the chances that this time, I'm pondering what you're pondering?
- The Brain: Next to nil.
- Pinky: Well, that's exactly what I'm thinking, too.
- The Brain: Therefore, you ARE pondering what I'm pondering.
- Pinky: Poit! I guess I am.
- Dolly Parton: I'm your biggest fan, whaddya say to that?
- The Brain: I'd say puberty was inordinately kind to you.
- The Brain: This is the Earth. And this is Pinky. You can tell the difference quite easily. One is a lump of inert matter hurtling blindly through the void. The other... is the Earth.
- The Brain: Hurry up, Pinky, If we don't get to Carly Simon's house I'll never know if that song was about me.
- The Brain: So, you sacked the cocky khaki Kicky Sack sock plucker?
- Mr. Sackett: The second cocky khaki Kicky Sack sock plucker I've sacked since the sixth sitting sheet slitter got sick.
- The Brain: Pinky, you give a whole new meaning to the phrase, "counter-intelligence." You have the I.Q. of plaster.
- [the Brain's shrinking chant]
- The Brain: Charlie Sheen, Ben Vereen, shrink to the size of a lima bean.
- The Brain: Tomorrow night, Pinky, we will come up with a new plan. One that isn't foiled by the atomic weight of gold.
- The Brain: Enough! If this is what passes for conduct becoming of world leaders, I don't want any part of it!
- Pinky: :
- [first lines]
- Pinky: Gee, Brain, whaddya wanna do tonight?
- The Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!
- Singers: :
- [opening theme song]
- Singers: They're Pinky and the Brain / Yes, Pinky and the Brain / One is a genius, the other's insane / They're laboratory mice, their genes have been spliced / They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain / Before each night is done, their plan will be unfurled / By the dawning of the Sun, they'll take over the world / They're Pinky and the Brain / Yes, Pinky and the Brain / Their twilight campaign is easy to explain / To prove their mousy worth, they'll overthrow the Earth / They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain / Narf!
- [the Brain has made a list of the six things that he needs to be a country music superstar]
- The Brain: Read me the list, Pinky.
- Pinky: Okay. A cowboy hat.
- The Brain: Check.
- Pinky: A Southern dialect.
- The Brain: Check, y'all.
- Pinky: Nice, Brain. Working class values.
- The Brain: I adore beef jerky and the comedy stylings of Gallagher. Check.
- Pinky: A song.
- The Brain: Check.
- Pinky: A name consisting of not less than three words.
- The Brain: From now on I shall be known as Bubba Bo Bob Brain. Check.
- Pinky: And a height of at least six feet.
- The Brain: I-I-I-... Drat! There must be some way for me to increase my height.
- Pinky: Hmm... let me think.
- [bops himself on the head a few times with his fist]
- The Brain: Don't hurt yourself, Pinky.
- The Brain: Behold, I can create fire from a little box.
- Alan: So what?
- Cannibal #1: Big deal.
- Cannibal #2: Let's eat 'em.
- The Brain: I can steal your souls and put them in this glass.
- Alan: So what?
- Cannibal #1: Big deal.
- Cannibal #2: Let's eat 'em.
- Pinky: I can make bubbles with my spit.
- [the cannibals gasp and begin to bow]
- The Brain: *Now* do you believe we were sent by your god?
- Alan: Naw, that's just *really cool*.
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