Emily and Quentin. All photographs: Jonny Weeks/The Guardian

Dining across the divide: ‘My friends expect a negative response when they say they’re British, which is a shame’

They had different takes on immigration, the monarchy and Britain’s colonial past – how did they end up swapping numbers?

Emily, 37, Plymouth

OccupationNurse

Voting recordGenerally Labour; has voted Green, and occasionally Lib Dem tactically

Amuse boucheHas been an all-year sea swimmer

Quentin, 34, Penzance

OccupationUsed to be a physio, now a web designer

Voting recordLabour, Green and Lib Dem

Amuse boucheQuentin once owned a cow called Jesse. He had to rehome it when he moved from Ireland to England

For starters

EmilyI tried not to have too many preconceptions, but I definitely had a few. He was nothing like I expected. Really nice guy, great beard.

QuentinShe seemed nice, a bit nervous and reserved. But then I’m quite chatty and outgoing. Once we got conversing, she was lovely to talk to.

EmilyI had some salt-and-pepper squid with a nice side salad. And he had some bread and olives, and then we both had a sticky toffee pudding at the end.

QuentinI had the crab linguine, which was delicious.

The big beef

EmilyI struggle with immigration policy as is, because it attributes financial value to people and skills. It devalues a lot of cultural roles and/or artistic ones. I think in most cases you have to be earning over £38k before you can come here, and that rules out 95% of creatives. It’s also more than my salary, which is ludicrous.

QuentinI think economic migration should be encouraged, but for particular gaps in the skills market. What I said to Emily was that I feel like the systems in place are not in line with the demands being put on them. She thought there shouldn’t be any borders and everybody should be free to move wherever they like. I understood her point of view and I wouldn’t necessarily disagree with it. But in terms of economic migration, if skills are what governments and society value, those are what should be encouraged.

EmilyHe was looking at it entirely from the point of view of the needs of the country, the shortfalls in the workforce – with people admitted only based on those criteria, whereas I struggle with the whole notion that we can decide who comes and who doesn’t. It’s a bit not-in-my-backyard type of an attitude. We don’t own this bit of land, it’s just another bit of land.

QuentinI’m an economic migrant here. That’s what I view myself as. But a lot of people coming into a country, who are less familiar with it, need more help. That could be linked to the years of Tory government and the decimation of public services, I guess.

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Sharing plate

EmilyI wouldn’t mind the monarchy being abolished, and I wouldn’t mind it remaining, but if it remains, it really has to change.

QuentinI definitely think the royals are culturally important. I was talking about how I’m very proud to be Irish; I tell people that and I always get a good response. My fiancee is English and I’ve loads of English friends, and when they say they’re British, they’re expecting to get a negative response. That’s a bit of a shame.

EmilyHe feels the monarchy gives us cultural standing, and therefore tourism. It seems like a very large pot of money to spend on that, money that could probably be really useful in many other places.

QuentinOK – they shouldn’t get the tax breaks and all the economic benefits they get, and all the land.

Dining across the divide: ‘It felt as if I was fighting for us to have something in common – she was living in a different world’

For afters

EmilyShould Britain apologise for its colonialist past? For me, an apology is fine, but it has to be backed up with an acknowledgment of what happened and proactive teaching about it.

QuentinIndividually I don’t think people should have to apologise for a colonial past. At a higher level, the government and the monarchy and whatever, I don’t know if apologising is the correct thing, but acknowledging that wrong was done is appropriate.

Takeaways

EmilyWe found out that he used to live very near Plymouth so we’ve probably mixed in the same circles. I would not be surprised if our paths had already crossed. If I ran into him in the street, I’d be absolutely chuffed to see him.

QuentinWe exchanged numbers. I showed her where she could go for a swim after we ate. Sure, we’d just eaten, but I like to live life on the edge – and I wasn’t the one swimming.