How to Have a Good Video Date

Co-authored by Collette Gee and Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA

When you think of dating, you might imagine meeting up for coffee or eating a delicious meal at your favorite restaurant. However, times are changing. Being unable to meet up with someone in person doesn’t mean you can’t go on a date. Video dates are a fun way to spend time with your romantic partner, whether you’re just getting to know each other or have been together for a long time.

Method1

Method 1 of 4:

Planning Your Date

1
Pick a video call platform you both use.You have a ton of options for doing a video date. Talk to your partner about the platforms they like to use. Then, pick one you both like. Here are some ideas:^{[1]
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- Use FaceTime if you both have iPhones.
- Try Facebook Messenger if you both use Facebook.
- Pick Skype for an easy, free option that allows for screen sharing.
- Use Zoom if you're more comfortable using its video meeting feature, which also allows screen sharing.
2
Charge your device so it won’t die during the date.You don’t want your phone, tablet, or computer to crash in the middle of your date. Make sure your battery is full before you start your date, and monitor your charge so you can tell your date if you need to sign off.^{[2]
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- Keep your charger nearby if you want to quickly charge your device during the date.
- If you're using a computer for your video call, you might just leave it plugged in so it stays charged.
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3
Schedule your date in advance so it feels like an event.Part of the fun of dating is building anticipation. Plan your date in advance so you can look forward to it. Arrange a time and day that works for both you and your date.^{[3]
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- For instance, you might set the date for Friday at 7:00 p.m.
- Be specific about the time and place. Don’t just say, “What about some time this weekend?”
4
Tell your date if you're uncomfortable with them recording the call.Many video call platforms allow you to film your call. You may prefer that your date not record you, so discuss your preferences beforehand. Additionally, ask your date if they're okay with you recording the video call if you desire.
- For instance, you and your date might talk about past relationships or topics related to your sexuality during the call. You may not want a video recording of this conversation because of privacy concerns.
- Even if you’ve agreed not to record it, treat the date like it’s being recorded, just in case.
5
Send flirty messages to build anticipation if you're in a relationship.Before your date, text or email your partner about your excitement over the date. Tell your date how much you want to see them and give them hints about what you might be wearing. If you feel ready, consider sending them a suggestive pic.
- You might say, “I can’t wait to see you tonight,” or "I've been thinking about you all day."
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Method2

Method 2 of 4:

Looking Your Best

1
Dress up like you’re going out, especially if it's a new relationship.Dressing up may not seem important for a video date, but it helps make the occasion feel special. Choose an outfit that makes you feel great about yourself. Additionally, style your hair and consider applying makeup, if you wear it.^{[4]
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- For instance, you might wear a cute top, a polo shirt, or a nice button-up shirt.
- If you know you’ll only be visible from the chest up, you might just wear a nice shirt with your sweat pants. Don’t feel like you need to get dressed up like you’re going to prom.
- If you're in a long-term relationship, you may decide to not dress up for every date. Do what makes you feel most comfortable.
2
Choose a well-lit area to stage your video call.You likely want your date to be impressed by you, and good lighting will help you look your best. If you can, find a spot in your home that gets good natural lighting, such as near a large window. Otherwise, pick a place with bright overhead lighting.^{[5]
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- You might set up a lamp near the spot where you want to set up your camera so that you get more lighting.
Variation:Play around with mood lighting if you like. As an example, you might try candlelight or a colored light bulb to create intimacy.
3
Arrange the area where you’re filming so it looks nice.This may not matter if you've been in a relationship for a while, but you may want a new partner's first impression of your home to be a good one. Your date is probably going to check out your background to see what your home is like. Tidy up the area so it won’t distract your date. Then, position your items so that they present you in a way you like.^{[6]
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- Consider the story that your space tells about you. You might arrange your spot to show off your hobbies or interests. Alternatively, you might pick an area with a bare wall so your date will stay focused on you.
4
Position your camera at a flattering angle.You likely know that certain camera angles make you look fabulous while others are unflattering. Play around with your camera to see which angle makes you look most attractive. Make a test video to see how you’ll look on your date.^{[7]
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- Try the angle you typically use when taking selfies.
5
Do a practice call or test video before a first date.While this is optional, a test call or video can help you ensure you look your best on your date. Call a friend and ask them what they think of your date look and how your background looks. Alternatively, film yourself to get an idea of what your date will see.^{[8]
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- If you're feeling nervous, this can help you calm down and feel more excited about the date.
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Method3

Method 3 of 4:

Interacting on Your Date

1
Look into the camera when you talk instead of watching the video.It's hard to make eye contact when you're on a video call. Your eyes will naturally go to the video of yourself or your date. When you speak, look directly at the camera so it looks like you're making eye contact.^{[9]
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- To your date, it will feel like you're looking directly at them, even though you're really looking at the lens.
2
Be yourself instead of trying to be perfect.You likely want to impress your date, but don't try to be someone you're not. Your date is interested in you, so show them who you really are. Be honest about what you like, how you spend your time, and what you want in a relationship. Additionally, don't try to use filters or angling to make yourself look different.^{[10]
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- No one is perfect, so it's okay to show some flaws.
3
Try to limit your fidgeting if you've just started dating.Fidgeting can be distracting, especially during a video call. Plus, your date may see fidgeting as a sign that you're nervous. Be mindful of your movements and try to be as still as possible.^{[11]
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- It may help to drape a blanket over your lap so your movement is restricted.
4
Keep your comments positive if you're still getting to know each other.You might be really stressed or worried right now, and that's okay. However, try not to share those feelings with someone you've just met. Instead, focus on the good things that are happening in your life. This will help you end your date on a positive note.^{[12]
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- It's okay to mention that you're having troubles, just try not to dwell on them. For instance, you might say, "Things have been hard lately, but I'm getting by. How are things going for you?"
5
Prepare questions for a first date in case there's an awkward silence.It's totally normal to have an awkward silence during a date, but they might be more noticeable during a video chat. Fortunately, you can quickly overcome these awkward moments by asking a question. Make a list of questions related to your date's interests, pop culture, or current events. You might also ask basic background and personality questions.^{[13]
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- You might ask things like, "What was your favorite toy when you were a child?" "Which character in Star Wars do you relate to the most?" "How do you like to spend a day at the beach?" or "What book would you recommend and why?"
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Method4

Method 4 of 4:

Making Your Date Fun

1
Have a drink together for an easy first date.You’ve probably met up with a potential love match to grab a coffee or enjoy happy hour. Why not recreate this fun, easy date via video chat? Arrange to share a drink during your video chat, and treat it like an in-person date. Make your drink in advance and agree to end your date soon after you each finish drinking.^{[14]
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- For instance, you might plan a coffee date for lunchtime or a wine date for after work.
2
Share a meal together if you want a conventional date.If you can’t go out together, eat together over video chat. Prepare a homemade meal or order take-out.^{[15]
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Expert Source

Collette Gee
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist
Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.}As you eat together, talk about what’s going on in your lives, ask each other questions, and have a good time.^{[16]
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- Consider ordering take-out from the same restaurant if possible.
Tip:If you’re cooking your own meal, start your video date during your meal prep. You might even try following the same recipe. Chat and joke around as you prepare the dish.^{[17]
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3
Do a round of 20 questions to get to know each other better.Video dates are a great opportunity to build a deeper connection with someone. Asking each other questions is a convenient, easy way to learn more about them so you can grow closer. Write down your list of questions before your date. Then, take turns asking and answering the questions.^{[18]
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- You might ask questions like, “What’s your favorite movie and why?” “What is your dream vacation?” “What’s the most exciting adventure you’ve been on?” “Are you a morning person or night owl?” “What do you do in your free time?” “What mythological creature would you choose as a pet?”
4
Watch and discuss a movie if you're in the mood for a film.Choose a movie that interests both of you, then start it at the same time. Share your reactions to the movie like you would if you were sitting together. After the movie, spend 15-30 minutes talking about it.^{[19]
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- Try a simultaneous video streaming platforms to help you watch your movie together. For instance, TwoSeven and Metastream work with most streaming services and allow you to start your movie at exactly the same time. If you're using Netflix, try Netflix Party for an easy, convenient option.
- You might decide to turn off your video call during the movie itself. For instance, you could start your date with a short 10-15 minute video call, then transition to text during the movie. After the movie, you could return to video chat for another 15-30 minutes so you can discuss the movie.
5
Recreate a sip-n-paint date if you like being creative.During a sip-n-paint date, you and your partner follow along with an art instructor and enjoy your favorite drink, like wine or soda. You can easily recreate this kind of date over video chat! Pick an online art instructional video to follow or keep it simple by expressing your own creativity. As you create together, sip on a drink you enjoy.^{[20]
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- Pick a project that fits your skill level. If you’re both beginners, look for an easy project.
- You might try one of artist Bob Ross’s instructional videos, which are widely available online.
6
Try stargazing if you want a romantic, late-night date.Looking up at the stars is very romantic and is easy to do in a video chat. Schedule your date for after dark, then lay out a blanket in your yard or pick a cozy spot on your balcony or near a window. Open a stargazing app to help you find planets, stars, and constellations.^{[21]
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- You might try SkyView for Android or IOS or Night Sky for IOS.
- You’ll be able to see the stars best outdoors. However, you might try stargazing from a dark room in your home if you can’t go outside or don’t have a yard.
7
Go on a digital tour of a museum or city for a cultural experience.Some famous museums offer a virtual tour feature that you can use to check out their most popular exhibits. Similarly, you can use Google street view and tourism materials to take a virtual tour of a city you’ve always wanted to visit, like Paris or Mexico City. Use the screen sharing feature on your video call software so you can both see the same thing.^{[22]
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- For instance, you can take a virtual tour of the Louvre in Paris here:https://www.louvre.fr/en/visites-en-ligne
- Check out the Google Arts & Culture exhibits here:https://artsandculture.google.com/project/exhibits
8
Play an online or board game for a fun, interactive date.A game night is a fun date idea that’s easy to do online. Pick a game you can play with 2-players, whether it’s an online game or a board game. Here are some ideas:^{[23]
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- Try a two-person online game, such as tic tac toe, Connect 4, Minecraft, The Forest, or Slither.
- Play a board game you both own, like Yahtzee, Monopoly, or Life.
- Pick a game that uses dice so you can each roll for yourselves, but have 1 person control the game board.
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Expert Q&A

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Question

How do you make a date fun?

Collette Gee
Dating Coach
Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.

Collette Gee

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Try to relax and just act the way you would on a normal date. Remember, it's all about having fun and getting to know someone you really like! If you normally love group dates, try finding an online happy hour that the two of you can join.

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Question

How can I meet someone new to date during coronavirus?

Collette Gee
Dating Coach
Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.

Collette Gee

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

You can still meet people on dating sites, then have online dates as a way to get to know each other. You can also hire a dating coach and matchmaker to help you find someone who's really suited for your personality.

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Tips

Build your intimacy by sending each other letters or care packages in the mail.^{[24]
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Take turns planning fun video dates for each other.

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